Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

Youarethebigbang t1_iyq05io wrote

Worked several years in a nursing home and can confirm how much some of the long term residents were attached to their stuffed animals, it was both sweet and kind of sad to be honest.

One elderly woman had a white stuffed poodle she always had with her in her wheelchair. We also happened to have a gentleman who'd bring in a white poodle service dog that the residents could pet and interact with, they loved it--especially some if the really older folks who had some memory or cognative issues. It brought them to life and put smiles in their faces. The dog eventually got old/sick and the owner couldn't bring him in anymore. One day I went into the cafeteria where he'd normally have the dog, and there was the lady with her white stuffed poodle animal with about three other residents around her and she was sharing it so they could pet it. One of the ladies who had dementia was holding it like a baby and petting it so sweetly and sincerely while the others looked on I just started crying. They just needed that connection so bad it broke my heart.

323

ehmaybenexttime t1_iyq58qa wrote

This post hit me right where it hurts. My mom worked at nursing homes when I was growing up, and and got a job at the one my great grandma was at, on a different Wing because I don't think she was allowed to be on my g-grandmother's. I didn't live with her, but when she would come and spend time with me at my grandparents house, she was always so hurt by how lonely everyone was. Sometimes she would pick me up and bring me to work with her for 3 or 4 hours and just have me go say "hi". Of all the issues that our seniors have in care homes, loneliness should never be one of them. It is, in my opinion, the greatest of their concerns.

90

Youarethebigbang t1_iyq89fy wrote

You're exactly right, in my experience lonliness in the nursing home was probably the most common "ailment" among long term residents. I honestly think some died of lonliness, they just sort of gave up.

The saddest were parents who's kids would literally just drop them off and never be seen again, even if they lived in the area. It's one thing and bad enough to not have any family, but another to have family and they won't even visit you--I mean not even during the holidays. Most of them use the excuse that its too hard/depressing on them (the family) to visit a nursing home. Well what do they think its like being there 24 hours a day, 7 days a week without even having the choice to leave?

31

ehmaybenexttime t1_iyq8joc wrote

I remember walking around and just popping into rooms and saying hi. Some patients were more ornery than others, so I knew where to actually come in and spend time. Coming in to just let them be. I was a kid. It's not my place. But oh my gosh the time I would spend with the average patient was weird for me, and amazing for them. Old people smell will be smashed into my brain until I am an old person (willing that I get there!). People forget that elderly people are just humans who lived longer than they used to. They're special and important and have lots of things to tell us if we listen.

22

Youarethebigbang t1_iyq9tjt wrote

You were doing God's work as a child, haha, that's great.

So my general thought or understanding is in the US, nursing homes are basically a drop off building for the old because the majority of residents have family that could actually take care of them if they wanted or were determined to. Most of the care they need most of the time isn't acute, and its very manageable.

Outside the US, or at least the West, as far as I know nursing homes aren't really even a thing. That is, the elderly are respected and valued and cared for by their entire family, they just make it work. Thats why most of the direct caregivers, at least in my area, are Asian and Hispanic. Generally their culture wouldn't even allow you to put an elder in a home, As a Filipina nurse told me, it would be "shameful" to do where she came from, the community would look down on you.

5

ehmaybenexttime t1_iyqasub wrote

My mom said that her best nurses were from cultures that genuinely do respect older generations. Male or female, they seem to offer the a level of empathy, care and understanding the patients deserve.

Treatment of bed sores? It was a slap on the ass with medicine for some people, but some nurses understood that they were caring for an actual individual lives that a long, full life and this is where they were? Being abused by 25-year-olds with little patience? I loved those people. I was allowed to sit on the side of a man's bed and read him basically all of one of the Peanuts comics anthology books for no reason. I thought he might like it, I'm sure he didn't but he sure loved having me there.

I remember when I was like 12, because I moved to South Carolina when I was around that age, a man whispered if it was okay for us to try to go to the bathroom alone. He just wanted to do it for himself but I knew that I wasn't allowed to let that happen. So I told my mom that I was going to pretend that he was going on his own but I wanted a nurse right outside the door. He did get to the toilet. He was so proud of himself! He yelled through the door that he was going to sit down to pee, and "that wasn't wrong". I yelled back that it wasn't wrong! It was safe and I was proud of him. Again my mom was a nurse, so I knew what to say. He did eventually end up needing help getting up off of the toilet that I couldn't offer, and he would never have asked me to give him. Before anyone makes any jokes about the infirm, consider how you would like to be treated, and viewed after a lifetime of sacrifice, hard-working, love. Would you like to be treated like a child because your body doesn't work the way that it should anymore?

