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Commander_Night_17 t1_j90tfm2 wrote

A soldier who was growth accelerated, made to hate humanity and kill humans, finds herself free from her brainwashing, desperately trying to hold onto their humanity

(Basis of one of my sci fi characters, have fun with it)


Aftel43 OP t1_j910dry wrote

Ah, I will do something quite interesting with this then.


(Finally somebody came to investigate, took you long enough lazy piece of crap... Only one? Not a good firing position though, pig in an army uniform? Really, that's all they sent in? Fine, hopefully it will be able to put up a better fight) I think and I move towards a better firing position, I notice him checking few of the bodies.

Then looks around quickly but, I get a sense he is far more thorough on surveying what he sees. I heard a creek as I move and slow down to a halt smoothly. Human is looking at my direction and straight at me. (Crap, no time!) I think and quickly take aim. He dodges right in the moment of firing a burst of bullets.

I raise my sight from my rifle and I see him answering back. With a handgun? From that distance. Go ahead, I see the muzzle flash and immediately my instinct tells me to dodge. I do and hear the whistle of the bullet and ricochet too, he is accurate and I lost element of surprise. (You only bought few seconds) I think and raise my rifle again.

He quickly took cover, firing more is pointless, I can not wound or kill from here, I notice he peeked quickly but, I couldn't zero in on him in time. I am getting more and more frustrated. I quickly move to another location after shooting a few rounds to make sure he doesn't peek again. He can not be that good. Absolutely must not be.

After few more unresolved firefights... (He is good, but am I better) I think and discard both of my firearms. I am out of ammo... Dagger it is then, let's see if squeal like a pig when I gut you. I just hope he is out of ammo too. I keep listening very carefully, I hear he is coming and using a ladder currently. (Come on, hurry up) I think.

I couldn't hear his foot steps anymore, I decided to go around. As I move to take another position and go through a door frame. I realized my mistake, I felt a grip on my left wrist and I felt attempt on pulling me on the ground. I pull back and we are locked in a contest of strength. He is strong... I have to break this lock.

I pull out my dagger and attempt to slash. He quickly let go and dodges "Woman?" he asks sounding taken aback because I look at him. Male, 182 centimeters tall, weight... Maybe 130 kilograms with that equipment. That is weird looking armor and helmet. That is straight up metal... No wonder he is moving reservedly.

"Don't touch me!" I say angrily. I am not close enough to threaten immediately "Acknowledged" he says in monotone manner. (Are you even trying you son of a cow?) I think and quickly move to attack. He dodges, I attack again, yet another dodge. He starts backing off, I follow. "What are you? A coward? Attack! You piece of crap!" I shout.

He just quickly checks does he have his own dagger with him... That is an unusual design... Wait... (He is trying to tire me out) I think. He keeps an eye on me and starts removing a piece of his helmet. I move to attack. He gets it off and just in time dodges my lunge. He quickly drops whatever he took off and I look.

Those eyes, like mine... Steel blue iris, cold, fearless and full of strength of mind and body, but, unlike mine. I don't see anger... I don't see... Rage... He quickly knocks my weapon hand away from him with a punch and I thought he goes for my throat when he reaches out but, he grabs from my goggles and helmet cap.

I quickly struggle off of him but, he managed to strip the goggles off of me also slightly lower my helmet cap to reveal my face. I try to slash his arm but, he is smart... He used his arm metal plating to knock my attack off from it's intended path, saving him from wounds and parrying my attack.

I keep attacking few more times but, he keeps dodging, I sense deep within me... (Am I going to die?!) I think when I take a break from attacking. I just breath in "Die!" I screech and try to slash again. An expert parry by using his left shoulder armor, he moves right inside my guard... He grabs from back of my head and then next everything went dark.


Commander_Night_17 t1_j91eno2 wrote

sips tea

Am I right to assume there is a part 2?

Loved it so far!


Aftel43 OP t1_j91p2xl wrote

You are correct.


I next wake up on a bed with a big headache... That bastard knocked me out but... How? I didn't see a fist... I think I saw... A wall? Where's my dagger? Where is he? I don't see him anywhere in this room. I see some kind of piece of paper on the night table as I get up. I take up the paper, it is written in language I can understand.

"If you want your dagger back. I am in employee break room". I toss the piece of paper away... That piece of turd will kiss it's kind before I kill him. (Why did he spare me? Is he toying with me?) I think. I remember the eyes. Steel Blue, cold, fearless and vigorous. (Why do I feel kinship about him?) I think.

I keep walking and I see him standing there next to of a some kind of machine on a table with a window on it. I see my dagger on the table with four chairs around it. He has reacted to opening of the door by raising his chin and looks at me. "Good afternoon" he says to me in language I can understand.

