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grudthak t1_j8loqv9 wrote

The Arrangement had been going on between us for long enough that it earned the capitlisation of its' name. The Spectre would kidnap me, take me to his (current) lair and hold me until I was rescued. Sure, over time that has evolved into a text message 24 hours prior, my agreement to only put up a struggle when we were in the public eye, and he makes sure I am comfortable and fed before things get exciting; but that's why we call it The Arrangement after all.

Some folks will say... things; mean things about it. They have said that its all an elaborate ruse to cover an affair - something my ex was all-too-happy to believe when he ran off with that Hooters Waitress. Others called in a professional psych who claimed I had Stockholm Syndrome and a CNC fetish... ew!

But put-simply, we have a professional agreement and understanding; before he kidnapped me the first time, The Spectre had a hard go of it - hostages who had delusions of being Bruce MacLaine, and ended up like Hans Gruber...

Oh the movie reference? Yeah, thats what I do to pass the time in captivity; we watch movies together.

He's getting fidgety though, we already watched The Matrix AND Matrix Reloaded; not gonna lie - I hope we are interrupted with a rescue soon; or we will have to sit through Revolutions.

He's on the phone again to the Police Commissioner, repeating his demands; but I am noticing his heart isn't in it now, what's going on?

"They aren't coming"

"Wait, what do you mean They aren't coming?"

He shakes his head, I have only ever seen him this dejected once before, and that was when Ghost-Dog got ran over by a police car. This is... Awkward

"They worked out The Arrangement; they are refusing to either pay ransom or rescue you. They are calling you an accomplice."

Okay, this is worse; I have never seen him like this before, so hurt, so disappointed, so vulnerable... so hot?

Oh shit

"Well, if that's how they want this to play out..."

I reach out and touch his hand

"Maybe we can give it a try..."

He looks at me, his face hardening, shit - did I go too far? Suddenly he drops to one knee.

And pops me the question...

"I know this is sudden but... Would you sidekick me?"


99tsumeIcantsolve1 t1_j8luwb3 wrote

Why call them Bruce McClane, only to then not call them Alan Gruber or Hans Rickman?


chucklesthepaul88 t1_j8mlt6q wrote

What are you talking about? John Willis was an amazing actor for that role!


Potikanda t1_j8nxkfz wrote

"Uh, are you sure?"


"Oh. Well, okay."

does roundhouse kick



mekkanik t1_j8m6y5b wrote

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu…… that was awesomest


[deleted] t1_j8nkjn1 wrote



JetsonlikeElroy t1_j8nuf4b wrote

Why did you immediately believe it was an attempt to kink shame and not a dig at TV psychologists who diagnose without actual information about the patient?


IlikethequietZeppo t1_j8lqfyp wrote

You sense them in the shadows long before you see them.

"Hello Percival. How are are you today?"

"Perci...what!? I am TERROR-DACTYL! Terror of the night!"

"Oh Terry dear. Sorry I was expecting someone else You're early. Can I just finish my dinner? Join me I have more than enough."

"Was the rest for Percival?"

What was that tone? Jealousy?

Mildly amused, you avoid telling Terror-dactyl that Percival is your neighbour. Or more specifically, your neighbour's cat you were minding. Percival doesn't like you much and lurks in the shadow.

"We have no time for dinner. Come with me now, don't make me hurt you." Terror-dactyl points their freeze ray at you. Hesitating he smells the air.

"Is that Beef Wellington?..." Then very quietly "It's my favourite."

"No" Terror-dactyl continued "Fenik will be here soon. We must away"

"You're worried about my hero Fenik"

You dont know why you're still covering, this is the 11th time Terror-dactyl has kidnapped you. Surely he knows the connection between you and Fenik. Otherwise why would he choose you every time.


"Fenik isn't coming today. He's busy with a volcano on a remote island. Saving the locals."

Conveniently timed with your brother’s honeymoon, with his lovely new spouse Jay. Also known as Glacio.

