Feline ears flickered back and forth then swiveled towards me before flattening in disgust. That wasn't all. Soft black velvet fur, two catspaws and clawed hands with pink palms.

They didn't really seem to be a cat. It was true though that they seemed to have gotten all of the best parts. Their delicate features and petite frame were accentuated not obscured and she was moving with more grace than before.

"Oh uh you've got airplane ears. Cute by the way. So you are feeling uncertain about this right?" Maybe a little uneasy?"

I was guessing based off the book about cat behaviour that I had read earlier that morning. It seemed I was correct because of the way her eyes widened.

"You sick bastard! I'm a freak now and I'm furry and you know what the worst part is? Everyone can see exactly what I'm feeling! Anyone with a cat suddenly knows everything about me!"

I hastily stepped back as her face contorted into a snarling hissing expression of rage. This exposed her rough sandpaper tongue and canines which were of course much more menacing on a human face by virtue of being much larger. For heavens sake it was like a vampire! She pulled out her tongue for emphasis and forced my hand to it

"Dob Ub feelb howb rouffhh dis is? Feh it!"

She pulled away recoiling in disgust at some mysterious flavour only known to cats her head rolling back and about on her shoulders. She protested still gagging; with tears in her eyes.

"You know whats really, really the worst? I can taste whatever that was but sugar? Sugar is completely gone! How am I supposed to bake cakes for a living when cats can't taste sweetness? Blegh! My tongue is all wrong! Its rough and useless!"

I felt sick to my stomach. It was just like my mother to take someones livelihood because of... well it could be anything! It was becoming impossible to get any more information because of the way she was carrying on.

"Thats not even the worst part. I'm actually deathly allergic to chocolate, raisins, onions, garlic, chives and coffee all kinds of things. I haven't felt well since I got out of the hospital for a triple allergic reaction. I can't even drink. Have you ever seen a drunk cat?"

My heart clenched. Did she say triple allergic reaction? Even worse now that I thought about it I couldn't ever remember seeing a cat partake in alcohol. I'd seen them eating kitty bars, bits of meat, yogurt, butter. There were so many videos of cats on the internet. With a sinking feeling I realized I'd never seen a tipsy cat. Why was that? Why!

This young woman was twenty like me but instead of living at home with all the time in the world she clearly worked hard. The bake shop below her townhome was her passion. Flour dust and scattered cookware were everywhere. The smell of rising yeast and the delicious scent of warming chocolate filled the cramped room. Too late I spotted a complicated looking rolling pin.

"Fix me!"

The rolling pin swung towards my braced arms but changed course midair to smack into my midsection.

"Uff! Ugh! Wait let me explain!"

I reached for the rolling pin but she flipped backwards like some sort of gymnast sending her bright pink phone flying out of her apron. What was she supposed to be? Kitty Softpaws?

I groaned: "Unnngh..."

"How dare you call me cute! I look goth or whatever because she made me a tux- did I just do a freaking flip?"

Dryly I noted that she had. Oogh. But I was saved because just then a group of asian tourists and their teenage daughters strolled by.

"Look its a catgirl cafe! Please?"

"Please! Look its a genuine cafe but here in the US! "

There was an older looking man with a bold white suit and red tie that these girls were speaking to. They pointed at the bakery and talked in rapid-fire Japanese. Woozily I sat down on a stool and quietly spoke an incantation. Out of a pocket dimension constructed beyond the bounds of the material plane powdered catnip poured into my palm.

You see there was one other thing about cats besides allergies and agility and those telegraphed expressions. They could only pay attention to moving things. Staying as still as I was her attention was fixed on the group of energetic young girls and their fathers. I was also sure that an independent bakery owner couldn't possibly pass on foreign customers with plenty of money for tips and an appetite for Scandinavian pastry.

She couldn't see me and that was my cue to get out of here before someone got hurt. Like me. I would be the one getting hurt. Unnecesarily too since I'd been trying to help!

I yelled: "Magic Powder Attack! Flinging the pile of crushed catnip right into her face

Her eyes went wide and her face relaxed as she slid down from the counter. With a slight note of panic tinging her voice she murmured.

"Didja... did you jus-"

Right then the tourists burst into the shop. The two fathers throwing the doors open for their daughters and exclaiming in delighted Japanese at the wide variety of pastries. The girls rushed over to her pulling out phones. There you go! That was a niche market and an opportunity!

You see I wasn't nearly talented enough to undo a complicated artifice of sorcery of the kind my mother was so fond of. I was more into tricks.

The next few weeks were rough for her. The local newspaper proclaimed that Local Woman Receives International Acclaim For Cat Costume. After a letter I sent her anonymously she started streaming games. She started to like it when people pet her and scratched her chin. Which I thought was strange but said something about cats.

I had a certain power over luck that made these things work. I just wish my mother wasn't so damn disturbing! I mean allergies are no joke. Sheesh...