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johnn48 t1_j0m39d3 wrote

Curious his Step Father is Mexican, Mother Black, Father Japanese and grew up in a White neighborhood. As a 3rd Gen MexAm I grew up in a White suburb of San Diego. While cognizant of my roots and culture, it’s more accurate to say I’m a White MexAm. The reality is that race and heritage are only a small part of what constitutes who you are. A ginger White boy growing up in the Barrio with his homies and learning the culture of the Barrio has more in common with Mexicans than the Whites of suburban America. The same occurs across America where stereotypical Races grow up in non traditional settings. So I’m always curious when I see mixed race children which was the predominant culture that was assimilated. Consider that Barack Obama was routinely criticized for not “being Black enough” by Blacks but too Black by Whites. So while Kellyn might consider himself an Asian American he’s going to always have detractors who question his true heritage. I wish him luck as he goes forward.


Mysteriousdeer t1_j0m7ozt wrote

I'm hoping this is acknowledged more when we talk about culture. Everyone that experiences it seems to feel it when they don't conveniently fit into one box.

Class, skin color, race, experiences, theres stuff I'm not listing but they all contribute to diversity.


johnn48 t1_j0mbyaq wrote

As Ted Lasso said be curious, that’s always been my motto. So when I see the word diversity, I’m curious what does the person mean. I admit I’m a Boomer and the buzz words and acronyms having me searching Google quite often. Just identifying myself as an American of Mexican descent, am I Chicano, MexAm, or whatever LatinX is? So do we lead me people to diverse views and cultures or hit them over the head with them. Are we judgmental or accepting, confrontational or open to dialogue. Do I have to accept diversity without question or can I still have reservations. Are your Music choices better than mine or is there room for both. Are all our choices binary or do I have to accept your definition as the correct one? Stay curious my friend.


vorpalglorp t1_j0mzr5j wrote

I'm half Filipino and half Northern European, but I grew up in Southern California where EVERYONE and I mean EVERYONE thinks I'm Mexican. Now although my family has a very White American culture that is only part of who I am. You can't ignore what the world around you thinks you are. This has taken me decades to accept. When people make a B line to me hoping I speak Spanish it's not going to change the fact that it will keep happening. At some point you realize that you don't just represent who you are internally. To my external world I am a White washed Mexican and until I go in depth about how I'm not then that's superficially what I represent in public. So weird as it sounds I understand a good portion of what it's like to be Mexican American in America although it's not part of my genetic identity at all.

I also have a unique perspective of being inside the all White conversations where they don't think there are any Hispanic people around and I can tell you that most Mexican Americans dramatically underestimate the amount of racism that exists inside White families. In a way I envy that naïveté because I hear the racism and then I have to go out and feel the racism from the other side. Also I don't have the hispanic culture and pride to make me feel better about it. This is mainly why I've left Southern California. It sucks to constantly have to represent something you're not, but it's also impossible to ignore.


FUCKAUSERNAME1312 t1_j0mtkum wrote

I wish him good luck if he ever decides to go to Japan as an Afro-Japanese American, definitely gonna be interesting.


luv_____to_____race t1_j0mjicm wrote

My SIL is a 6' tall blonde, blue eyes, and married a 6'6" D1 defensive end, whi is a POC. Their first child is a boy who shot up to 6'9" and became interested in basketball. The youngest daughter grew to 6' and played basketball. The middle daughter is also 6', but went for volleyball. They are all light skin with big hair. The 2 that played basketball into college were very much into the black culture, while the volleyball player isn't. Just interesting to see how the different sports influences the person.


Persianator t1_j0mule3 wrote

This is known as peer group influence. There’s quite a bit of research that shows the group of people you grow up with are as important for a child’s development as the family unit.

There’s a lot of truth to the old saying of falling in with a bad crowd.

It’s why you see some people in prison who come from loving families but display psychopathic traits. If you’re around an environment that displays certain behaviors as normal and positive but in reality are anti-social, you and society are in for a bad time.

Obviously this can work in the inverse as well. Come from a rough background full of trauma and adversity, having an avenue that provides both physical and psychological safety can build resilience.

Be mindful of who you spent time around people, it can literally change the trajectory of your life.

Signed, Your friendly neighborhood psychologist


curiousarcher t1_j0qwz7v wrote

All of my BF’s friends are toxic AF. But they are from childhood and he won’t let them go. Wish that would change but honestly it’s one of the reasons I think I will make a change at some point. I don’t want those people in my life.

(Liars, cheaters, one of them is Mexican but racist towards black people and pretty much conspiracy theorists all around.) My bf isn’t like that, but of course no one escapes unscathed.


Britz10 t1_j0okh6m wrote

What do any of those abbreviations mean? SIL: sister in law POC: person of colour D1? Whi?


luv_____to_____race t1_j0p79ah wrote

Correct on the first 2. D1 is just division 1 college sports. Whi is a typo. It should be who.


Britz10 t1_j0p8iz5 wrote

Guess the way you wrote it confused me more than anything, her husband is supposed to be your brother, and you don't get the impression you're related.


luv_____to_____race t1_j0p99mg wrote

Sorry. I should have said my wife's sister.