Their teams had spread word about a fake volcano eruption, and how Glacio and Fenik were saving the day. So that Jay and Frederick could honeymoon in peace.

You sit down at the table and slice into the Beef Wellington.

"Fenik will return to save you anyway." Terror-dactyl said deflated.

"Nah, he said 10 was enough times. Next time I could rescue myself. I could, you know, rescue myself. Supposing of course I want to be rescued"

He looks at you perplexed.

"Powers are genetic. My brother didn't get them all."

You pinch your fingers on the unlit candle wick, removing your hand to show the now lit candle.

"Hero work never appealed to me, I let Fenik deal with that. Now last time we met, you said you'd teach me chess."


LimeSkye t1_j8mclpx wrote

For some reason, I see and hear the MC as Helen Mirrim.


IlikethequietZeppo t1_j8mel42 wrote

Ok. Not the same image I had in my head. I'll go back and reread it in her voice. 😄


LimeSkye t1_j8o3ipq wrote

Think of her character in REDS. Actually, I think in that role she simply played herself with guns. 🤣


Futatossout t1_j8mim67 wrote

I got Tilda Swindon, but then again I loved "Three Thousand Years of Longing"


FerrisTheRed t1_j8o82rv wrote

Came here expecting Megamind, left with new ideas.


IlikethequietZeppo t1_j8od2uy wrote

I haven't seen megamind, if it was the same it was pure coincidence.


FerrisTheRed t1_j8ogxm9 wrote

Not the same! Sorry, I didn't mean to insinuate that. I mention Megamind only because its plot somewhat fits the prompt; this story is an interesting alternative.


trevorforrestmusic t1_j8lg1q1 wrote

As the giant robot sentry lumbered out of the cell, I stretched out on the surprisingly comfortable bed to wait for dinner. My captor always insisted on the finest furnishings and cuisine, even for his perpetual prisoner.

Though the kidnappings were an inconvenience, a small part of me had come to look forward to these forced getaways from my ordinary lonely life. My apartment was so quiet and routine, day after day passing with little change or company. But here, I had Vilhelm's undivided attention, as dramatic and over-the-top as it might be. There was a thrill in wondering what new technological terror or scheme they had devised, a comfort in the predictability of their theatrical pontifications about foolish heroes and impending doom. I never feared the threats or traps because escape was never the point for Vilhelm. Only the performance.

Perhaps it was ironic that only by being repeatedly kidnapped did I gain a sense of connection with someone else, even if through overblown artifice. While the masked introductions were unnecessary repetitions, dropping my usual objections might ruin the fun for my captor. Vilhelm lived for crafting elaborate spectacles, and I for once had a role to play. The playacting was more than the nothing waiting back in my apartment, where the hours were undefined and spider mecha did not skitter across the floor on cue.

Still, after months of dramatics, I wondered what might happen if I convinced Vilhelm to unmask and step out of character for a normal conversation. To speak face to face not as captor and captive but as two people who had spent so much time enacting this strange ritual together. Perhaps without the pretense between us, my apartment would not seem so lonely or the days so quiet. But that might land me back there with only silence awaiting, this reprieve from the ordinary lost for good.

Was it time to shatter the illusion, or keep my usual objections unvoiced? For now, as another impressive dinner arrived, I would see how the performance unfolded. Real life could wait while scheming henchmen took their cues and threats of doom swelled anew. If playing prop to Vilhelm's plans granted nights of activity and company otherwise lacking, so be it. The world outside could always come calling soon enough.


IML_42 t1_j8lmmyt wrote

Why do they call it Stockholm syndrome?

If I had my phone on me I’d look that up. I can’t at the moment, I’m a little…tied up. Oh, yeah, you can’t actually see me. My hands are literally bound and I’m locked in a cage. Fun times. But it’s not so bad. Dr. BadBraun is actually a pretty cool guy.

