Submitted by Nixx_Mazda t3_10xvp6a in Washington

Found this amongst the grandparents documents.

Ahhh formatting got messed up. Dangit editing isn't working...trying to add line breaks.

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>Ilwaco Million Miles For One of Your Smiles

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>Chet suffered sore from Acme;
>
>Yet,(so I’m Tolt), all day
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>upon his Fife he’d Toutle
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>Dabob Spee-Di-Dah-ay
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>and brush the girls away.

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>He loved to Walla Walla
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>in breakers warm and wet,
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>In all Duwamish water.
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>Would splash and Wollochet.

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>And was he brave! Wenatchee!
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>Also Elochoman --
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>Till Latah he fell in with
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>a Lilliwaup named Ann.

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>Ollala Palouse was Annie,
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>Lor’Lummi, wasn’t she though!
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>She Asotin something
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>That should have laid Chetlo.

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>But it was hair of Auburn
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>That Chester loved in maids,
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>While ne’er was raven’s Quilcene
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>More black that Annie’s braids.

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>Chesaw him in Dewatto,
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>A-floating on his back,
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>With Tatoosh on his Tumtum
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>That made her lips go smack.

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>Now Whatcom over Annie?
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>‘Twas love, Attalia that,
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>Her heart went Hamma Hamma
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>And her teeth went Klititat.

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>She cried, “You are Malott, dear!
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>Wynoochee kiss me, pet?”
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>The Mattewa, such ardor
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>Did not Startup in Chet.

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>So Anacortes Chester,
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>Thurston to Havermale,
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>But he replied, ‘Tonasket!
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>Ohop off! Hit the trail!”

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>“Naselle me your embraces,”
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>She begs him with sweet moan;
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>“My family’s Algona;
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>I sleep and dream Malone.”

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>With Methow in her madness,
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>Once more the girl began:
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>“I Sekiu and you only;
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>Alava you, “ Spokane.

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>“Though man and maid Canby
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>Olequa in God’s view,
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>You’re free to Sauk and kick me,
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>Go on -- Satsop to you.

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>“My itch Tacoma to you is
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>Mowich than e’er I’ve had,
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>Draw closer-Touchet, Scatchet!
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>Or else I shall go mad.”

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>“Come Offut,” quoth Chet Coulee;
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>“Psyst Pysht! You plead in vain.
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>Shoo Skagit! Having walked here,
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>Newakaum home again!”

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>Then Ann began to Yellept,
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>And soon she Yelm some more;
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>Then she began Tohalah;
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>Then she began to roar;

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>“Tahuyah think you’re talking,
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>Yacolt and frigid fella?”
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>In Sucia angry Vashon
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>All this and Moran yella.

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>She Vader in, and gave him
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>Back to Leland La Push;
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>She Twisp his nose, and Chucka-
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>nut pie in his mush.

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>Lebam!** Bangor!** Kapowsin!**
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>“Oh, Memaloos!” begged he;
>
>“You’ve just knocked out a Mohler!
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>Dosewallops broke my knee!”

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>She Kickit him, he hollered;
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>“Wawaii! Let’s cry Queets!”
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>Klipsan Moclips she gave him;
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>He grovelled at her feets.

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>“Elwah-cha doing? Stop it!
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>Become Ione instead!
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>I Wauna you!” Chet pleaded -
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>In a Semiahmoo they were wed.

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>Thus did our Doughty hero
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>To his Anatone;
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>No more does Chester Toutle,
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>Or Annie dream Malone.

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>The Colfax is, Snohomish
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>More happy, Neah or fah;
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>Soon Chester Willapa be,
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>And Annie be a ma.

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>Moral

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>Utsalady who knew a fat Liplip
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>Often Kachess the cockiest male,
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>You Coweeman-jostle him--Ruff him--
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>If Flattery doesn’t a-Vail.

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>I offer this Towal spinsters;
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>Don’t Blaine yourself - just beat your man,
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>You’ll Seattle work out for you just
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>Azwell as for Lilliwaup Ann.

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>Willard Espy

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Comments

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Nixx_Mazda OP t1_j7um161 wrote

Well...most of them are a bit of a stretch, LOL.

No Humptulips or Skookumchuck, I'm mildly disappointed.

Edit: Oh, it's from a book circa 1973/1975. I guess gramma liked it.

https://www.abebooks.com/9780915112005/Omak-Tonight-Ilwaco-Million-Miles-0915112000/plp

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