You must log in or register to comment.

Journeyantesdesserts t1_jc8rl7b wrote

Duck (left swipe)… duck (left swipe)… GOOSE!


roxx1811 t1_jc9q4kq wrote

Badger. Badger. Badger. Badger. Badger. Badger. Mushroom, mushroom!


Rainglasses t1_jc9vqzv wrote

Ah.... I feel the joy I felt as a kid watching the OG videos. Lol 🤩


Konradleijon t1_jc9w4c8 wrote

We do duck duck Grey duck where I’m from


guinader t1_jcaywvp wrote

Probably should be "down" swipe like.... "Duck" swipe


Arrow_to_the_knee1 t1_jc8heww wrote

Who's the lucky duck


immaownyou t1_jc8zx6j wrote

That's racist


apathetic-drunk t1_jc9aixj wrote

Oh, so you're good at racing? Name every race.


cthuluhooprises t1_jc9bbky wrote

Bahrain, Jeddah, Melbourne, Baku, Miami, Imola, Monaco, Barcelona, Canada, Austria, Silverstone, Hungary, Spa, Zandvoort, Monza, Singapore, Suzuka, Qatar, COTA, Mexico, Interlagos, Las Vegas, Abu Dhabi


blauwkoekje t1_jc9u6qa wrote

You forgot the race that starts with an N and ends in an R and has six letters.



Jexpler t1_jcajx21 wrote

I only see one race, the human ra-" slaps "What about Nascar?"


Pandepon t1_jcb0p0m wrote

I think you meant to say “that’s fowl”.


MrWapuJapu t1_jc9uvpj wrote

I don’t know why you got so many downvotes, I guess people didn’t get your joke.


LadyAsharaRowan t1_jc8tbcr wrote

If you ever get a chance, read up on these animals. They are monogamous for life. If their significant other gets sick during the migration season, they will not migrate and leave them. If they die, they will not leave their bodies. I actually saw this happen at my job. It's what made me go down the research rabbit hole. It was so sad. I'm surprised they were able to find it another mate.


avoidance_behavior t1_jc8yv4i wrote

not geese, but related: probably fifteen years ago I lived in the guesthouse at my parents' place bc they charged minimal rent for my own separate spot, and the door was a sliding glass situation. one afternoon a mourning dove flew into the glass, which is unfortunately not uncommon when the sun is at the right angle and they can't tell it's not a way through. the poor thing hit the door so hard that it died very shortly after impact; I barely had time to get up from my seat and go see what the commotion was when it slumped and died right on my welcome mat. before I could figure what to do, its mate flew down next to it and laid its head down on the deceased bird and I swear on all that you may or may not believe is holy, it died right there after a few moments of laying still. the other bird didn't hit the glass at all but the only thing I can think happened is that it just gave up knowing its mate was gone. to this day it's one of the saddest but fucked-uppedly sweetest things I've ever seen. I actually cried.


LadyAsharaRowan t1_jc92z0x wrote

I totally believe that it died on the spot from a broken heart.

So where I work at the entire building is glass and it's a tall building. The geese hit the glass windows and landed on one of the patios. It's mate was just walking back and forth circling around it. I totally get crying about it. Like I said it sent me down the research rabbit hole to understand them better.

We have a lot of geese near my building. They have those sound machines that actually try to deter them from landing in the pond nearby, but it doesn't really do much of anything.


000f89 t1_jc9j1a4 wrote

Your building should look into bird-safe films to stick on the glass. The birds will see it and understand they can’t fly through. It can save so many bird lives!


Aalnius t1_jcb55hc wrote

i dunno birds be dumb my bedroom window is super dirty at the moment but it doesn't seem to stop birds scaring the absolute shit out of me every now and again by just flying full pelt into it.


BokononWave t1_jcb6llq wrote

Solid (opaque) elements on windows do work, even if it's dirty it can reflect the sky or nearby trees. If you'd like to reduce the jump scares there are stickers you can put on the glass!


Aalnius t1_jcb770b wrote

its a council owned property and ill hopefully be moving out soon. So for now ill handle the spontaneous heart health check ups by the birds.


If_In_Doubt_Lick_It t1_jcb7ffk wrote

Birds can see light in the uv spectrum. There are films and repellants you can apply that fluoresce to them in daylight. So they can see it and we can not.

