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Escuertol t1_j60gmzt wrote

I might bore them to death since I'm aphantasic and also lack any internal monologue. Have fun looking and listening to nothingness.

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NaditzuKokoro t1_j60jnzj wrote

How does that work exactly? Like do you always just say every single thing you've ever said without any forethought?

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Ethinolicbob t1_j61emyu wrote

There's always thought, but for me it's more like abstract data than an internal monologue.

For me personally I don't think I'm completely on that side of the spectrum but I did find it frustrating that I found it hard to engage in live conversation as it took me a while to convert thoughts to language.

This did lead to many people thinking me simple in my younger years.

I eventually compensated by memorising tons of scripts that I could use to engage in conversation which I use in day-to-day conversation and use it to buy time while I work out how to convert unscripted thoughts into language

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NaditzuKokoro t1_j61hl23 wrote

I can see why that would lead people to think you were a bit slow or simple as you put it. That's got to be hard to explain to your average adult as an adult, let alone with the vocabulary a normal child.

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Ethinolicbob t1_j61j48h wrote

To be fair I had no idea everyone wasn't like this until partway through secondary school.

Was learning another language and some of the class had spent a good amount of time overseas immersed in that language and came back saying their thoughts sometimes switched between languages.

To my confusion I asked how their thoughts had a voice which confused everyone else who didn't understand how thoughts couldn't have a voice

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Escuertol t1_j61z1iq wrote

For me, it works vastly differently from what the other guy wrote above. There is thought, I just don't hear my own voice "reading out loud" what I'm currently thinking, I just know that I'm thinking about it.

I've never had to memorize scripts for social interaction or anything like that, on the contrary, I'm a professor and I usually give my classes without much preparation, words just flow.

Aphantasia is a spectrum, so every experience will be different, some just don't see mental imagery, some don't have "mental smell", or hearing, or can't recreate physical sensations. I'm a total aphant so I don't have any of those, yet I still know what is red or how a truck sounds.

The best analogy I've seen is that of a PC that works perfectly fine, with its processor, its hard drive, graphics card and so on, it's just that the monitor is off.

Edit: I also lived until I was 25 without even knowing other people could do that in their minds. I still can't imagine how (pun intended)

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edbles t1_j62xb9p wrote

That sounds sort of like being in a state of flow constantly.

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Escuertol t1_j64o1zc wrote

Sooort of, it's not nearly as impressive as it sounds. Yeah I'm constantly "in the moment", but I too experience the flow state and it's quite different from my normal state of mind.

Some might argue they'd kill for being able to live in the present, but I'd kill to be able to play back my memories in my mind, instead of having a "list of things I've done" kind of memory.

All that being said, I did go through a depressive period when I realized this, but now I've come to see it in a different light.

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NaditzuKokoro t1_j635r4l wrote

I have that being able to just talk in a flow state as well. I used to do it high school when we had to give oral reports that didn't require handing anything in. These days it comes in handy with an argument or a debate.

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