Viewing a single comment thread. View all comments

ineedabettertitle OP t1_j9hsxy6 wrote

"I need a better title." He simply said.

"You..what?" I replied, bewildered.

With a sigh he continued, "Look man, the publishing game is getting hard. New books on every subject are coming out at an ever-increasing rate. How many books do you think there are that are exactly like yours? Hundreds, if not thousands of carbon copies of your book. What you need is to be set apart from the rest. What you need is a better title."

"My title is fine." I responded defensively. "It works well, fits the theme. Like when have you seen a p-"

"It needs a BETTER title. Just listen to me. Your book is fine, it's obvious you're a good writer. Surely you can think of something else. Something...unique."

I paused in thought for a while, beforeI spoke again, "I had thought about using Growing Pains as a title. Maybe I can use that."

"It needs a better title! What are you writing about, pregnancy? Think of something good!"

"I don't know. Why does it need a good title anyways? The book is jus-"

"EVERY book needs a good title! I'm trying to help you here! A good title is the make or break moment in a book. The first thing a consumer sees! And you want to squander that opportunity with a mediocre title. I will not accept that!" My publisher yelled at me.

"Alright, alright. Well how about The Day the Starch Stopped Flowing?" I asked.

"What the hell are you thinking? Better than that!"

" you like, How to cripple a country in three easy step?"


I started just saying what ever came to my mind first."Dinner will never be the same."


"1845: Tater-less and afraid."

"What the hell does that even mean? Honestly, I had high hopes for you. It seems to me that I cannot continue to be your publisher." He slowly said, while standing up from his chair.

Angry and upset I gave him one final title. "How about The silence of the yams?"

A look of shock, then awe appeared on his face. "'s perfect. The pacing...the theming...the pun! Oh...this is amazing. I can envision it now. Millions of these books flying off the shelves., my good friend have found a better title."

He got up and shook my hand vigorously. And the deal was struck. I would have a published book, and my publisher would have a good title.