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Aemirah t1_jc6r6ej wrote

No more bale outs.

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iMoosker t1_jc6sycq wrote

Those cows must be udderly grateful.

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ASDFzxcvTaken t1_jc6u1nw wrote

Milking it.

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iMoosker t1_jc6vtg0 wrote

Listen all I'm saying is those cows must have been mooved by people's generosity.

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Yaroze t1_jc80zil wrote

I do enjoy a good beefy pun now and then.

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iStayedAtaHolidayInn t1_jc7tevs wrote

You win the internet today. Now take my dirty fucking upvote and get out of my sight

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T00luser t1_jc6r7rg wrote

I'm not a cow, and I'm not particularly stranded.

but man I could go for an emergency drop of some wonton soup with extra pork dumplings.

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Sam-Gunn t1_jc745xi wrote

"Base to Heifer Actual, Confirm ETA to target."

"Base, we are 3 min out from target. Visibility is less than 2 miles, we are mainly flying on instruments. Contact ground elements to advise them we're coming in on heading three-one-zero, and to start popping flares. We're prepped and ready for drop."

"Confirmed, Heifer Actual. Good luck."

[switches channel]

"All units in the AO, be advised. Heifer Actual on approach to target, three minutes out, on heading three-one-zero. Bravo unit, your elements are danger-close to the target. Repeat, Bravo unit, your elements are danger-close to the target. Drop flares and take cover."

"Bravo Actual here base, be advised we have civilians in the drop-zone. Repeat, civilians are in the drop zone. They refuse to move."

[cow bellowing in background, soldiers heard yelling]

"Understood, Bravo Actual. Heifer Actual, Heifer Actual, you are instructed to wave off and come around for another pass. Confirm transmission."

"Heifer ac... to... b... do you rea.... *ksssshhhh* do... read... repeat instruc..."

"Heifer Actual, wave off! Wave off!

[Two days later]

"Commander, normally after action reports are simply a formality for these types of operations. However upon reading yours I noticed a reference to 'hay-bale related civilian casualties'. Explain the meaning of this!"

"Sir, yes, sir. Due to the weather, we could not contact Heifer One to tell them to wave off. The drop zone was not clear as several civilians had wandered into the area and refused to move."

"Cows, Commander. COWS. Not civilians! You don't put the term 'civilian casualties' into a report when there weren't any! That sends up all sorts of red flags! Dear god, first you take out a Humvee with a hay bale, now this... We're the only unit that's had to provide a damage report for a humanitarian operation!"

"I understand, Sir... I'm also picking up that now may be a bad time to tell you about our new mascot..."

[mooing is heard down the hall]

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[deleted] t1_jca8q4r wrote

Are you a scriptwriter?? Wow

3

Sam-Gunn t1_jcab7f4 wrote

I was bored yesterday and wanted to tell a joke. It got a little out of hand.

2

Hyashi t1_jc6uve5 wrote

Farmers really can get the government to do anything for them.

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Bacon_Bitz t1_jc7atfj wrote

They're going to make insurance claims for all the cows they lost too.

On the other hand, as an animal lover, I'm just glad the cows are getting fed.

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Coonhound420 t1_jc7yx3l wrote

Getting fed so fellow “animal lovers” can consume said cows.

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PussyWrangler_462 t1_jc8p9jh wrote

I certainly love how they taste

^....says ^the ^person ^who ^works ^at ^an ^animal ^hospital

10

gringo1980 t1_jc7styk wrote

I mean, I’d much rather see the government helping our nations food supply than banks and Wall Street

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Allmightydohllah t1_jc76frr wrote

The same assholes who like to think of themselves as rugged individuals who pull themselves by their own bootstraps. Wait til you hear about Sunkist being a farmer co-op and a successful one at that

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Jironobou t1_jc7imte wrote

This reminds me of an old post about pet fish that was along the lines of "imagine that you're chilling and it just starts raining food"

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pmgregor t1_jc6byag wrote

gif

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goofgoon t1_jc6irob wrote

You found the perfect gif to respond to cows getting emergency hay!

11

Martholomeow t1_jc8je1r wrote

That is truly uplifting. They saved those cows from something beyond anyone’s control. So many stories about humans saving animals from the problems we ourselves caused them, but this one is different. Thanks for posting

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calis t1_jc8agb6 wrote

Thinking of the commercials that claim happy cows come from California....

7

7788audrey t1_jc8460z wrote

GOP in No-CAL will whine - how dare anyone contact a Fed agency and they actually helped - oh no.

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HalloweenBlkCat t1_jc8lwcy wrote

Wouldn’t want them to die before you kill them, after all.

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Southernpalegirl t1_jc8v9fi wrote

You would rather they starved to death on a snowy mountain? Aren’t you just a warm and fuzzy person.

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wozblar t1_jc8d87u wrote

monetarily interested parties spend money to save food investments

2

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1

EveryChair8571 t1_jc8ltmj wrote

Check out the videos on YouTube for the winter storm of 49’

1

VealOfFortune t1_jc9c6di wrote

More than the PEOPLE in Ohio have received since February 3rd. 🤢

1

cytherian t1_jca4vsn wrote

Cow #1: "The Gods must like us."

Cow #2: "Then why, the snow?"

Cow #1: "Shaddup and eat!"

1

Th3TruthIs0utTh3r3 t1_jc81cws wrote

So once again private farmers are getting bailed out by the tax payers?

Aren't these the same farmers that always complain about big government telling them what they can and can't do on public lands?

−2

ASubtleDerp t1_jc7ml1w wrote

Why can't they just put the stranded cows in the plane?

−5

Yaroze t1_jc8199e wrote

They're reserved for the snakes.

4