Its a fun research dive. Theres a lot of birds that have uv reactive markings that we cannot see on them, but they can.


summonsays t1_jc9kdzn wrote

My great uncle basically died the same way. He was this mountain of a man, farmer, gave off that vibe that he could break you in half with a pinky if he wanted. But he was always the nicest guy and his wife was probably the sweetest person I've ever met. We used to go up to their house every Thanksgiving (8 hour drive). His wife developed brain cancer and died. We went up to visit him maybe a month after it happened. He was in a care home. He didn't really respond to us and he probably weighed 60 pounds. Skin and bones, just waiting to die. He died the next week. That's my "sweet but fucked up" story.


000f89 t1_jc9iy36 wrote

If your parents still have the guesthouse, they can stick bird-safe films on their glass. The birds will see it and understand they can’t fly through. It can save so many bird lives! Glass kills a staggering amount of birds each year.


avoidance_behavior t1_jc9k29r wrote

my dad has since taken to hanging up old cd's and dvd's on strings by windows and doors. the flashing and glinting has seemed to help keep the bird strikes to a minimum. poor things.


000f89 t1_jcb4cn7 wrote

Good for your dad! That’s great.


pinkjello t1_jc9bwcv wrote

I kept waiting for this to be a copypasta, but then it wasn’t. I wish it were. That was sad.


InGenAche t1_jc9mi4z wrote

When you read something like this then realise that T-Rex arms were so short they probably couldn't hold hands.


Durago t1_jcc8bmw wrote

Maybe they could stand next to each other


Tobias_Atwood t1_jcbimlz wrote

I was working a job in the upper floor of an extremely old ass building that had a bunch of different roof access points. This apparently made it a prime shelter for the local pigeons because every time I worked that site there were always at least a few hanging around.

One day I went up there and saw a trio of pigeons off in the corner. Two of them were walking around, not doing much beyond sticking close to the third one. The third one I thought was already dead. It looked old and sick and was so still and unmoving. The only reason I knew it was still alive was because it would occasionally adjust it's feet to get more comfortable.

I worked that site for several hours and through all that time the two other pigeons never left the side of their sick friend. Eventually the sick pigeon looks like it has some kind of pigeon seizure, dramatically falling onto it's side and flopping around. Almost as soon as it started it stops, and the pigeon goes still again.

I just watched a pigeon stroke out and die before my very eyes.

It's two friends inspect it for a moment before going towards the nearest chimney and flying up and out.

It always struck me how they stuck with it to the very end.

Pigeon solidarity.


AlwaysInTheFlowers t1_jc9z1ya wrote

Similar situation happened at my grandparents years ago. Poor bird definitely wasn't going to make it.... in retrospect this wasn't the best idea but I just laid there in the grass with it stroking it's head for a few minutes saying calming things to it before it finally passed. I made sure it was actually dead (I called game and fish and they said there was nothing they could do either) and then I gently buried it in their garden and planted a sunflower over it and gave it a little funeral.


TheSunflowerSeeds t1_jc9z2ta wrote

There are two main types of sunflower crops. One type is grown for the seeds you eat, while the other — which is the majority farmed — is grown for the oil.


Doyouevenpedal t1_jc9z9ov wrote

Wth man, I'm not trying to be sitting on my couch at 3am ugly crying, but thanks to you I am.


Ixium5 t1_jc97vkl wrote

Know an animal rescuer in southern states that loves Canada geese. I spent a fair amount of time helping her out. Grabbing ones with broken wings or fishing line on them or whatever in order to get fixed. Or when some idiot tries to run down a flock in a car and hits a few.

They grieve so much they actually cry. It’s super depressing.

The mate will attack you with all they have if you grab their mates. They don’t know you’re trying to help.

Sometimes she has to send them away if the problem is bad enough. Always tries to get them back to the same flock when she releases them. Got the chance to do it a few times with her. We drove 5 hours to grab a repaired goose. It was the happiest I’ve ever seen this rescuer. She said “this is why I love doing this even if I have to deal with all the shitty times” and when we released the ex-injured bird back the mate comes running and quacking and they rub all over each other.

Truly awesome.


IAmA_Nerd_AMA t1_jc9am57 wrote

After hearing what assholes ducks are about mating I wonder how a cousin species can be so wholesome... Swans and penguins too, right? (That was one of reddits viral moments with the girlfriend crying tears of joy about Swan love)

Maybe they can teach that to their duck bros? Explain in quacks that this is why nobody rescues, rehabs, and reunites ducks.


wtf--dude t1_jc9k7fi wrote

I mean, you have both kinds in another single species, humans


IAmA_Nerd_AMA t1_jc9mgba wrote

Just being funny. I liked hearing about wholesome geese, it painted a much prettier picture than the untitled goose game. Maybe that was an incel goose.

