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Peeche94 t1_j8lzdro wrote

Had a person with down syndrome visit a pub I worked at regularly, he would tell us all these mad stories that he was going to move to America and marry a spice girl and he was always cheerful and made jokes. Anyway, one day he invited about 8 of us that regularly spoke to him to his 40th birthday party, and to this day I have not enjoyed a party more. Hope you're doing well Alex!

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number96 t1_j8m8xfy wrote

Wow. I really love this story... Why was the party fun?

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Peeche94 t1_j8nr74g wrote

Sorry posted this before work, it was just wholesome, we all danced, his parents came over and thanked us for looking out for him in the pub and being his friend. Him and his friend then put on a dance show and yeah, it was just the Michael Scott wholesome meme the whole night, no dramas like other family gatherings and such aha.

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number96 t1_j8p3jdg wrote

I'm glad to hear this. I think I've always worried that people with certain disabilities must find it so difficult to make organic friends so I'm glad to hear an anecdote that disproves that...

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CoolioMcCool t1_j8mm20e wrote

I bet Alex had shitloads of cocaine.

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Font_Fetish t1_j8n1tej wrote

I was so ready for the ending to be that his 40th birthday party was in America, where you met his wife Victoria, who used to go by Posh Spice.

Thought it was just gunna be a long-winded way to call David Beckham regarded.

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Smokestack830 t1_j8n9bv7 wrote

The irony of using that word so casually and screwing up the spelling chefs kiss

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Font_Fetish t1_j8ncw6k wrote

… the spelling was intentional to avoid the comment getting flagged (it’s a regarded rule, but Reddit banned that word AFAIK).

You’re allowed to perceive whatever irony you think is there though.

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Smokestack830 t1_j8ndhzj wrote

Sure, I'll just think less of you for your lack of empathy and respect instead of for your spelling mistakes. Same result.

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Smith7929 t1_j8nesk6 wrote

You might be regarded bro

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Smokestack830 t1_j8ni3ms wrote

Ask the person with down syndrome how they feel about being referred to like that.

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Peeche94 t1_j8ns4sz wrote

I'm with you on this. The reason this post exists is because of people like them. I can assure you people like Alex are not dumb in the slightest, their brains just work differently.

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Smokestack830 t1_j8o4vhl wrote

Thanks. Its one thing to use that term at all, but for someone with down syndrome? Its been proven without a shadow of a doubt that people with down syndrome have the capacity for just about everything that the rest of us do. There is such a lack of empathy here its disgusting.

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Peeche94 t1_j8p1ixu wrote

On no, they fundamentally don't agree with what empathy means! In their own world like the rest of the ignorant fools.

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Harsimaja t1_j8p37kb wrote

A lot of people don’t realise how quickly the attitude to this word and its usage changed and come down on older folks for whom it was the kind, ‘technical’ term (and didn’t grow up with South Park…) too much like a tonne of bricks. But in this case the usage and intent are not nice at all…

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Font_Fetish t1_j8nh0gw wrote

Oh no, what will I ever do now that Smokestack830 thinks less of me! Absolutely gutted.

It’s wild to me that you think the use of a word, which used to be the scientifically correct term, indicates a lack of empathy or respect. This movement of acting like saying the word “regarded” or calling something “gay” makes you a bigot is insane.

I believe in human rights for all people and am fiercely progressive in my quest for those rights because I have empathy and respect for my fellow people. Progressives are inclusive, but we have NEVER been the ones in favor of censoring speech or policing what people can say (especially as part of humor), that is for the book-burning, nudity-censoring conservatives. You alienate people from the causes that really matter when you keep telling them what to say and feeding into the culture war distraction.

Me using that word hurt exactly zero people. I hope you enjoy your unearned feelings of moral superiority that you’ve just conjured for yourself though, you’re so brave and such an ally.

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Peeche94 t1_j8ntqdj wrote

Using the terms Gay and Regarded in those ways is derogatory, that's why they're "censored" for use in that way.

You're not empathetic. One day you will be and realise how bad you were, everyone goes through it at some point, just others take longer to develop.

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Font_Fetish t1_j8o5yeq wrote

I guess I fundamentally disagree with you on what empathy is then.

These are words used for humor and self-expression, they are not causing harm to be done to any individual or group. They just feel a little uncomfortable to you because you’ve been conditioned to feel offended on behalf of others who didn’t ask for it. That’s not empathy. That’s a savior complex.