9

Subreon t1_iyq6j2n wrote

Another victim of car dependant America. Once a senior becomes too out of it to drive anymore, it's basically over for them. So they either gotta be discovered rotting in their home, or give up their freedom in trade for having people around. Sensibly designed cities have a variety of continuous transit options and plazas everywhere for people to just chill and chat casually. And crossing paths with cars isn't a life threatening endeavor because they're made to crawl through the wisely designed street that naturally encourages slower driving. That's true freedom. Such a beautiful infrastructure setup

24

Chi_FIRE t1_iyq7t0w wrote

Found the fellow Not Just Bikes watcher. Based and bikepilled!

10

ehmaybenexttime t1_iyq79ii wrote

What are you on about!? I would say it has a lot more to do with people that are not able to leave the home because of medical issues. This issue is firmly in the hands of a community that doesn't value our older generations. They may not think the way that we do, and they may be kind of hard to deal with sometimes, with issues like dementia, Alzheimer's and generalized anxiety that comes from pain and aging. Those people can't get out by themselves, even if you put them on a bus. People need to VISIT those lonely people. They are people. They are lonely, but they're also confused and require medical attention almost all the time. Putting them on the goddamn bus wouldn't help.

7

Subreon t1_iyssu5m wrote

Must've missed the part about the plaza and safe walkability for them to socialize and attend their own needs like getting food from one of the several small local shops lining the pedestrian covered streets. They don't even have to travel to do all that in a sensible city. If they have a medical issue, there's a lot of people around to immediately notice it and help or get help. Even in a nursing home there's only so many staff, and if a senior has an issue where nobody is watching at the moment, then they could die from something simple they easily could've been saved from. What I'm going on about is that a lot of what's wrong with America is rooted in how its infrastructure was designed. And that itself is rooted in the evil rich. All roads, ironically, lead to the rich. Solve these problems and this country will truly shine

2

ThePrussianGrippe t1_iyq5ceu wrote

The way elderly can be treated is so heartbreaking.

5

Youarethebigbang t1_iyqa9e8 wrote

If you've never worked in a nursing home, you can imagine, but don't know the half if it. It's heartbreaking they're put in that general situation in the first place, then downright criminal how theyre neglected and sometimes abused by the corporate operators of those places who put profits above everything. Its pretty horrifying.

6

April_Spring_1982 t1_iyp921c wrote

Omg... This made me tear up. That's so sweet. I'm a grown woman and I love cuddling my squishmallows! Stuffed toys are so good for the soul.

65

ehmaybenexttime t1_iyq4wob wrote

Holy crap. I can do this. I can make this happen within my society, and I think I'm going to try to. By next christmas, I'm going to make this happen, or partner with people in my area that are already doing it. This is such an amazing idea. It's so simple and sweet, and we should all be supportive of it.

56

OstentatiousSock t1_iys2wcg wrote

Keep an eye out for yard sales and check out places like good will. They usually have hordes of stuffed animals for very cheap.

3

42_yall t1_iyse0jl wrote

Hi jumping in late but if you have goodwills near you you probably also have a goodwill outlet- thrifters call it The Bins. It’s the last stop for all the stuff that hasn’t sold at the stores and prices there are crazy cheap. Like, a pound of clothing for 2$ cheap. I’ve seen plushies at mine for cheap too! Good luck!!

2

ehmaybenexttime t1_iytjjvv wrote

That is such a good idea! I actually know a guy that supplies plushies for the little claw machines a lot of restaurants and bars local to me have. I thought I would reach out to him but this is also a good way to get that started! Thank you so much!! I know it sounds really dumb, but I'm really excited about this, and it's giving me something to focus on and care about outside of work in my own personal issues. A way to give back to people who have given so much to us.