For a serious answer I'll say with humans: yes we have both but instinct no longer applies, with us it's a choice. That's why we have a great social respect for lifetime partnerships: The choice took mental strength to uphold. It would be different if our DNA forced all of us to be monogamous...or rapists...or whatever cats are.


YayPepsi t1_jca8u52 wrote

At my old apartment there were these two geese who had their eggs on the lawn. They were just sitting there, not bothering anyone or going near anyone. Then some lady saw them and started freaking out like they were going to attack her. She picked up her puppy and was backing away and yelling for help while the geese never got up from their nest. Her freak out was for no reason.

Eventually management got involved. They chased the geese and one woman smashed their eggs. Animal control came and tried to catch them, but only managed to catch one and took it away. It was so sad. The goose who was left behind spent days searching for their mate.


ForgottenPercentage t1_jcb1nqm wrote

Th saddest thing I've seen was a goose standing beside their dead partner that got hit by a vehicle on the highway. It was just standing there honking the saddest honks ive ever heard.

Just remembering it makes me sad. That poor goose.


KayleighJK t1_jc9m036 wrote

I thought they were exaggerating with the article but damn


Tobias_Atwood t1_jc8jxna wrote

Wanted: The Goose to My Gander.

Must love long walks through the park and be tolerant of my many many neighbors.


Roadgoddess t1_jc8xtzf wrote

Oh my gosh, watch the video, the very end, when the two geese are snuggling with each other is so precious


awolfsvalentine t1_jc97xaf wrote

We have 2 male geese that always hang around back. They’re totally in love, we call them Dan and Dan. I can’t imagine Dan losing other Dan someday 🥺


No_Carry_3991 t1_jc940ej wrote

This is actually no joke, the lone goose may die of a broken heart. It happened at a place near me when someone attacked the mate in the middle of the night. He was killed by a knife attack, and soon after, the female died. It made me feel a little better that the townspeople in that area were deeply angry at this, and they put together night watchmen for weeks after, because this had happened before and I guess they were fed up. It made me cry. She left behind two babies. We're not the only ones with hearts.


msfrank091 t1_jc9asfv wrote

Of all the targets that person chose to attack a goose and murder it. Even with all of the possible irony that is such a crap move and so sad. Good that the citizens rose up in anger after that tho. Poor bird.


No_Carry_3991 t1_jc9b6y8 wrote

So, I was homeless in that area at the time and I passed by that pond every night, on my nightly walk to keep myself awake overnight. When I heard this second attack happened, I was so mad but also freaked out because I might have seen or passed by him, though I made it a point to avoid populated areas at all costs.

They did arrest him. Younger guy. So sad.


ClutteredBeans t1_jcetist wrote

Honestly with the way society treats animals, particularly animals like poultry, it’s not that surprising some asshole went out of their to target a goose.


kharmatika t1_jcauwx7 wrote

Why would someone do that….it’s so mean. It’s just a goose.


SweetJebus731 t1_jc8kb6x wrote

I will never get enough of stories like this.


GrammarHypocrite t1_jc9nw7f wrote

As a new widower, I'm now jealous of a goose. So that's fun.


SkinHairNails t1_jc9r5yu wrote

I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I hope your pain eases.


GrammarHypocrite t1_jc9ryv6 wrote

Thank you, I'm laughing at stuff like this at least. Grief is weird sometimes.


SkinHairNails t1_jc9u36b wrote

Grief is just the most absurd and chameleonic emotion. I can't say it's any one thing, truly - in any given moment it might be minimal, it might be overwhelming and crushing waves, it might be funny, it might feel fine and it might feel like you'll never recover. I feel it in my chest so strongly when it's acute. Being able to laugh is strength, even if it doesn't feel like it.


GrammarHypocrite t1_jca8sot wrote

Chameleonic is such a good descriptor for grief! I cannot predict how I'm going to feel from one hour to the next. Just got to keep riding those waves.

I hope wherever you are on your journey that it's kind as it can be to you.


cfo6 t1_jcc0mj6 wrote

I just lost my Dad recently and this is so accurate. It also brings up old grief as you manage the fresh. Ridiculous and important but also just so difficult.


