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UnprofessionalGhosts t1_jdgckbx wrote

This is exactly why it’s important to keep the myth going that the city has alligators in its sewers from people flushing small pet alligators down the toilet when they start becoming a hassle to own.

We have relied on this lie for generations to keep kids out the mother fucking sewers. I don’t care where you live. Tell your kids about NYC’s sewer gators today. Let that shit spread from playground to playground from sea to shining sea once more.


CableTrash t1_jdh5184 wrote

If the fact that it’s an NYC sewer isn’t enough to keep kids out of it, I don’t think gators will either.


-Nordico- t1_jdgzs67 wrote

Yeah I dunno, I'm in Canada; can I say flushed bears instead?


wangyuanji58 t1_jdhdx1f wrote

House hippos. Then show a video explaining how hippos eat people.


MSquared1994 t1_jdid17o wrote

Jheeze those house hippos were such a fkin nuisance growing up. I can’t count how many times I’ve flushed them down the toilet.


Economist_Lower t1_jdio3w1 wrote

Gahhh one of those fat fuckers clogged our toilet and we had and inch of water on the bathroom floor. Well, that's what my kid tells me. I didn't see it, could have been a massive dump and he's blaming the hippo.


St4on2er0 t1_jdjewer wrote

Or ya know, teach your kids reality. If fecal matter and a rat filled maze don't keep them out, then they probably wanna pet the alligators anyway, and they belong down there. Or hear me out, we just take the Futurama route, and we keep our mutants down there. Unless they get a day pass because we're not monsters.


Odd_so_Star_so_Odd t1_jdk7b03 wrote

How do you know these smarties didn't go in there to find alligators? Best to be upfront and teach them facts than expect them to not go looking for santa when you tell them he lives on the north pole.


Sariel007 t1_jdehzi6 wrote

5 kids looking for the TMNTs.


Khaldara t1_jdemrel wrote

Did they kill that fucking clown at least?


aksdb t1_jdiuj8t wrote

The article only mentioned flashlights, no dead lights.


CaroleBaskinsBurner t1_jdk0kqy wrote

This would have been me as a kid.

I used to stuff weeds into the drains on my block to "feed the Ninja Turtles." My elderly neighbor would just smile and nod like I was doing a good thing, and then pick it all out after I went in the house so that the block wouldn't flood next time it rained. Lol


HoopOnPoop t1_jdejhrf wrote

Witnesses say they were rescued by 4 anthropomorphic turtles who provided them with pizza.


x31b t1_jdfr96n wrote

Were those turtles different colors?


yellingaboutnothing t1_jdfpu1m wrote

You guys ever see the episode of Malcolm in the Middle when him, Reese, Dewey and Stevie get lost in sewer tunnels? Reese can’t stop talking about how he saw Stevie’s mom naked.


yallxtrippin t1_jdeyw1o wrote

r/kidsarefuckingstupid material right here

Got lucky one was just smart enough to bring their phone.


Ashjaeger_MAIN t1_jdh1a8u wrote

Where I live there are tons of old underground bunker/factories from ww2. There are tons of incidents where kids went in to play there and the things are several kilometers long and several stories deep. As far as we know all of them got out but noone knows if they are connected with any missing children's cases because they are so large and some areas can't be entered if you want to leave them again.


Nagohsemaj t1_jdgb7la wrote

>Staten Island

>Sewer System

Kind of redundant, you don't need to say both.


wholesome_videos t1_jdeeu0m wrote

OMG, thank God they are alright. 🙏


hibernate2020 t1_jdftxg9 wrote

Not that alright….they still live on Staten Island.


magusdevil t1_jdg1hkw wrote

Probably never even knew they were in the sewer.


deadreckoning21 t1_jdg833r wrote

At least they’re playing outside. Well, underground.


picasso_penis t1_jdil15o wrote

I was just going to say, so much for people saying kids don’t go out exploring anymore


pokerpro831 t1_jdggjwu wrote

Used to do this as a kid. Parents found out. Weren't happy


jeangaijin t1_jdjju5p wrote

Me too! In the early 1970s we used to access the storm sewers in our town of Rutherford, NJ and could walk all the way out into the Meadowlands ( this was before they built the sports complex and Giants Stadium). Probably was well over a mile. It just curls my hair to think of it now. We got caught when a cop heard us talking while we were at a sewer grate. He bent down to take a look, saw us and then his hat fell off. My brother’s friend grabbed it and took off laughing. Within a couple days they had put a big gate over where we used to walk in!


CaroleBaskinsBurner t1_jdk2y80 wrote

We used to play in abandoned houses/buildings and on the top of a mile-long stretch of abandoned elevated train stations.

Our parents especially hated the second one but that just meant that we'd duck a little lower while passing through the portion of it that overlooked our street.


blbd t1_jdgg6ho wrote

Sounds like they just got lost and ended up in Jersey. No biggie.


synocrat t1_jdh2os9 wrote

Amateurs. When I was a kid and we explored the storm sewer tunnels we took chalk to mark out along the way to get back.


Ramomin t1_jdeh9pm wrote

Well, hey, Richmond till we die, right?


TiltedLibra t1_jdgr73s wrote

But it was their time down there!


Millonairo t1_jdgsw61 wrote

No hesitation! No surrender!



Steelizard t1_jdh42pc wrote

Finally found a good post, no orphans here!


dream_in_binary t1_jdhlwxf wrote

I wonder what movie they were watching just before they came up with that adventure plan?


tomenas94 t1_jdh9m74 wrote



Starrion t1_jdhel7y wrote

So no ants down there then….


diekthx- t1_jdhz4pa wrote

Did they emerge covered in spray tan and several idiotic tattoos?


BRAX7ON t1_jdiov1u wrote

When you try to have an adventure, but you fail and you have to call your parents for help. Where are the goonies when we need them?!


Bernard_Goetzoff t1_jdixyjd wrote

We used to walk as kids from south beach storm drains to like Huguenot near the golf course. They probably lost their wifi signals and panicked.


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danhoyuen t1_jdgszp5 wrote

those shitty brats...


oki-ra t1_jdfn9fp wrote

Fucking clowns


Retheod t1_jdeinfx wrote

What can ya say your such a motivating person I’d run through a brick wall for you coach


Renisev t1_jdehuxs wrote

What can ya say your such a motivating person I’d run through a brick wall for you coach