It was in the bag! Sell the soul for help with customer support. But after five reboots, ten phone calls, eight of them ending in disconnects, and two ending in a “please email us the photo of your routers serial number”. IF THEY HAD INTERNET THEY WOULD BE ABLE TO!!!

Customer support had been a brilliant idea to get souls. Frustrate people so they either yell at the people around them, or agree to sell their souls directly for help dealing with it. But somewhere the system evolved. It wasn’t letting me get anywhere to solve the darn problem. And being 3500 years old technology doesn’t just come easy for me. I am starting to miss the days you could hit it with a stick. To be fair, that worked with people too.

Back in bell I pull out some books. Maybe I’ll be able to figure out how the system broke. Looking through Comcast’s names I see one. Adimus. That angel went and made it more complex? I can see why the demon console approved it. I decide to call in a favor and call him up to ask why.

“Hello? This is Adimus”

“Yeah Adimus, this is Mirgroth, about ten years ago you put in a suggestion to make the customer support system more complex. I want to call in my favor from three hundred years ago to ask why?”

“Oh, i almost forgot I did that! Did it get implemented finally?”

“Yeah. You know how hell works. Bureaucracy all the way. Takes ages to make any changes at all.”

“Great! Now to return your favor, I put in that suggestion because I figured that one something got complex and frustrating enough that humans being weird would commiserate with each other and maybe save some souls.”

“Well congratulations. It’s working!” I slam the receiver down. What a ploy and we fell for it hook line and sinker.