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Puzzleheaded-Phase70 t1_j7o5nqy wrote

Hahaha no.

Please do not enroll your kids in Worcester public schools if they have asd, they are unlikely to be well served.

Also please do not use anything "ABA" related, it's seriously outdated and generally condemned by the autism community.

Steer clear of any with a puzzle piece logo or public association with "Autism Speaks" as they are literally a hate group focused on elimination of autistic people and provide almost no actual support to real autists.

You SHOULD get connected with the Autism Self-Advocacy Network (ASAN), and look into homeschooling resources for autistic learners and educate yourself on asynchronous development.

The modern age has become a much better place for autistic people, because various forms of technology have provided ways for people to connect and interact that were totally impossible before. Get connected with the Autism community itself - you'll find the best people and support there, not in "the system".

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Ductomaniac OP t1_j7p7f27 wrote

For homeschooling resources, are you saying you think we should homeschool our children if possible? We have connected with a few autistic communities (none of them Worcester based though), all of them advising strongly against ABA.

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Puzzleheaded-Phase70 t1_j7pbv7t wrote

I think that is likely going to be part of most families' solutions fit healthy autistic kids.

Even if you do find a good school program for them among the alternative schools in the area (which keep changing, so i don't have any specific recommendations this time), you and your kids will need to take charge of their education much more directly, and homecoming resources can really help.

Scouting, college programs from young people (MIT's SPLASH used to be a core for many kids, not sure about now), martial arts programs, museum programs, maker programs can all be used to collect a custom education for the specific needs of your kids without involving the traditional school system and its problems.

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SomeHomeOwner t1_j7qwhxd wrote

In my humble opinion, and I have a good amount of experience with this, your advice is misguided at best and probably more accurately described as potentially harmful.

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Puzzleheaded-Phase70 t1_j7renen wrote

My advice comes from both personal experience, a degree in psychology, and the weight of literally every single autistic adult i know, which is many.

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HighVulgarian t1_j7pjjh1 wrote

Please don’t listen to this person, ABA is strongly researched and validated to be the best treatment for behavioral excesses and deficits. This person likely had a bad experience or worse “did their own research” and validated their own bias.

But look into the Shrewsbury school system, they have a very strong aba/autism program.

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sirlurksalotaken t1_j7pysnu wrote

Also home schooling would be absolutely the worst. Immersion into the community is paramount... For the person with ASD and their peers.

Had they included students with disabilities while I were in school I would be 10000 times better prepared to be a parent of a child with ASD and likely would have also lived a more enlightened and fulfilling life knowing people with disabilities are not a personal problem... It's a societal problem.

Awareness, acceptance and accountability on both sides (ND/NT) is needed and inclusion is the only way.

Home school.... Sweet lord.... Please do not do that to your child.

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HighVulgarian t1_j7q780m wrote

Yeah their comments come off as someone who could not/would not follow the guidance as prescribed and then found “functional” alternatives to behavioral training. And saying they just let their kid be is a long winded way of saying they gave up.

That said, it is not easy to be a parent to kids with ASD/DDs and very difficult to change the coping strategies they developed to get by before they made it through the wait list to achieving services. Looks like a classic extinction burst

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sirlurksalotaken t1_j7usq4k wrote

My experience as a parent has been a privilege, I cannot speak for all or relate to many others on the subject.

It's concerning the opinions regarding ABA.

The practitioners should be operating within the parameters developed by the parents.

I certainly believe there are more parents out there concerned with the "symptoms" of ASD and many parents refuse to get a better understanding of how to modify their life/perspective and opinions to generate inclusion for their child.

Sure, many, if not most parents do as they're told in the treatment of their children... But if the therapies are being considered abusive, then I think the fault lies on the parameters that were defined and not the therapy.

As for ABA being the gold standard... Well, it's not of the same quality for gold standards as say Volvo is for safety... But it's a start. I mean, come-on, we used to drill holes in our skulls for the most ridiculous things...

So yeah, there's definitely room for improvement, as there is for all things. But improvement won't come if no one participates.

And I have less faith in people being parents than I do the scientific process...

So the abuse assigned to ABA I say is the result of parents trying to reshape their child, vs parents utilizing ABA to help their child develop skills needed to survive in a world the quite frankly does not give a shit about them, or anyone who doesn't have a voice that can be heard above the nonsense of humanity.

Whenever you see a result of the scientific process being abusive, racist or discriminatory... Was it the process or the practitioner?

Just my 2 cents.

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threelittlesith t1_j7rum0j wrote

Nah this is a pretty standard feeling among adults with autism as well as those of us who’ve experienced ABA with our kids. What autistic kids need isn’t to be trained out of their autism but rather to have a program that actually works with them and their neurodivergence. Models like floor time are significantly more in line with more modern research that’s not looking to erase or cure autism, as it’s not something that can be cured.

Which isn’t to say that I think homeschooling is necessary, but ABA is useless at best and abusive at worst.

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georgelopezshowlover t1_j7ow6gw wrote

What is the replacement for ABA?

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InnerRoll9882 t1_j7oxyjo wrote

There is no replacement for ABA. We rejected ABA based on input for autistic adults. My son had speech and occupational therapy. Other than that we just let him be his authentic self.

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georgelopezshowlover t1_j7p49nl wrote

In theory, that’s awesome and I agree. In practice, in the classroom, ABA is integral to learning for those with moderate to severe autism.

