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100LittleButterflies t1_j2aztkq wrote

I would say the opposite. That it was so common for your children to not survive infancy or survive beyond 5 that there didn't need to be a word. People used to not even name their child until after their first birthday. And a lot of cultures celebrate a child's birth months or years after the birth because they have survived long enough.

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space_cvnts OP t1_j2bx55l wrote

But I absolutely love what you said.

Even though it’s sad. but you know what I mean.

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TheAggromonster t1_j2e243s wrote

>People used to not even name their child until after their first birthday

I wasn't aware of this practice until I went through a few older graveyards looking for relatives. So many tiny gravestones marked "Baby (lastname)". A real eye opener.

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space_cvnts OP t1_j2bx1tt wrote

I mean it’s unnatural for a parent to outlive their children. Like … they’re born after us. like in that sense.

like it was never intended for a parent to live longer than their kid. Even if it did happen— it wasn’t supposed to.

Does that make sense?

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AnotherSteveFromNZ t1_j2bxyv2 wrote

Historically infant and childbirth deaths were very common. Only recently in human history has this changed, so there were no words developed for this incidence. It’s like how there is no words for people with two hands. It’s such a regular occurrence that it’s expected so there was never a need to develop vocabulary for it. We’re talking about A few hundred years ago.

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space_cvnts OP t1_j2dm3ls wrote

And isn’t it just something that’s natural. Which brings me back to losing a parent before a child is the natural way of things so there’s no word for it?

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AnotherSteveFromNZ t1_j2e8sk7 wrote

It wasn’t natural a couple of hundred years ago. The reverse was the case.

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space_cvnts OP t1_j2byrm3 wrote

But what about with widows and stuff? that was pretty common too.

And a person with two hands is called ambidextrous. Doesn’t it mean having two hands, having two hands that work equally well, etc

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Naive_Pay_7066 t1_j2dh940 wrote

Widow or widower is primarily used to describe marital status - single, married, divorced, widowed

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space_cvnts OP t1_j2dlxpx wrote

What? It describes a man or woman whose spouse has died and they haven’t remarried.

You are not a widow/er just because you haven’t married.

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space_cvnts OP t1_j2dlyo7 wrote

That’s what bachelor and bachelorette are for.

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100LittleButterflies t1_j2bz5wv wrote

I get what you're saying. And I agree.

I'm facing my parents' mortality and it feels wrong to have to survive the death of the only people you've known your whole life - who have known you through it all. Not unnatural just not fair. Though life has no obligation to fairness somehow that doesn't ease the pain.

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space_cvnts OP t1_j2c0059 wrote

My dads 64 and he’s my entire world. Besides my daughter. (He used to say I was his favorite, don’t tell my twin sister though, and now he says my daughter is— but like I know even though he calls and I answer and he’s like ‘oh. Hey wheres kp’ like my four year old will answer MY PHONE, he loves me the most. So it’s whatever) like he’s literally everything.

I honestly don’t know how I’ll survive. and he’s got health issues and I’m scared he’s not telling me so I don’t worry.

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MinniesWorld t1_j2dvhen wrote

If you have a good relationship with him, ask him questions and stories. And if he’s willing, record them. Ask him his favorite school memory, or about when you were born, or his first prom date. You have no idea how valuable the stories will be when you can no longer ask. And even better for a video that you can enjoy. The history of you is gone when your parents are gone, so whatever questions you want to ask about his past or yours-— now is the time.

I gave my father a blank journal, and I told him that anytime he thought of some piece of wisdom or a little anecdote that he wanted to share, he should write in it. He thought it was stupid at first, but then he really got into it, and I treasure it.

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