It’s not like it’s the n-word with an actual history of dehumanization and horrors beyond our comprehension. It’s an outdated medical term that is used colloquially to mean that something is dumb. Sorry I didn’t account for your sensitivity and say “mentally disabled” or “handicapped,” which honestly sound way more offensive and ableist to me.

Thank you for sharing your moral superiority with the class, I’m sure you’re beyond reproach.

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Peeche94 t1_j8p0yw0 wrote

Lmao ok buddy.

Empathy: the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

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Smokestack830 t1_j8nhtil wrote

Wow lmao. You act like my comment hasn't phased you at all and then you type up this novel? Well done xD

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Font_Fetish t1_j8ni98f wrote

I said that your opinion of me has no importance to me. Doesn’t mean I can’t explain my perspective on this discussion after your attack on my character.

Glad to see your well-thought-out rebuttal to all of the points I made though. Still just attacking the person because the foundations of your opinions are weak.

If 3 short paragraphs is equivalent to reading a novel for you, that would go a long way toward explaining your difficulties with critical thought. Hopefully this one wasn’t too long for you to read as well.

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Vengefuleight t1_j8nkkqc wrote

I would have really enjoyed this.

The real story is more wholesome, but your version made my day.

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SpicyFriedChickenTHC t1_j8neqtv wrote

Man my 40th is next month and all I want to do is spend it alone. You are great dude Internet stranger. Hope Alex is doing well also.

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Peeche94 t1_j8nrh7o wrote

Yeah he did tell us a story about his hood days too ;)

I always want to spend my birthday alone too, no idea why. He is doing fine, bumped into him a few months ago when we went back to the city for an evening, which was a great coincidence.

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msty2k t1_j8p3994 wrote

I have a kid with DS and I can attest that there ain't no party like a Down syndrome party.

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BAT123456789 t1_j8lnkam wrote

So, I was raised with Down's people around regularly. They are kind, sweet, loyal people who are well worth having as friends. There is one in particular who went to my school who my mother taught, who we run into about once a year. He's a good guy, kind, loving, hard working. I always give him a a hug and ask how he's doing. I am realistic and honest with him. Honestly, he is my friend, as close as about anyone I knew from high school. The honest truth is, he kept a job through a major recession and has done pretty well for himself. I hope it means something to him for me to say such things, that he has honestly done better than the majority of those we went to school with. Sure, he need help, who doesn't? I know I do. All I can say is that even those with such disabilities can work hard and do pretty well in life. That's the sort of thing that makes me happy, and happy to call them my friend. My mother asks me to do her a favor and say hi, but it is absolutely no favor to take a few with a good dude I knew from high school and am happy to see again.

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alpha_rat_fight_ t1_j8l7fa1 wrote

She said she even got responses as far away as Australia and London. There are good men out there ❤️

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tossme68 t1_j8l9sci wrote

I think people fail to realize how deep the bench really is and that there are lots of people not only willing but wanting to help people but they are never asked. I'm glad this young man has someone to play video games and hang out with.

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somuchstrange t1_j8n4ir5 wrote

Where would one go to ask for help? In my experience the internet makes fun or ignores it. I just made it through winter without turning my heat on because I have no income thanks to long covid. I don't want money, just friends and people to talk to. I don't recommend not turning on the heat or having almost no one to talk to for three years. My now ex boyfriend thought it wasn't fair that his girlfriend was so sick so he ghosted me after five years. I've got some stories to tell lol! He still hasn't told me anything and it's been a year since he apparently moved out. I still live with his stuff, but I won't be selling his expensive fish stuff. I love that fish get wiggle-butt when it's feeding time 😆 it's adorable!

But really, with no money, where would one go to make friends and not be lonely? I know the mother in the article used money, but if someone doesn't have any family or an income because bootstraps (I'm in the U.S.) how does this get fixed? Maybe it would be easier outside of St Louis? Or the Midwest? Neither are options for me but can someone post a flyer in a supermarket and not get creeps/creepy responses? 😅

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Great_Hamster t1_j8n8irm wrote

I think the son having downs or something helped this work without leaving the house. Are you able to get out?