SharrasFlame t1_jcb3yiu wrote

My dad became a widower in summer 2020, shortly before his 80s birthday. He was in such deep grief (they were married for over 50 years)... Late last year, he hooked up with a nice lady of similar age (and through online dating!), now she moved in with him.

In other words: Hang in there, there may still be someone for you.

Or who knows, as time passes, you may find happiness without a partner as well. The grief will pass. Slowly, and in waves, but eventually they'll get smaller and smaller.


kharmatika t1_jcav19m wrote

Hey you’ll find a new goose. I know it’s tough, but you deserve happiness and she would want you to find someone to care for one another.


FauxPastel t1_jc8x3ef wrote



big_ficus t1_jc9m05o wrote

Hail yourself, I also listened to this episode today


BrokenCankle t1_jc8w9c2 wrote

Now, this is an adorable story.


it_all_happened t1_jc99aj0 wrote

Good night!! Going out on a good story for once.

Thank you!! 🦢❤️ 🦢


thecwestions t1_jc91ljo wrote

Peace was never an option, but love is still on the table...


cat_prophecy t1_jc8zli2 wrote

Randy’s response has to be the most midwestern ever: “Well, that’ll be great”.


LazyLich t1_jcakkbd wrote

When your spouse dies, so aliens take it upon themselves to put out ads for other aliens to see, and they abduct a new spouse for you


slaboshmuck t1_jc98ghq wrote


(continued on page 9)


taggart_mccallister t1_jc9cgug wrote

This is why I always feel a pang of sadness when i see a single goose by themselves.


bl8ant t1_jc9rrmy wrote

(Furiously develops an app called Honkr)


calllery t1_jcb5vv7 wrote

Did they put the ad up on Gander?


Jungian_Archetype t1_jc9dgq7 wrote

Great, now even the geese are getting matched before me...


Vista101 t1_jcbggk8 wrote

So heartbreaking for the bird.really nice the cemetery is trying for the goose.


robbiekhan t1_jc9c3jo wrote

Geese are basically flying feathered mini giraffes!


Maxwell227 t1_jca9r2x wrote

I didn’t have that on my 2023 bingo card…


NoMoreChampagne14 t1_jcact3s wrote

Omg I’m so glad I’m subbed to this sub Reddit. This is so sweet.


titus1531 t1_jcajafy wrote

This is literally all I need the internet for.


fruityhalo t1_jcatkcm wrote

This made me tear up a bit. I'm happy both widowed geese found each other and are aren't lonely anymore.


CentiPetra t1_jcb23nc wrote

Why is every single story posted in this subreddit actually depressing, and then has some very minor redemption that in no way makes the original circumstance actually any less horrible?

Why can't, for once, we have an uplifting news story that is actually uplifting?

It's always something like, "Six year old born without arms, legs, or eyes who was abandoned in a dumpster behind an Applebees receives over a dozen stuffed teddy bears by the first responders who found him"


AutoModerator t1_jc8aoiz wrote

Reminder: this subreddit is meant to be a place free of excessive cynicism, negativity and bitterness. Toxic attitudes are not welcome here.

All Negative comments will be removed and will possibly result in a ban.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.


Grumpkin_eater t1_jc9mo0v wrote

Did the goose like, live at the cemetery or do they do this for other bereft animals?


ExtremeRepulsiveness t1_jc9y8l2 wrote

That whole interview was so cute :) those people are awesome lol. And so are those geese!


Dbgb4 t1_jc9zc83 wrote

Love at first honk.


Pixelated_Piracy t1_jca4zxt wrote

geese are wicked miscreants...but its still uplifting


xness151x t1_jca5aoq wrote

when something good comes out of Iowa.


Achillor22 t1_jcaszgg wrote

So they pimped out a goose?


badpeaches t1_jcazp68 wrote

Goose gets more action than me



7milesveryown t1_jcb45bf wrote

The Dame just switched up on him like that.


Queseraseras t1_jcbv2vb wrote

This is what I love to see, humans using our brains to help animals in ways they can't always help themselves!


Ulpian02 t1_jcbyfk3 wrote

That seems like it could backfire in really weird ways


Bhimtu t1_jcckozw wrote

This was the BEST story, how sad for her, and then happiness! And isn't that just awesome, they're now inseparable. Great story!


foxontherox t1_jccsdbs wrote

Bruce the Goose has moved on from Tina.


rancorog t1_jca3ziz wrote

This would be adorable if it was anything other than geese