Ok, sure, it’s a little sad that my most long-term and reliable relationship happens to be with a villain who consistently kidnaps me. So what? Don’t yuck someone else’s yum. We get along pretty well. He doesn’t tie the ropes too tightly, and usually doesn’t gag me—unless of course the scenario calls for that.

Scenario. Sure, I agree, that makes it sound dirty, like we’re roleplaying. And I suppose in a way we are. Not in a sexual way or anything. I know he won’t hurt me, not for real anyway, or at least not on purpose. It’s my role to look as distressed as possible when the hero shows up. And by god, am I good at my role.

I took acting classes to learn how to cry on command. Dr. BadBraun hasn’t noticed yet, or at least he hasn’t let on that he has—so withholding, that one. Why is it that guys always want to act like you’re not as great as you are? Are they all so insecure that they think you’ll drop them the second you realize your self-worth?

God, that makes me sound so clingy. I swear, I’m not clingy. I just—I work hard at this, and I wish he’d recognize the effort I put in to adequately fool the hero into thinking I’m in danger.

Speaking of the hero, where the hell is that guy?

This is why you never fall for heroes—they’re never where you need them to be. Talk about a job that should come with hazard pay. Have you ever been in a relationship with a hero? Jesus Christ! You might as well have a big red bullseye on your back.

“I don’t think he’s coming,” says Dr. BadBoi dejectedly. Oops, did I actually write Dr. BadBoi? I’m so bad.

“Should I scream?” I ask. “Or would it help if I begged for my life? What if I cried? Is this the one with super hearing? What if—“

“Would you just stop!” He interrupts. Rude. I’m just trying to be helpful. “I’m sorry. I—I didn’t mean to snap at you. It’s just…I’m under a lot of pressure here and I’m just so stressed. I haven’t been sleeping—“

“Shhhh….” My turn to interrupt.

“What are you—?” He says.

“Shhhh…You don’t have to explain yourself to me, Dr. BadBraun. I get it. I get you. Villains don’t get their due. Especially you. You’ve always been so kind to me. I think you get a bad rap. You’re so much more intelligent than those pesky heroes, and not to mention so much stronger! They’re just coated in plot armor!”

His face lights up. I love it when that happens.

Ok, ok, maybe my feelings are a little romantic. Sue me. I have needs. Who among us haven’t fallen for someone we shouldn’t? That’s what I thought. For your safety, please keep all judgmental thoughts securely inside your head until the end of the ride. Thank you.

“You’re right!” He says. “They’re all just caked in fucking plot armor!” Oooh, I love it when he curses. The heroes can’t do that. Those straight-edge phonies. One time when Mr. Stupendo—stupid name, right?— was saving me I heard him say the F word and he blushed. Can you believe it? He fucking blushed.

“You know what I’ve noticed?” I ask.

“What’s that?” He says. I’ve got his full attention. What a rare treat!

“Heroes tend to lose their plot armor when there’s a damsel in distress. You should try chucking me off the building to see if you can catch them off guard.”

“You’re not a fucking damsel,” he says. “For one, you’re a fucking middle aged bald dude, Allen, and for two, you’re my goddam sidekick and they all know it!”

Such harsh words! I can barely contain my surprise? Me? A bald man? Middle-aged? Heavens me. I know I’ve let myself go a little, what with the holidays and all, but to be mistaken for such a creature….it hurts.

I cry a little. Am I not a person? If I am wounded do I not bleed? Ok, so I’m a sidekick. Though, I prefer ‘henchman’ since Dr. BadBoi—did I do it again?—is a villain. But that doesn’t make my feelings any less valid.

“I’ll forgive that slight,” I say in a dignified tone. “But you’ve kidnapped me and brought me here, so you’ll at least let me speak!”

“My god, Allen, for the last time, I tied you up because you kept trying to hug me! You’re in timeout! If you keep this up I’m going to have to let you go!”

Gaslighting? Is this guy seriously gaslighting me right now? I know he isn’t trying to gaslight me.

“You kidnapped me! Not the other way around, mister. I won’t be gaslit in this way any further! Now let me say my piece!”