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somuchstrange t1_j8nhu9s wrote

Get out...side? Sometimes. I would be more comfortable if someone could take walks with me because I'm quite sick and if I need help getting back home I don't have to hold back tears from the pain and drag myself home. Being sick is exhausting. I've also lost a lot of weight and I don't have much I can wear that will stay on me. My friend bought me some leggings that fit, but I don't like the look of leggings so I'm really uncomfortable leaving the house in them. I finally asked my ex a week ago if he had any jeans etc that are too small so I have one pair of jeans that stay up now, but I think the zipper falls down so I have to remember to check that lol. We still say very few words to each other. I also don't recommend skipping meals whether sick or not. Some people have no choice, though

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bubbleyum92 t1_j8n8djz wrote

I don't have any answers for you but I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time! No heat in a MO winter? Yikes! I lived in NW Arkansas for 26 years, those winters can be brutal. I'm glad you made it, though. I'm not sure if it's easier outside of the Midwest. I moved 4 years ago to the PNW and I like it better but I have no friends, just my sister and bf and live with parents. 4 years being unemployed and hardly ever leaving the house due to fear of covid...it gets depressing sometimes for sure! I feel like there could be more opportunities to make friends here just bc I grew up in a small town and when there's nothing to do, how do you meet people you know? But it's been 4 years and I still don't have any new friends so...I sometimes think I stick out as obviously not being from this area and that can make it harder to connect, almost like we're speaking different languages at times. People up here are a lot more aloof. Not in a rude way, but they just seem less interested in talking to strangers and perhaps more guarded? I just think after you leave high school it gets harder and harder to make friends.

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somuchstrange t1_j8ngxia wrote

I lived in King County for almost three years (Seattle for outsiders) and made friends who also came from the Midwest and they couldn't make friends up there either. The Seattle freeze is harsh. They love people not from the U.S. but if you're from any of the 50 states then you're a transplant (never heard that as a term for humans) and you should try moving to _(any city they come up with) because you'll like it better there as if it's an option to just move somewhere. One of the people I made friends with said she got along well with someone at a party, tried to exchange contact info (both had partners, it was obviously for a friendship) and the seattleite said "I have enough friends, I don't need any more." Hated it there. All of WA us not like that, though. I don't know if it's still happening but seattleites were having trouble getting hired in other WA cities because of their awful behavior. The one thing they have going for them is that they will stand up for injustices of others in other states...just don't have those people move there to Seattle lol

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bubbleyum92 t1_j9jb9i4 wrote

Oh wow that's a bummer! We recently visited Seattle for a few days and loved it. I actually had a nice convo in line for a donut place which was definitely unusual haha

Yes, I've heard the condescending "transplants" term a lot. I get why people are afraid of outsiders ruining their cities, but it's just inevitable that people are going to move there. I mean, when I left AR we were having our own influx of transplants (although they're usually called Yankees back home lol) and I have no idea why people would want to live there! But it's easy to see why people would be drawn to places like Portland and Seattle.

Seeing all the BLM and pride flags in almost every business or home was pretty cool, though. They're good people just not very social. Hell, I'm that way most of the time lol

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Joka0451 t1_j8m1q48 wrote

Aussie disability worker here. Fuck8ng LOVE my job. Everyone deserves to be happy.

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Cfhudo t1_j8m2yvk wrote

Yep a lot of the time this is basically the job. Can be great.

The thing in this scenario is he doesn't know they are being payed to be there. It creates a position where if they can't do the work, then he's going to lose his only friends.

I don't know what disability support sector is like where they are but this story is very far from ideal.

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imhereforthemeta t1_j8n0elx wrote

This is like my family! My brother is disabled and struggles to connect with folks. He took a liking to a server at steak and shake who was uniquely great with him and my mom started paying her to hang with him once a week. She’s never been trained in disability care but she’s honestly just got all of that kindness and patience naturally. She’s been with our family about 10 years now and we exchange Christmas gifts and stuff as well. Great lady and really just working miracles with my brother who can be quite lonely

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Bacon_Bitz t1_j8n7m2l wrote

I'm sure your brother & your family bring a lot to her life as well!

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[deleted] t1_j8l8oe5 wrote

Faith in humanity restored. If even for just a moment.

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VeryOriginalName98 t1_j8lf5sx wrote

However fleeting the moments, with enough of them, the faith can seem continuous.

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[deleted] t1_j8likm4 wrote

I love this.

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VeryOriginalName98 t1_j8ljzca wrote

Cool. Just popped into my head when I read your comment. I almost didn't post it. Glad you appreciated it.

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wokeoldster t1_j8ler9k wrote

I tutor people w all kinds of disabilities: they are all absolutely wonderful, refreshing, kind, and funny. I’d take 90% of them over some of my able-bodied friends.