"There is nothing good about this time" I say to him angrily "Are you certain?" he replies turns his left side to me and starts up some kind of machine. I have no idea how I would describe that sound. It isn't the one with the window, it is on some kind of platform. It doesn't seem to be a weapon, that is for sure.

He turns his head away from looking at me face to face, for a moment I thought I have opportunity but, I notice he is in front of a large... Reflective surface... I can see his face, the eyes... I don't understand why I feel like he is so cold but, same time as if he is trying to turn something. I see my own face on the reflective surface. I get close of him if I approach it...

I look at my dagger again. He has his dagger with him still in a sheathe but, his hands are nowhere close of it. They are crossed in front of his chest and he seems to be staring at his reflection but, I keep sensing he keeps an eye on me. I approach the reflective surface on the wall and I look at his reflection.

Those eyes, the intensity I can feel in them is remarkable, he is state of hyper focus. (He is like me, born to kill) I think "Why did you spare me?" I ask and turn to look at my own reflection. I notice the bruise on my forehead and tip of my nose and feel really unhappy about them. "You wouldn't be able to carry out your order if you died" he said.

"What do you care?" I ask accusingly "I do" he says "What do you see in your eyes?" he asks breaking the moment of silence "I see..." I say and look deep into my own eyes from the reflection. I come to realization of what I see and take few steps back "Fear... No, that is not me" I say and reject.

"If you do not see that in you, keep looking" He says remaining monotone in his tone. I look at him. (If I do not see that in me... I should keep looking?) I think, I am becoming frustrated "What do you then see in your reflection?" I ask spitefully. He keeps an eye on me, then swaps his look into the reflection.

"I see myself, as who I am, what made me who I am, what I have been through, I can see my confidence, strength, focus and tensity. Products of this war and two soldier trainings" he says. The machine made some kind of sound and he looks down. He pours something from it into some two objects made from ceramic. I believe they are called cup.

I smell the water and pushes one of the two packages in front him to me. MRE I read on it. (It has to be poisoned... There is no way) I think then look at my reflection again. I feel like something shot through my head and I realize... I have been hating my own kind... For no reason. I groaned from the pain and start falling to the ground on my right side.

He catches me. I realize what I see in me... I am afraid... Of the reality. Part of me wanted to push him away from me but, I chose to just start crying. He embraces me calmly and I keep crying and bury my face on his shoulder. "I am so sorry" I say. "Ride the wind" he says. It means that I should just go through with the emotions.

He is patient but, I constantly sense a distance between me and him. Yet I do not see, hear or sense anger in him. It takes a while until I get a hold of myself. He guides me on how to use the MRE and explains what it is. It is good... (Why is he showing such kindness?) I think.

"Why are you so kind to me?" I ask. His eyes avert my own for a while and move in a manner of... Reminiscence? "I remembered how many we have already lost. How you remind me of somebody who I haven't seen in three months now" he says and stops avoiding eye contact. I see... The layers of ice, around his heart?

The intensity returns and focus returns slowly. We both finish eating and drinking the just boiled water "What happens now?" I ask. He let out a hum, it sounds like one he has let out many many times yet there is that small tone of thought in it. "Your sense of self was shattered" he says and I nod to him.

He looks at the small containers that held what we ate within them. He pushes then gently towards me "Place them on top of each other, from biggest to smallest" he says. I do as he says even if I wonder why. "Do you understand what you just did?" he asks when I am done. I look at it... A tower?

"A tower?" I ask "Fair answer, but, no. You built yourself in a manner of speaking" he says. I look at the tower... I built myself? I almost become angry and then I realize what he really means "I... Need to rebuild myself?" I ask "Exactly for now, you are here..." he says and taps the table near of the bottom of the tower. I ball up my hands into fists.

He notices it "I do not say this to offend you. You sense it yourself. It feels like something has broken horribly?" he asks. he is right... I almost slipped back to what I know and find familiar. "I... Need to repair it?" I ask "Yes, here" he says and turns away from me and gives me back my goggles and my dagger.

I lock my eyes on his face for a while. Only now I notice the scars that are quite far in the healing process, then I lock my eyes on his dagger in the sheathe. I gently reach out to take it, he looks at my hand and at what I am trying to take. Then into my eyes, I feel the air current of his breaths. At first they were strong, then slowly it calms.

He gives his dagger to me. I look at it, flat straight back on the blade, curves towards the tip into a fine stab and pull blade. I sense something old about it, I feel the handle. A model perfect grip, lightly used but, making of the blade... Is built for purpose, the design is unusual though. I give the dagger back and he puts it back in the sheathe.