Britz10 t1_j0p9nug wrote

Oh, I don't know why that never crossed my mind, makes a lot more sense why it was phrased like that.


iamnotexactlywhite t1_j0mrki0 wrote

Why do yall segregate yourselves? like, why are you Mexican-American if you weren’t raised in Mexico, but in a white neighborhood in America? why are 10th gen black people called African-Americans, when literally 99% of them have no connection to African roots? Make it make sense


johnn48 t1_j0mwuz6 wrote

In my case it’s a reaction to prejudice and racism as I grew up. If you identified as Mexican you were asked if you were “legal” an “illegal alien” etc. If you avoided identifying your heritage it was assumed because you were ashamed or embarrassed of being a “Mexican”. If you were brought up in an environment separated from your culture it was assumed that you didn’t want to be known as “Mexican American”. If you identified as Chicano, some understood the connection others not so much. So that raises the question why is your handle “iamnotexactlywhite” make it make sense.


King-Krown t1_j0n6e3y wrote

That's not what segregation means..

Because "African" is my ethnicity & American is my nationality. Doesn't matter if one has been there once or 100 times. It's where my people come from. It isn't your lane to tell anyone where they do & don't have a connection to, especially when you're not connected in anyway to be any kind of authority. There's a reason many countries offer free citizenship to the members of it's dispora around the world.

Looking at Americas history and how white people then, basically told Italians,Irish,etc "cut your culture out & just white-americans"...Fast Foward today, Some of yall are bothered by the simple fact others have any little connection to their homeland. So fuckin what if someone is African,Mexican,Japanese-American. Why are some of you so bothered by it? Thought America was "A melting pot of people & cultures"?


Miltrivd t1_j0po0a9 wrote

> Because "African" is my ethnicity & American is my nationality

This is just an evolution of the deep seated racism within US culture, which recognizes it as bad but hasn't been too long to be able to move from it, so :"ethnicity" has taken somewhat a function to transition.

I'll give an example of something that happened with an US online friend who asked me what was my ethnicity, I told him "I'm Chilean" - "No, but what's your ethnicity?". What he wanted to know is what I look like, which is not a key component of ethnic background as is cultural background. being Chilean is my ethnic background. I also have Italian citizenship due direct descendancy but in my country calling myself "italian or half-italian" would be considered ridiculous because I have never even set foot in there once, it's not where I grew up and don't share any cultural background with Italians.

Your ethnicity can't be "African" because to start with "African" isn't and can't be an ethnicity. Ethnicity is a shared group of characteristics that have to do with cultural heritage and shared worldview, not just what you look like. An entire continent doesn't and can't have common ground to create that connection. I would be a wide and misguided generalization. Just like Latin Americans are also not an ethnic group because it composes millions that have literally no common cultural ground, not even the language as local usage varies wildly between countries.

The misuse of "ethnicity" on the US comes down to keep doing racial profiling and categorization, which is honestly a natural progress on the path of adaptation to move on from backwards customs but that doesn't make it correct or desirable.

> Some of yall are bothered by the simple fact others have any little connection to their homeland

I don't think people are "bothered" rather than confused because you having family that came from Africa and just that is not part of your ethnic background, just like me having Italian grandparents also isn't. This doesn't deny that your family came from Africa or if you feel like you have a connection but you can't really sit with someone from Nigeria and honestly tell you are part of the same general cultural group, which is what ethnicity is.


King-Krown t1_j0q14ap wrote

Yea.. No. I'm African-American. I've been fortunate enough to meet people from all over Africa & plenty of them still call me brother & refer to Africa as my home. For almost anyone who wasn't born in their homeland, long as your curios & respect where you came from. MOST people aren't going to tell you not claim it.

That's such a dumb ass stament, even claiming "Black" in America doesn't mean it's a monolithic culture. People in Chicago, The South, DC, New York are all culturally different. Doesn't make anyone any less or more Black. The same goes for vast cultures in Africa or anywhere else. Be it about reconnecting or maintaining a connection, it's about acknowledging & respecting what your practice.

I'm not letting anyone who has nothing to do with Africa is any capacity explained to me why THEY THINK I shouldn't claim it. Again, y'all make your identity issues & confusion others problem. I don't have Black/African people complaining to me. Yet people on the outside constantly think they have a valid voice. You don't.


lookatmynipples t1_j0mtdj1 wrote

It’s just a label dude. It’s race + nationality. You wouldn’t call yourself just American within the US because there’s so many races within America, and in the end both play a role in your life.


iamnotexactlywhite t1_j0mto5w wrote

there’s a lot of races within UK as well, and nobody is calling black people African-Brits or some shit like that. Hungarians aren’t called Hungarian-Germans in Berlin either.


RunninOnMT t1_j0mviv2 wrote

A lot of it is people just treating you differently. You can grow up in a white neighborhood, but if you’re the only kid at school who gets tofu and kimchi in your lunch, it doesn’t really matter what you self identify as. You will be identified by your peers a certain way.


lookatmynipples t1_j0myzra wrote

I saw it as people identify that way because they get treated differently. They grew up in the same place but they are still viewed differently because of their race and not always seen as just “American,” unless I’m mistaken and you’re referring to people who try to refer themselves as just their nationality


Atherum t1_j0mu6v5 wrote

Exactly. As a Greek Australian I have a similar experience. Both aspects are part of my identity and they can still be really distinct at times.

I'm not exactly "just Greek" and not exactly "just Aussie". I am what I am.