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doowgad1 t1_iuhj8ii wrote

Which is why you need to learn to let shit go.

If you're the only one who cares about it, what's the point?

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SteamKore t1_iuhms4y wrote

Took me WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too long to figure this out.

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oldbastardbob t1_iuhqgm9 wrote

The other day there was a LPT recommending that people reminisce about the past whenever feeling down.

Seems it didn't go so well when myself and several others pointed out that ruminating on past crap is the opposite of helpful and is something therapists work at getting patients to learn from, let go of, move on, and hopefully forget about.

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SteamKore t1_iuhra8s wrote

Like in specific cases it's useful, even necessary, but yeah for the most part it's just not great, especially with past traumas.

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iceynyo t1_iuhujc2 wrote

The problem is when people hang on to bad memories... Nothing wrong with reminiscing about the positive stuff. Also nothing wrong with remembering the bad stuff as a lesson, as long as it's not making you sad all the time.

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VigorousFroth t1_iuhweef wrote

Yep, balance is key. Things usually arent as 0% or 100% as Reddit makes it seem. There's nuance to things.

If someone dies its traumatic, yes. but reminiscing with fam and friends about happy times can ease the pain and loneliness you feel after losing someone.

Still hurts, but you don't risk bottling everything up and reaching a point of despair.

Of course it varies from person to person how they handle trauma and the type of trauma inflicted varies, but there's always a way to ease the effects even if it doesn't seem like it in the heat of the moment.

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Skydude252 t1_iuhx27l wrote

Reminiscing about positive stuff can be bad too, past a point. It can be nice to briefly connect with good things that happen, smile remembering them and such. If you become stuck in the past, though, it can keep you from improving your current life. It’s the kind of thing that keeps people stuck in a mindset of a high school athlete when that was the highlight of their life.

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iceynyo t1_iuhz0ng wrote

Yeah that's true... that's basically turning a good memory from the past into a negative emotion in the present.

But yeah anything that keeps you living in the past for any reason would be bad. Unless you've invented time travel I guess.

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sadbutmakeyousmile t1_iuhtlpt wrote

Dude get out of my head. I will hold on to it coz that bitch said sonething to me in fifth grade. I will let it impact my life and daily decisions.

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Forehead_Target t1_iuhzb9u wrote

You joke, (I hope) but my grandmother actually did this. She talked about some petty slight someone gave her when she was 7ish until she died when she was 91. She was a miserable, miserable woman.

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sadbutmakeyousmile t1_iuib29z wrote

You hope is wrong my friend it actually happened to me. Now coz ya told me a story I will tell mine to you.

According to my mom I was the most handsome kid. I genuinely used to believe that and beam with confidence everyday at school.

Then one day our drama club was having some play, and the 10th and 12th graders who were like the heads of the drama club came asking for someone to play the role of a younger kid.

I was so confident I raised my hand immediately, then this girl who had come, who was a long member of the club and teachers favourite said to me , looking straight in the eye with an expression of disgust-"Have you seen your face". I still remember her look, since that day, I have been told more than once that I am good looking , have nice features yada yada through my life but NEVER, NEVER will I ever believe even one of them. I judge and push away anyone who tries to make me feel better about myself. I will probably live like this till my old age.

But I will not be an angry old man. I help people who suffer from similar stuff like me, I pull them out of their misery or help them feel 100 times better about themselves. But I will not, cannot pull myself out.

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Imightbeworking t1_iuhu8c9 wrote

I will never give up my Vendetta on Wendy's. They might not care, but I CARE!

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bopeepsheep t1_iuhxubq wrote

I had my life kinda ruined (traumatised for some time, cost me money, jeopardised a job, etc) by something that the person who did it barely remembered a month later, never mind now. That will never excuse it. I may not ever forget it, and neither will the handful of other people affected.

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greenappletree t1_iuhuh7s wrote

Like they say - dont sweat the small stuff and most things are really not that important

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ucdragoon t1_iuhwij6 wrote

I feel like this comment doesn't really make sense to this post. It makes it sound like if someone is a piece of shit all the time and doesn't realize it then it doesn't matter

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SurroundingAMeadow t1_iui4cou wrote

Some of the best advice I ever received was to not spend more time thinking about something somebody said than what they did.

So often we dwell on something that was just an offhand casual remark.

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Eastrider1006 t1_iuhu5ke wrote

This is what I needed to read and I hope I remember this post whenever something haunts me.

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pladhoc t1_iuhw6y6 wrote

I'm going to use these memories as motivation to be a better person, while also not letting that bring me down.

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karagiselle t1_iuhw90p wrote

This shower thought is the nightmare of my everyday, causes my depression and anxiety, and I’m still trying to learn how to let shit go.

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Bamres t1_iuhyy1l wrote

There are a few things I needed and need to learn to Let go, but at the same time, there are people who I can't see as having changed enough that I would let them back to being close again because the same shit would repeat.

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Philyeagles710 t1_iui0dlh wrote

I mean if someone blatantly disrespects me, why should I let it go? I don’t sit there and stew over it, but I won’t ever forget it. If they are fine with doing it once, then they’d be fine with doing it again. And why would they care? They clearly think their behavior is normal and ok.

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doowgad1 t1_iui1zi4 wrote

You met an asshole. Let it go

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Philyeagles710 t1_iui4xzs wrote

Lol ok. I’ll just let the shitty people walk all over me. Good to know that’s how it works in your world.

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doowgad1 t1_iuiuj1q wrote

If you’re going to put words in my mouth please serve them with chips and salsa. Deal with the situation at hand and then it’s over. You being mad a decade later doesn’t hurt whoever you are mad at

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Philyeagles710 t1_iuiv9yo wrote

You tell me to deal with the situation at hand, but you don’t know even know the situation. I work with the guy everyday and he is disrespectful to everyone in general. Stop acting like you know everything and tell people to just “deal with it” like it’s that fuckin easy.

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doowgad1 t1_iuiw3q5 wrote

I had a supervisor like that a while back. I got a different guy to start a rumor that the boss hated me because of a gay love affair we’d had. Boss requested a transfer.

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1-Ohm t1_iui0m7t wrote

What? You completely missed the point OP was making.

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