Reminder: this subreddit is meant to be a place free of excessive cynicism, negativity and bitterness. Toxic attitudes are not welcome here.

All Negative comments will be removed and will possibly result in a ban.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Hi Mom,

It will be 13 years this June since you left us. I still think of you every day. None of us have been the same since that day. I’m not sure what price I would pay just to spend one more day with you. You were our spirit and our glue.

You were Christmas. When we were kids you made Christmas special for us. You loved seeing the happiness in our faces. When we became adults, what made Christmas for us was seeing the happiness in your face. We still get together and exchange gifts but it has never felt like Christmas. We didn’t celebrate for a few years.

We miss your cooking. We miss your pies and cookies. We miss your laugh. We miss just picking up the phone to talk to you.

I have never been to your grave. I’m sorry. It still hurts too much. I think if I went there it would tear me apart. I know you aren’t really there.

That last year was hard for you. In the end, breathing just became too difficult. We were very sad when you decided to stop treatment. We are forever grateful to you for sparing us from making that decision. I’m not a believer but I know you were. You believed you were going to see Jesus and Dad. I hope you did.

Wherever you are, even if it is only in my memories, I hope you are at peace.

Love you, always.

[deleted]

This sounds like it could be helpful to people struggling with loss but a lot of this article doesn't sound healthy.

"He sends signs, Laura believes: Dolphins splashing at sunset. A turtle waddling across the grass. His favorite bluesman, Buddy Guy, playing at his favorite fast food joint, Chick-fil-A. On her birthday one year, in a photo her husband took, a glowing green orb appeared on her cheek “like a kiss.”

This reads like a conspiracy theorist justifying aliens. Go to a psychologist before you do something like this, please.

Thought this story sounded familiar, read the article and sure enough she based it off the Japanese dude who did the same thing. Hope this becomes a trend, I think it would help a lot of people.

Those were her own words. She believes she gets little reminders from him throughout her life. (She recognizes the stuff and it gives her a happy thought, as if he sent it to her). The telephone thing is cathartic and helps you feel relief and kind of let’s you release some of the pent up stuff that it feels like can’t be gotten rid of. This helps people imagine that they’re speaking with their loved one and getting relief, even if they don’t literally get a response. It’s like writing a nasty letter to someone and then throwing it away, just for the catharsis of getting the words out

This is absolutely heartbreaking. I can imagine exactly what she’s thinking

This made me tear up. I’m moving back to England to spend more time with my family and reading this helps solidify that it’s the correct decision.

Sorry for your loss.

[removed]

Not every method works for everyone. Exposure therapy works wonders for some but can be disastrous for others. That's why I said you should check with a psychologist first. It's great if it works but those are not the words of someone dealing with this well.

This American Life did a in-depth episode on the one in Japan. It includes some of the recorded calls, presumably with permission.

https://www.thisamericanlife.org/597/one-last-thing-before-i-go-2016

I recently read a novel based on the Japanese one. It's heartbreaking but a really good read, titled "The Phone Booth at the Edge of the World"

That’s the words of someone who believes in an afterlife for their loved one, and is still grieving in their own way. Sure, it doesn’t make sense when you take something like religion or belief in an afterlife out of it, but that’s what a belief is. She’s not hurting anyone over it, and it seems to give her relief to look for things to remind her of him

Jesus fucking Christ. Tell me who she's hurting by believing in an afterlife. I know if my husband dies before me I'd rather fucking kill myself than live in a world without any trace of him.

Never said she was hurting anyone, I was worried she was hurting herself. She already said her first thought was to kill herself so she could be with him. What happens if she gets one of those "signs" that she should do exactly that?

This is why I keep suggesting seeing a psychologist, we are not professionals, pretending we know what is best for her beyond that is insane.

[removed]

No need to see a psychologist if it's harmless.

You don’t know if it’s harmless, you’re not a psychologist either.

How would it be harmful?

She already said her very first thought was to kill herself. Spiraling down a path where you think your dead son is talking to you may end with her creating a conversation where he "tells" her to die and be with him. That's probably not likely, but it's entirely possible. There are plenty of other bad situations that could come from the psychosis of truly believing a dead person is talking to you.

Again, I don't know if all that is true, which is why I keep suggesting a psychologist deals with this, not us, not some random person making a phone booth in a park.