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CatumEntanglement t1_ityhjnv wrote

Reply to comment by DMG103113 in Moving to Worcester soon, help by michrubio

Where do you live where stangers will start talking to you in lines? This is not New England vibes. Don't give a new person a false sense of the culture around here. People will not be waving to him at the big box stores.

For newbies u/michrubio, this is how it goes:

New England/MA people will seem standoff-ish at first. This is because we don't deal with fake friendliness. We're typically very tempered in our interactions with people we don't know. We are respectful of your time out in the world getting shit done, as we are getting shit done ourselves and don't want to dilly-dally. Doing errands is a focused endevor. If you wave to us we're going to be confused and think you are waving to someone you know. But if we're friendly, we mean it. We're not disingenuous and we follow through. If we say we'll show up to help you clear your side walk from snow, we will show up. We may seem prickly at first but that's just until we get to know you. (Like don't be upset your new neighbors aren't knocking on your door with the welcome wagon... that's not what we do...but it doesn't mean the neighbors won't eventually become friendly...) The attitude around the region is that we don't fake any false sense of familiarity with people. If it's not authentic, we're not going to bother you. But it just means that when we are friendly and warm, it's absolutely authentic and we are not blowing wind up your skirt.

There is a saying of the differences between someone from CA and someone from MA: "people in California are nice, but not kind...while people in Massachusetts are not nice, but are kind".

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augustus_octavian82 t1_itzmvzg wrote

I’m going to second this - I grew up in New England, but have lived outside of it for education over the years and I feel the same way. New Englanders aren’t overtly rude, we’re polite (maybe cordial would be a better word), but we’re not about to get into your business if we don’t know you. I read a really great piece once in the Boston Globe by someone who’d moved to Boston from the South. She had a bad breakup and was ugly crying on the T (local train) on the way home. People obviously noticed, but no one asked her what was wrong. Initially she was very put off by this, but the more she thought about it, the more she realized that it was exactly what she needed in that moment: her privacy. That’s what we respect in New England - each other’s privacy.

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michrubio OP t1_itzhrsm wrote

I have been to Mass before and people have been nice so far, fiancés family is from there so I am kinda hopeful. Not the biggest fan of California, visited a few times and found people were kind of rude. I am in Texas (not the racist Texas lol) but it’s what I have gotten used to.

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SmartSherbet t1_itzd8fs wrote

"we are respectful of your time out getting shit done" is Masshole for "I will block two full lanes of traffic as I try to make a left turn onto a busy road at rush hour because my time is more important than hundreds of other people's time."

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DMG103113 t1_iu0b17k wrote

That ‘nice’ vs ‘kind’ bit is the perfect description. I was born and raised in Waltham, lived there and Lowell till I was 30 and then moved to Cali for 10 years. Moved back here in 2020. Truth be told, the sense of community here is VASTLY superior to anything I experienced in Southern California.

People do wave (or nod) to each other. We acknowledge one another’s existence. People will pull over and give you the right of way when the street isn’t wide enough for two cars. We wave (not obnoxiously, just pop a hand up from the steering wheel) at each other in acknowledgment. That just doesn’t happen in SoCal.

I’ve had several conversations in the grocery store line. Nothing immense but someone might see something I’m buying and make a comment, with a smile. That doesn’t happen in SoCal.

I just had a buddy of mine come out from Cali. He was dumbstruck because we will give people the right-of-way, when driving (sometimes people do it unsafely or when it’s not appropriate) but I explained it’s like us holding the door open for someone.

True, we’re not in each others faces. We will absolutely respect people’s privacy but overall we treat each other with respect and acknowledge one another’s existence. There are definitely people that are on the other end of the spectrum but overall we have a strong sense of community.

When I first moved back people asked me why. It wasn’t till I moved away that I truly realized how amazing it is out here. That’s not to say SoCal is the dumps, it’s not. There are a lot of great things there but here is someplace special. The sense of community is outstanding and the nature is phenomenal (winters can suck but I wouldn’t trade them again). Maybe my love for New England blinds me to some things but god damn if this isn’t an awesome place.

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Notfromcorporate t1_itz1rr2 wrote

As someone who moved to New England a few years ago…MA people are nowhere near kind. Think a better word would be ignorant

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legalpretzel t1_itz9sdg wrote

We’re not ignorant enough to waste our time being kind to someone who thinks we’re ignorant.

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saintmusty t1_iu01qcj wrote

Maybe they're not kind to you because you're an asshole

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