"Who are you?" I ask "Name is Romi Lari Aalto, I would like to ask your name" Romi says... That name feels so awkward for my mouth even without saying it "Helen" I say "Come with me miss Helen" Romi says and walks past me without any concern that I have my dagger with me. (What should I do?) I think.


Commander_Night_17 t1_j91rl3t wrote

My character Tessa J. Willams would feel a sisterhood with Helen, their experiences are quite similar.

Never published her story sadly.

I hope this prompt helped you out with your goal, and I wish you luck


Aftel43 OP t1_j91t18i wrote

Mostly the goal was just passion for writing. Nothing else really. You are going to leave when so many questions are still unanswered? All of the whys, hows, wheres and whats?


Commander_Night_17 t1_j91u4bg wrote

Some people would write only two parts for a prompt like this.

If you write more, I'd love read it, but do message me first. (Speaking as a guy who did write a whole novel with one prompt)

(And sometimes, as a bit of advice, the unanswered question makes the story even better and rememberavle)


Aftel43 OP t1_j91xws1 wrote

Hmm... most of the questions I thought of where ones that kind of needs to be answered but, some of them would need to be answered later as the relationship develops. Not actual love relationship but, Helen would need to develop as a human being more before Romi would answer certain questions.


Commander_Night_17 t1_j920iw1 wrote


Mine did by kind souls and children

Perhaps that could help


Aftel43 OP t1_j925ov6 wrote

Problem is that Romi is kind of sought after for his infantry vs infantry expertise in this conflict that rages on the background far away. Thankfully he knows some people he trusts with his life but, Romi isn't the best option for human development all alone. Which is why he will be distant to Helen for a while but, not unfriendly.

With some assistance from psychiatrist's on the other end of the line. Helen can look forward for better life but, road of recovery is always an up hill battle.


Commander_Night_17 t1_j927m1g wrote


Good luck!!


Aftel43 OP t1_j92w4mj wrote

I still wonder what should I do as I hear Romi stopping at the door. I don't even need to look at him to confirm he is looking at me. I finally get up and put my own dagger into it's sheathe then walk up to him "Where do we go?" I ask "Somewhere better than here" Romi says with hint of distaste for something. Not aimed at me but something else.

"Where are we?" I ask "China, Xinjiang province. North west corner" Romi says and he starts walking, exiting the employee break room. We walk to a open area and I start feeling nervous. Romi swapped languages, I don't know what he is saying. "I called for a pickup. It will be here shortly, then it will be quick flight to your new home" Romi says to me in language I can understand.

"You are not coming?" I ask as I get mildly alarmed by this. He turns to me slowly, looks into my eyes in completely other manner "I will, I wish I just could stay longer" he says with regret "What is stopping you from not staying?" I ask, I realized... I feel worried about him... "There are people who need me on the front lines" Romi says.

"What front lines?" I ask "Earth has been invaded... While we might have sent enemy capital ship with tail between it's legs... They have ground troops in here, in our home. As much as I dislike government of China. I do give a damn of those troops, they have loved ones too. I rather do something about it than just call it not my issue" Romi says.

"How can you be so strong?" I ask in with mild astonishment "Because I have people I can trust, one I love and somebody I care about behind me. All of them ready to give the support I need, when I need it. I didn't choose this life, it chose me. It made this my war and I rather lie under earth dead than leave it undone" Romi says.

The determination is so dominating in his words. I realize it is that same sheer force of will that I saw before he knocked me out. I sense, I can trust him. He would stand between insurmountable odds to protect somebody and keep going until, the bullet has been fired and last enemy has been felled. I hate myself...

(Why can't I be like him? Why have I become such a wreck?) I think. I muttered the former. "It is because somebody computed you to act how you did before I broke the scripts" Romi says "What do you mean?" I ask. He looks at me, this time looking confused, this time, I see he has questions too.

"There is a psychological procedure called brainwashing, which in turn becomes brain computing when you are in state of complete acceptance of commands from somebody that would otherwise go against your morals and nature" Romi says. I understand now... I was somebody else before this all... Somebody stole my life.

I feel it coming back, the hatred, anger, spite... Something flashed on my eyes, I gasp and breath shakily "Helen" Romi says with sympathy "I remember... No, I don't want to do it again..." I say as I remember some of what was done to me "Helen, listen to my voice and focus on what eases your mind" Romi says calmy and embraces me lightly.

When he embraced me, the memory stopped going so fast... I hug him back. I got back to reality and I breath quickly and shakily. "You are doing fine, just focus on what eases your mind" Romi says calmly "My dagger..." I say and think about. I touch it for a moment but, I didn't pull it out of the sheathe.

