Viewing a single comment thread. View all comments

Tankeverket t1_j14yok5 wrote

Imagine when this becomes common practice,

  • you're sitting at home and suddenly your phone sends you a notification,

  • it's a text message from your local hospital,

  • you check the text message and it says "This is an automated message from the Hospital's Supercomputer: According to our predictions you are going to suffer from a brain bleed on January 23rd between 3:00pm and 5:00pm."

  • It is currently January 23rd 2:54pm


RebbyRose t1_j151imo wrote

Lmfao, imagine scrambling, slippin, knocking shit down trying to get to the ER. Lmfao


fliberdygibits t1_j153lbl wrote

.....tripping and hitting your head in the process.


Tattycakes t1_j15zfml wrote

"Ohhh, what's really going to bake your noodle later on is, would you still have broken it if I hadn't said anything?"


Husbandaru t1_j15iwmh wrote

Text OK to dispatch an ambulance to your residence.


RebbyRose t1_j15nl2t wrote

This feature was added in an update after many fatal accidents lmao


Husbandaru t1_j15o1v8 wrote

“Confirming your health insurance. Health insurance is up to date. Dispatching ambulance. Your copay will be $120.”


xzmlnf t1_j163bpk wrote

"Health insurance claim is denied. Ambulance has stopped.. to resume services, please transfer 1500$ to the hospital."


Husbandaru t1_j163kge wrote

“Error code: 04. Health insurance is out of date or the service is not covered. We cannot process your request at this time.”


xzmlnf t1_j1649f5 wrote

"The person having dying of a stroke desperately trying to enter their correct insurance number for the third time with only 1 hand.."


Medicp3009 t1_j17ntuf wrote

Ambulances are way more expensive than that. In NJ if a BLS ambulance takes you it’s around 1500. If the paramedics show up and apply 4 stickers read your ekg and get your VS it’s 10k. Here is the kicker. The paramedics can triage the patient back to the basic emts because they weren’t needed and there was no life threat.

Volunteers are the worst culprit of having the paramedics come “check them out” basically because they are inept.


Pupgradek9 t1_j17ejag wrote

In the US "an ambulance is on the way and we've calculated the trip to your location to cost $800. Text Stop to cancel your ambulance"

Plus then you'd be slapped with the ambulance cancelation fee. 799 bucks.


scratch_post t1_j154kv5 wrote

"Please respond with 'HELP!' to receive ambulance services."


"Unknown entry"


"Unknown entry"


"Unknown entry"

Me: to myself Why isn't this pattern matched dies


FLEXMCHUGEGAINS t1_j15dfdr wrote

Lol watch as someone's phone won't unlock because their stroke presentation is screwing up the facial recognition


tanis_ivy t1_j15bnso wrote

Imagine the ambulance just shows up at your house unannounced. You open the door and the guy is standing there counting down. He hits one and you drop to the floor.

"Ah, right on time"

"Kevin. You're supposed to hold onto them before they fall. Look, now there's blood everywhere. I'm not cleaning that up."


pizzafourlife t1_j1506i8 wrote

You go to hug your wife for comfort. She is cake.

Wait, wrong future!


Qudd t1_j15qk4u wrote

When this comment is used for the sole basis of a Netflix show and you aren't paid... . I want to be involved in the inevitable legal proceedings.


a_cute_epic_axis t1_j16icu1 wrote

Hopefully we don't all have regular intercranial pressure monitoring. I try to keep the holes in my head limited to those my mama gave me.


Tankeverket t1_j19o3z4 wrote

Maybe in the future we'll have some sort of health monitoring tht you can get, if I had to get some sort of device that monitors my health data, but it makes sure to let me know if I need to seek medical attention, then sign me up.


Charezza t1_j15tr6e wrote

The supercomputer then sneaks into your house and stabs your brain with micro needles.


menjav t1_j17p098 wrote

Unfortunately we cannot send paramedics right now because we had to let go most of them in the 2023 depression. If you’re close to a surgeon, people get in touch with them. Otherwise, call your closest family to say good bye. Have a nice day.


gerd50501 t1_j18hlps wrote

or a text that predicts that after you ate a bunch of spicy food, you are going to have a long night on the toilet. Stockpile toilet paper.