He rests his face in his palms. So presidential. He carries the weight of the world on his shoulders and only I can help him lighten the load.

“By all means,” he says. Such a gentleman. I told you, he’d never hurt me on purpose.

“Do you know why they call it Stockholm syndrome, doctor?” I ask.

He gives me a perplexed look. Oh to stump a genius such as he! He’ll surely love me for this!

“No, I don’t know why they call it that,” he says.

“It’s because the kidnapper has to Sweden the deal…” I say with a great big grin.

“I didn’t kidnap you!” He screams. He has such a fire about him.

I just love it when we spend time together. I hope he kidnaps me again soon.

Who am I kidding? I know he will.



ryry1237 t1_j8lo7dp wrote

I was imagining the MC as a very different character until that mid-story reveal.


The_gay_hooman t1_j8luiey wrote

Dang, Allen seems to have more then just Stockholm syndrome. This is a really fun read!!


IML_42 t1_j8lvhu1 wrote

Oh yeah, Allen is an odd duck, that’s for sure.


Aquariousity01 t1_j8lka05 wrote

I sighed, blowing a strand of loose hair outta my face. My chair was comfy enough, and the Decimator had placed my chair near his command center ages ago after I sat near the alligator tank for 3 hours, a new record. It'd now been almost 16 hours since he'd taken me.

Honestly, Decimator isn't THAT bad of a guy. After as many times as I've watched him do what he does, he does it to train the city's heroes. After all, the people who trained him are infinitely worse than he and if he's right about them coming here, the city's heroes AND villains need to be ready.

In the meantime, Deci and I have gotten to know each other very well. I know their favorite color is orange, like a setting sun. They love chinese food. And love watching Disney Movies. I'd starting having feelings for them after the 8th time they'd taken me. But as today was my birthday and Valentine's Day, I was feeling more courageous. Or possibly foolish.

Ahem I cleared my throat to get Decimator's attention. "I'm sure they'll be here soon," they said, voice modifier disguising their actual voice.

"It's been the longest time that Lightspeed has yet to rescue me," I gulped. If now was the time to shoot my shot, I have to take it. "Anyways, since it looks like I'll be here a while, do you mind...I don't know...tightening these ropes?"

Decimator went behind me, hands nearing my binds. "Of course, I wouldn't want you to...wait, what did you ask?"

I tilted my head back to look at their mask. "I asked you to tighten my ropes." The air became charged and almost crackled with heat and electricity. With a rough tug, the ropes bit more into my wrists and my arms held fast against the smooth wood of the chair.

"I hope you know what you've asked for tonight, I won't be going easy."

"Who said I wanted you to?"


hornylolifucker t1_j8lyek9 wrote

I was thinking of adding a plot twist where the Hero was the neglectful partner of the MC, and those two get it on after MC is left abandoned


CheekyMarmoset t1_j8mnaho wrote

Excuse me. How tf you gonna stop just as it got HAWTTT?!?! Please continue.


Aquariousity01 t1_j8muu9y wrote

Might put it on Wattpad where I can get a bit more....spicy 🌶🌶🌶🌶🌶 😉😈.


TA_Account_12 t1_j8lhi26 wrote

TW - dark ending.

“He needs to be stopped”

“What for? Out of all the criminals we have, he’s probably the most non violent. On our list of priorities, he’s right at the bottom of the totem pole.”

“You don’t understand. He’s the most dangerous of them all.”

“Ok let me look. Dr Death. Damages this month. 4 million. Citizens harmed. 8. 2 dead. Matterman. 15 million in damages. 3 people sustained minor injuries. Ah. Here we go. Heath. Hmmm. 35k in damages. No one dead. No one injured. Only 1 person ever kidnapped. Besides what sort of super villain calls himself Heath. Not even a supervillain name. I don’t know why you’re so bent out of shape over…”

Shadow stormed out. Normally you could barely tell when he came in and out. Probably his biggest advantage. But the door was closed so violently that it came off its hinges. No way it could have gone unnoticed.