I am slowly getting myself back to together again "You are strong Helen, don't allow yourself to think otherwise. Remember that recovery is always an uphill however, all of it. Is worth it when you arrive to the top of it" Romi says "For how long you are going to stay with me?" I ask still worried of him and I trust him.

"For now, until I absolutely must head out again" Romi says in accepting tone "Thank you" I say to him quietly. I hear some kind of flying thing approaching. I look towards the sound and see some kind of plane landing on the solid ground. "There's our ride. Can you keep walking?" Romi says. "I can" I say. We stop hugging each other.

He turns towards the plane which is slowing down and stopping soon. I place my hand on his left shoulder. He looks in to my eyes once then places his own hand on my right shoulder, I quietly as possible breath out. Then we start walking towards the plane that has stopped already.

Back of the plane opens and there is two people there inside of the plane. Romi looks at one "Kyre... *sigh*" Romi says and swaps to language I do not understand. The woman looks at both of us. Romi turns to me "Come on, let's step in and take a seat" Romi says to me and swaps language again. Saying something to the other woman. He said Kyre is she the somebody he loves?

Romi explains something to Kyre who at first seemed furious with him as we came inside of the plane and he helped me on a seat and took his hand off from my shoulder, but, as she listened, her expression softened, she looks away from Romi for a moment. Thinking... She then looks at me and nods to Romi. "Are you alright Helen?" Kyre asks.

"I don't feel alright" I say to her. Kyre looks at Romi for a moment, she is worried but, I don't know of who. Romi then says something to Kyre "Ymmärrän täysin nyt..." Kyre says to Romi and they both kiss each other. Kyre's expression stops being worried, it is so warm and happy smile. Romi then turns to a native of this... China.

Romi asks from Kyre who is this. She answers something "En pidä tästä tilanteesta yhtään" Romi says "Anna hänelle mahdollisuus kun olet keskustellut hänen kanssa" Kyre says. Plane closes it starts moving as Kyre sits down next to of me. "Sorry that you had to go through that all" Kyre says using language I can understand.

"I don't understand what is going on" I say to her worried "It's okay, I didn't know before he explained and I asked from you" Kyre says "Are you who he loves?" I ask "Yes, how we came to be here... Well, it is quite a story" Kyre says and we both hear Romi raising his voice and having a disagreement with the Chinese man.

"Romi" Kyre says and Romi looks at Kyre. I see it now in Romi's eyes. Anger... I feel fear because of it. Romi calms down and breaths in then out. Romi looks back at the Chinese man again and they talk far more calmly now. Romi breaths in and out. They end the conversation by saying few more words.

"Hyvä on... Annan hänelle mahdollisuuden osoittaa että hän muuttaa ajattelutapaansa" Romi says clearly not content with the situation. "Thank you" Kyre says, Romi breaths in and out. Kyre stands up and goes to take seat next to of the man from China and Romi sits down next to of me. His facial expression has calmed down. "Please forgive me, we... Have different angle of seeing certain things" Romi says.

"I understand" I say to him and then plane takes off. It seems unlike how I first thought... Romi has things he will get upset about too... I... Somehow feel so much more closer of Romi again now than I did before.



Romi and Kyre are speaking Finnish. Probably was obvious from Romi's names that he is Finnish.

Ymmärrän täysin nyt... = I understand fully now...

En pidä tästä tilanteesta yhtään = I don't like this situation at all.

Anna hänelle mahdollisuus kun olet keskustellut hänen kanssa = Give him a chance when you have discussed with him. (Finnish language uses word Hän for both males and females however, in this context I translated it as him because the individual in this situation is male).

Hyvä on... Annan hänelle mahdollisuuden osoittaa että hän muuttaa ajattelutapaansa = Alright... I will give him a chance to show that he changes his way of thinking.


Commander_Night_17 t1_j9tiwl5 wrote

Heyy nice job

Sorry for taking so long

You've done well

I thought you'd stopped

(I honestly thought I was reading Vietnamese, not Finnish, thanks for clearing that up)


Aftel43 OP t1_j9tm216 wrote

It's fine, if you have something coming up on real life, focus on that. I just decided to write that one more then up to you whether you want more.


Commander_Night_17 t1_j9tmbeh wrote

Like I say to any of the writers here

Write as long as you want


Aftel43 OP t1_j9tmucn wrote

Right now, not in the zone to continue that but, for some reason I had an odd moment of dejavu what comes on your name and I scrolled through my history in here reddit and was just "Oh, that why".


Commander_Night_17 t1_j9tn1b3 wrote

Alright no totaly understand

Glad to be recognised

Just do me a soild and message me when you do?


Aftel43 OP t1_j9tosz1 wrote

We 'ill see, I was considering another PM for the upcoming saturday, one where I list most of my prompts I have written so far and see which ones people would want me to continue.