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red94daman t1_je2z1y2 wrote

Or you get that temperamental penis that decides it wants to shoot split stream.

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sh4d0wm4n2018 t1_je4864z wrote

Or you settle into a stream just for it to angle off at 45° two thirds of the way through.

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tillytubeworm t1_je4tn7p wrote

That’s the post masturbation/sex without a shower stream

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Xfissionx t1_je3tctv wrote

Lol check out this guy who doesnt mist, garden sprinkler and sideways piss for no fucking reason.

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PinkFloydSheep t1_je7gmpy wrote

My personal favorite setting is jet mode. Gotta empty my bladder at 120MPH

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CecilBeaver t1_je5ubml wrote

At one point in our evolution, we were roughly evenly divided between streamers and misters. The men who were constantly covered in their own urine didn't reproduce as successfully, for some reason.

Ironically, some folks still call me Mister.

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tatertot225 t1_je4ni1n wrote

Years of abuse and a few bouts with STDs will change it from a marksmanship rifle capable of (literally) pissing off shit stains to a 12ga birdshot spread, not to mention that first second where it very well might take a 90° turn right off the tip and into the curious kittens face.

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myourmomshot t1_je6wf7c wrote

Or the split stream that shoots to both side nowhere near the toilet!😡

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Sonabaybeach OP t1_je6x8s4 wrote

Ah yes I forgot about the 3rd phantom option

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myourmomshot t1_je71sv0 wrote

Nah dawg, it’s split stream, jethro Tull wrote a song about it

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Leifpete t1_je3indk wrote

At least it's not in a state of superpissition or quantum state where the expected outcome can be both, either or neither, all at the same time. 👀

Edit: misspelled superposition.

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tillytubeworm t1_je4tsp8 wrote

The misspelling is too perfect for me to think it was an accident

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the-silver-tuna t1_je5dtea wrote

I have way too much sex to deal with the cleanup so I just pee sitting down.

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Arman11511 t1_je6f3t0 wrote

You know how some garden hoses have different modes and you have to turn the nozzle to change between them but sometimes it gets stuck between two positions and doesn't turn properly, resulting in a half-twisted pressured stream? Yeah I wish that didn't apply to penises

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Franticfap t1_je76wn3 wrote

We would have to pee into tubes in that case, or maybe catheters would be as common as wallets

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Showerthoughts_Mod t1_je2t2vc wrote

This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.

Remember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not "thoughts had in the shower!"

(For an explanation of what a "showerthought" is, please read this page.)

Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.

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beforeusernames t1_je3ra2r wrote

He’s a member of the gay and lesbian alliance for some reason

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-Lucretius- t1_je3t9gi wrote

I hate when it's like water getting poured out of a cup, you get the stream, and the dribble

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PATR0CLU_S t1_je7lrqg wrote

I never want the idea of Mist Mode Piss to ever cross my mind again

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SpyralHam t1_je7nhvg wrote

More like girls are unlucky that we pee streams, cuz if we didn't we'd have to sit like they do and the seat debate would be no more

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pit1989_noob t1_jeckw24 wrote

i am a little curious do mist mode exist? or product from OP's mind

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ButtholeBolinski t1_je2xke6 wrote

If I want to close my office door and pee in a bottle so I don't have to walk past a half dozen people on the way to the bathroom that I don't want to interact with, mist mode would be much stealthier than steam mode

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