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Bludongle t1_j8lssbc wrote

People just need to know they are not out there alone.
Those of us who have the wherewithal need to remember that there are those out there who could benefit from our "access" and understanding.

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wol t1_j8mu8k6 wrote

The lady at work with down syndrome always says hello back to me as we pass in the halls. There's been a few bad days where it cheered me up. I'm always surprised how many people won't so when I see her coming I know I'm always gonna get a sincere enthusiastic hello back!

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AtouchAhead t1_j8mp268 wrote

If you’re in Denver/ Englewood on South Broadway check out Brewabilities and I’ll bet you meet someone equally as cool as this fellow.

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spacebar_dino t1_j8pdklo wrote

If you ever visit Richmond, VA, there are some awesome restaurants staffed by people with disabilities. My cousin used to work at one.

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SecondOfCicero t1_j8pn74o wrote

my cousin did too! he worked at pizza hut for many, many years and they loved having him around as much as he loved being there.

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spacebar_dino t1_j8png9i wrote

Oh, that is awesome! My cousin worked at a restaurant that was started by a parent who wanted to make sure his daughter and people like her would be employed. They employ people with physical and mental disabilities

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Almc27 t1_j8nf2ej wrote

I live in a different state now but used to live in Englewood so I was very curious about this place. I googled it and it looks so cool, if I was still there I would definitely frequent this place

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Cibico99 t1_j8mife2 wrote

We need government funded programs for this gs like this. Elderly, special needs, or even regular ppl, would be nice if we had some sort of structure society programs, instead of "get money or die".

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wolfgang784 t1_j8my3yy wrote

Sorta like that Big Brother program for kids without dad's/good role models but for people with downs/other mental handicaps?

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Cibico99 t1_j8o6c2k wrote

Yea exactly, this is a great story but I hate that it relies on the goodness and availablity of people. Why can't the government pay these ppl to do this all the time???

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Muellercleez t1_j8lmnxa wrote

Big love to these guys and their new buddy

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Sector__7 t1_j8mjpff wrote

The strangers were paid alright. They were paid with the kindness from the man with down syndrome.

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HarlotsWebb t1_j8n3oig wrote

I cannot imagine how heavy hate must feel on your heart if you have anything negative to say about this or anyone with a disability for that matter. People matter. This is beautiful and I hope he continues to make more friends

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Kylo76 t1_j8l88p1 wrote

This is the absolute best!

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mothjitsu t1_j8m7ipo wrote

Amazing. Remember to reach out, someone out there cares.

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thecartoonrobot t1_j8n6nq9 wrote

When I was a kid my mom did home health care for people with developmental disabilities. I made a lot of friends that are still in my life today. I would 100% be friends with this guy.

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Last_Brother4662 t1_j8nsy35 wrote

It’s sad she felt the need to ask in the first place. That being said, I love the end result of her seeing a need with her child and being willing to ask for help from others. And dang! Others responded in the best way possible! It’s moments and stories like this that I love seeing!

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ImperiumInfernalis t1_j8n93mc wrote

When I was younger I was troubled, and not very good in school, so I got put in Special Ed for all of my classes. The Downs Syndrome kids were always super nice to me, hardly ever a negative thing to say about anything. People are people, but the guys who chose to be friends with this guy in the story are amazing human beings.

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msty2k t1_j8p3pee wrote

FYI for all - there is an international organization called Best Buddies that matches typical people with people with disabilities to include them. It started in high schools, but it is expanding to the adult level. Anyone who wants to volunteer with them should go to bestbuddies.org.

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rovertb t1_j8p666w wrote

Yall would be amazed how many people are in this position and how many kids are just lonely with no friends, mostly cuz there's no where for them to go and meet friends.

All the world offers is bars...

And a vast majority of the time they are not handicap inclusive...

I wish more people would spend time with people who need friends, they're just lonely and looking for basic companionship.

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maybe_a_frog t1_j8pwrxs wrote

I actually tried to contact the mom to see if I could do this but I didn’t get a response. I guess this is why! Glad to hear so many people were down for that.

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SluttyNeighborGal t1_j8q92hd wrote

Ha that happened in my city in a fb group I’m a member of. Nice to see this story get so much coverage and shine a light on how lonely so many of us are- DS or not

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dappernaut77 t1_j8pq4t5 wrote

A girl in my third grade class had down syndrome and I wish I couldve gotten to know her better because after third grade she moved away.