1

teachforgold t1_iyr1wat wrote

A salon near me does “Santa for a Senior” every year. They partner with a local nursing home and have each resident fill out a paper ornament with their Christmas wish list and the salon hangs them on a tree in their lobby. People can then go in, grab an ornament, buy and wrap the gifts, and bring them back to the salon. Then the gifts are given to the people in the nursing home for Christmas.

I grabbed a couple ornaments this year. They were all things like comfy socks, blankets, crossword puzzles, Christmas decorations, etc.

16

AtypicalSpaniard t1_iypth4p wrote

Man, when I read this the first time I imagined a DIFFERENT kind of stuffed animals. Thankfully this is sweet as hell instead of a cruel joke!

7

Rain_in_Arcadia t1_iyqdai0 wrote

Yeah same, then opened the article and felt dumb lol. “Stuffed animal” still sounds weird though. Maybe over here we’d call them “animal plushies” or some such.

2

Acewasalwaysanoption t1_iyqwfhw wrote

I imagined college seniors and I even got to think that yes, plushies help with exam stress.

1

VioletteFMR t1_iyquyzg wrote

Seniors: Could you stuff a little weed in that monkey?

3

DramaticAd5313 t1_iyrwe8m wrote

What a kind thing to do,I'm a senior i know how lonely it gets around the holidays.. great story

3

D_Jayestar t1_iyr4r1c wrote

Where can I donate in Canada?

2

hiker_247 t1_iyrch9d wrote

Is there an address to send stuffed animal donations???

2

taybay462 t1_iys4ncd wrote

I'm sure if you look up a nursing home in your area you could call about their policy for donations. That'd be a lovely thing to do

2

exploringunderrocks t1_iysl4ys wrote

Things like this are like a bandaid to the heart - it reminds you that there will always be people out there making the world a better place.

2

EiEnkeli t1_iyt4flo wrote

I visited my grandparents today, they moved to memory care about a month ago. Today a woman came by with some stuffed squeaky animals from PetSmart, my grandma (with alzheimers) has been so excited by it. Every few minutes she gets to express joy about this cute present, she then relearn that it squeaks and refinds the squeaker. It's very neat to see her joy with it.

2

AutoModerator t1_iyp2uso wrote

Reminder: this subreddit is meant to be a place free of excessive cynicism, negativity and bitterness. Toxic attitudes are not welcome here.

All Negative comments will be removed and will possibly result in a ban.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

GoHomeWithBonnieJean t1_iyqygqf wrote

That's a really sweet gesture. She must be a kind, caring person. I'm sure it takes a lot of time and labor to chase down hundreds of plush critters.

But, "collects? Used?

Is this for senile older people who are regressing back into chilhood? Otherwise, why would an adult want a stuffed animal? Just seems unusual.

God bless her, no matter what the case

1

CentiPetra t1_iyraij0 wrote

I have a stuffed animal that I sleep with. I've been doing it for awhile. He has a name and an entire personality.

He is not really for me, he is for my daughter. I made up this entire backstory for him, and how he is very important to me, etc.

Normally I lay next to my daughter and read to her, or we play games and talk before she goes to sleep.

I'm getting chemotherapy, and my body fluids/sweat are toxic, especially the first few days after an infusion. So I sleep in the guest room, use a separate bathroom, and can't lay next to my daughter/ put her to bed.

So on days where I can't cuddle her, I give her my stuffed animal and ask her to take care of him, and then I FaceTime her from the other room before bed, and she has "my" stuffed animal to cuddle with in my place.

10

GoHomeWithBonnieJean t1_iytebwe wrote

That's an excellent strategy. I'm very sorry to hear about your illness. I have a close family member who's also on chemo right now. It's especially difficult with a comprimised immune system and covid. It's extended our quarantine for a third year. I hope you have the support of friends and family. They can really be a source of strength.

2

solariscalls t1_iyrnqd4 wrote

Not to attack the person doing the gesture as it's awesome but no one "needs" a Christmas gift. When did Christmas become more of a "Can't wait to get my awesome gifts" vs the other aspect of spending time with friends and loved ones.

The elder generation don't need gifts. They would likely appreciate it more to be involved and to be thought of during the holidays and be able to spend it with their loved ones.

All too often the people in nursing homes gets a quick visit from their kids for maybe what 15-30 minutes and after that poof, all alone again watching reruns in your room alone.

1