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InnerRoll9882 t1_j7p76ev wrote

Not a fan of labeling. Autistic is autistic. My son is doing just fine without any ABA since he left public schools in first grade. The school he transferred to did not use it.

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georgelopezshowlover t1_j7pi3p9 wrote

Yea, why use language to show the degrees of a spectrum?

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threelittlesith t1_j7ruxbg wrote

That’s not how the autism spectrum works. It’s not more or less autistic, and those within the autism community prefer to talk about high versus low needs as a reflection not of a person being super duper or a little autistic but rather of what they actually need.

And yes, the language matters, at it focuses on what the autistic person needs, not how inconvenient they are to the people around them.

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Puzzleheaded-Phase70 t1_j7p3ufi wrote

There is no replacement because it's an unnecessary goal altogether, aside from the trauma that ABA practices can cause in the process of achieving that goal.

While it's true that autistic people often need help understanding allistic behaviors, practicing social skills overall, and other kinds of coping skills to survive in a world that doesn't understand them/us... The biggest problem is actually in society.

OTHER PEOPLE need to learn how to function with autistic differences, rather than trying to force autistic people to behave like allistic people merely for their comfort.

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georgelopezshowlover t1_j7p48q1 wrote

Okay, so students with autism should only get social skills and coping skills during school? Because if we want them to get academics, we need ABA or something to replace it.

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threelittlesith t1_j7rvwge wrote

…yeah neither of my autistic kids have needed ABA or anything like it to develop social skills outside of school and neither have I. And before you say “hem hem you must be MILD,” both of my boys are considered moderate needs. Both of them have speech and occupational therapy to help them adjust to a neurotypical world, and beyond that, they have accommodations in their classrooms to help them with their sensory needs and other areas that can’t be helped with therapy. We opted out of ABA for both of them; the ABA we DID get for my younger son before he started public school was roughly useless.

ABA by definition is about behavior, not social skills or coping skills. It’s about training autistic kids to act less autistic, which can be absurdly traumatic. I understand you’re drawing on your experience as a special Ed teacher, but in ignoring the experiences and opinions of autistic adults and autistic kids, you’re coming across as the kind of teacher I’d want to stay at least a thousand miles away from my kids.

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Puzzleheaded-Phase70 t1_j7p538u wrote

I'm trying not to get mad at you, but it's not going well.

I understand that you are a product of the system and are having trouble seeing past the paradigm you're used to. But you need to read my previous comment again, and take some time to think about it.

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georgelopezshowlover t1_j7p5iw1 wrote

I can guarantee you’ve never taught special education. If we want students to fail in the real world that IN NO WAY will magically change to know “how to function with autistic differences,” then we can do it your way. We can’t even see people of color as equals in this society. Cmon now, be realistic.

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Puzzleheaded-Phase70 t1_j7pay06 wrote

I can guarantee that you're the kind of special education teacher that made my life and many of my autistic friends' lives horrible.

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georgelopezshowlover t1_j7pikei wrote

I would also say that you are obviously on the mild side of the spectrum for autism. You may not have needed ABA and it’s unfair when all students with autism are shoved into one classroom. I do things differently. It’s also apparent that, if your lives were horrible, then ABA was not used correctly. The focus is positive reinforcement. Many teachers are so used to using negative reinforcement that the switch is hard. But again, ABA used in the way it’s supposed to be is immensely helpful.

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georgelopezshowlover t1_j7pi73u wrote

We all have bad teachers, I get it. That doesn’t mean we need to get rid of something that helps the majority.

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Puzzleheaded-Phase70 t1_j7rdwrh wrote

Please please please start listening to actual autistic adults (and kids, for that matter).

The overwhelming majority of the community condemns most special education programs, and especially and ABA as fundamentally abusive, and mostly pointless. Most autistic adults, including myself, have spent years undoing what they were "taught" in social ed programs in order to become both more healthy and more able.

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SomeHomeOwner t1_j7qx9he wrote

Your chip on your shoulder stemming from your own personal bad experiences is clouding your judgement and making you a liability to those in the autistic community looking for guidance. Your bias is a serious problem that could be potentially harmful to those in need.

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Puzzleheaded-Phase70 t1_j7rf0su wrote

I learned this viewpoint FROM autistic people other than myself.

My parents did a different wrong thing - they "mainstreamed" me with zero supports and didn't even tell me about my own (bad) diagnosis. I've been trying to catch up my whole life.

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SomeHomeOwner t1_j7vbk2i wrote

You said it yourself. You had a bad experience because you were not exposed to the best supports, and you had an extenuating situation of your own family basically sabotaging you. Don't get me wrong.. the issue here is way beyond you yourself.. I'm not saying you're somehow damaged goods.. but the advice you give is very jaded and is over-compensating sharply in what is now generally considered the wrong direction. Is every program great? No, of course not. But telling someone to shun all of the orgs out there and just go with homeschooling and social isolation and hope that society as a whole suddenly just changes direction to accommodate those with ASD is incredibly short sighted. It's a two way street. Society DOES need to better accommodate ASD and actually all types of differences in general.. but those with ASD should also be assisted to better acclimate to the society in which we all live.

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Puzzleheaded-Phase70 t1_j7web3q wrote

You're acting like I'm a lone wolf on this topic, which means you haven't been listening to actual autistics. Including right here on this thread, because I'm not the only one.

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SomeHomeOwner t1_j7zvy0i wrote

You're deeply in the minority. It's really not even close. You're too jaded to see the big picture.

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