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heavywether t1_j8pymks wrote

People with down syndrome are always the kindest people you'll meet, just like a never ending well good vibes. Sometimes I'm honestly jealous of that ability to keep such a positive outlook

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JoyfulExmo t1_j8q0a0e wrote

I love this for that dude and his grandparents. Loneliness is a scourge on our society. I hope everyone has at least 1 friend they can play games with a couple times a month.

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TopTheropod t1_j8mwip5 wrote

This is one of the best things I've heard in a while ❤

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Ima_douche_nozzle t1_j8mzv4x wrote

I’m not crying, it’s just raining from my eyes.

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exodominus t1_j8n3v6c wrote

I remember seeing her advertisement a while back

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Rocksteady2090 t1_j8nhdl8 wrote

Things like this keep my hope alive for the human race.

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World_Citizen_3 t1_j8odsgg wrote

Who the fuck put these onions in my room?!

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StinkyCheeseMe t1_j8uibbd wrote

My dear Aunt had Down’s syndrome. She was wonderful, quirky, silly, spirited …We grew up spending lots of time together but had considerable age differences which didn’t matter. This story tugs at my heart. She loved life and lived a long one given her circumstances. Life was better then. The good ole days of my youth. Sending Love

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amybpdx t1_j8x7zji wrote

Good job, humans!!

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kibblet t1_j8xc88j wrote

My son never had friends until he moved into a group home. I guess his roommates are his friends.

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evilpercy t1_j8xmfk4 wrote

We call this respite. Here, there is an organization for this.

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Argonometra t1_j8ms6jv wrote

There are safeties and guarantees with transactional relationships that random strangers cannot provide. A lot of manipulators start off by acting "friendly" to lure in victims.

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thataintfunkedelic t1_j8nbzow wrote

Im glad she asked, and I'm so happy they delivered. We don't say it (we should) but a lot of us need a friend just like him.

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Goober97 t1_j8nhnbu wrote

This is great but a 65 inch TV is too big for a bedroom come on guys

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gobsmacked247 t1_j8mf8zj wrote

Now that's how you Reddit!!!

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The_Dynasty_Group t1_j8my1cv wrote

Wow! That’s the most insidious wicked low someone has done. They conned someone with an explicit disability and extreme disadvantage compared to an average individual and yet they still head hunted the poor guy like a hawk praying on him with the usual threats of eternally being tortured in horrific unbearable and even totally beyond capable of being able to withstand the atrocities you will bear witness to then further gaslight him by adding he’s actually gonna make the promise to come spend time with him up in heaven? Wow. Just wow. I thought the Nigerians claiming to be a state representative for their country and are bringing a package of absolutely nothing but pure American money 24million dollars worth in fact all they need is for you to pay the taxes and clearance fees so they can receive the money to be able to give it to you. So send them 35,000 at their specific Venmo or probably even actually just wire it if all else failed them. I however love to offer personal checks that I inform them well in advance that I post date each and every single check I write so it’s not able to clear until two full months have elapsed since sending or spending said check in which case I then put a green check mark next to the monetary amount in My ledger indicating the time specified has elapsed and the check is now ready to be cleared. I then tell them I’m all out of stamps to be able to mail it out to them and I buy My stamps in extreme bulk amounts of only strictly FOREVER STAMPS only so I’ll need them to first send Me 40,000 to My Venmo in order to get My necessary stamps and mail the kind man out his freshly inked post dated personal check and I can just bet he’ll be the talk of his entire village being the only guy they ever met to receive an official post dated personal check you lucky dog. But man are these Christians hitting below the belt now

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cyber_dude t1_j8lv31y wrote

I wonder how much it costed her after

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Ragondux t1_j8m69qj wrote

The article says many people offered to do it without payment, and some even gave them a flat screen and snacks, so presumably it cost her nothing.

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Trolodrol t1_j8ne277 wrote

I think the point of the article was that people were kind enough to be his friend without some sort of hidden agenda

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suresh t1_j8nh5tx wrote

For how long though? In the FB she mentioned that payment is not optional because people in the past have stopped visiting eventually.

I think it'd take someone who actually really likes hanging out with him, not someone willing to do it just to be nice and do a good thing because that isn't going to last forever.

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Trolodrol t1_j8nlsgp wrote

Yeah, I get what you’re saying. Hopefully they can get him connected with someone that will truly be a friend for him. I know how hard it is to make friends when you get older

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