“Idiot.” The mayor grumbles under his breath. “When he can’t argue with math, he throws a tantrum.”

The mayor then busied himself in looking at his polling numbers. It wasn’t looking good.

“You might as well drop the facade and let me out. Or are we going to talk from across the room again today?”

Heath looked up. Their eyes met for a moment but Heath immediately looked away. “Yeah. Uh. That’s not really locked. 3 clockwise and 2 anticlockwise. That will let you out.”

Shawna did as he asked. To her surprise the lock clicked and the door opened. “You do know that it’s a creepy wooing technique right? I assume that’s what you’re doing here.”

“No… I… I’m sorry.”

“Some supervillain you are.” She went to him, and sat next to him. The cave that they were in opened out to a beautiful view of the city skyline. The sun was setting and the sky looked like it was on fire. She looked at his phone that he held.

She raised her eyebrows. “What are you doing?”

“Oh. I… I accidentally destroyed a shop while kidnapping you today. Damages of around 35-40k. I’m just sending them the money back.”

She laughed heartily. It was like a roar of happiness and it made his heart flutter. “You really don’t know how to be a supervillain.”

“Well I’m retiring today. So it’s probably for the best.”

“You’re retiring? Why?”

“He was there today. Waiting for me. He knows I’m targeting you specifically. I tried to keep it random. But obviously he’s been keeping a watch on you continuously.”

“What do you mean he’s watching me?”

“I usually time my attacks based on when other villains attack. When he’s busy. Dr Death is in the middle of a major attack right now. But Shadow didn’t go to help there. He stayed, keeping a watch on you. I missed him, of course. Impossible to see him if he doesn’t want you to or if you’re prepared for it specifically. So he’s prioritizing stopping me over saving the dozens of people who are in danger right now. I can’t do that. I could never live knowing people came to harm because of me. He should be out there stopping Dr. Death. But he attacked me. Once I saw him, I was prepared of course. But the damages. I’m not a rich man. 50k is basically all my life savings. I wish I had more so I could try to compensate for the people Death is…” He paused, realizing Shawna was staring at him.

“You’re a supervillain. You’re supposed to do bad things to get money or power. Not empty out your bank accounts to help victims.”

“As you said, I’m not a good villain.”

“Why then?” Shawna took out her phone, put it on silent and placed it between them.

He looked at the phone.

She smiled. “It’s not recording or anything. Out here at the edge, I have a bar. Inside there’s no signal. As you’re probably aware which is why you’re sitting here to do bank transactions.”

“Oh. Yeah. That and the view is gorgeous here.”

“It really is.” But she shivered a bit.

“Oh I’m sorry. Let me.” He made a wrist movement, and a jacket appeared almost by magic.

“Thank you. Super cool.”

He smiled and stared at his feet. “Nah it’s nothing.” He looked out at the sky again. “It doesn’t seem like he’s coming.”

“I wonder why. Not that I’m complaining.”

“I hope he’s stopped Dr. Death.”

“If it’s the last time, I’d like to know why.”

“Why what?”

“Why do all of this? Who are you?”

“Well the second one is easy. My name is Heath.”

“Not your villain name. Your real one.”

He looked a bit sheepish, as sheepish as possible with a mask on. “It’s Heathcliff. My mom loved the classics.”

Shawna laughed. “What the fuck!!! You didn’t even change your name?”

“I didn’t really think it through! It was just a moment that I went insane. And I do want to apologize for that. I know I’ve caused you some real harm.”

“Not particularly. I’ve come to sort of enjoy our conversations. You’re obviously a smart guy.”

“That’s not healthy.”

“It’s not. But have you seen the dating pool out there? This isn’t even my weirdest date.”

“It’s not a date! I just… ok let me ask you this. Do you believe in fate?”

“Oh god. Now I’m starting to sour on you.”

“I know I know. That sounds weird. High school athletic meet. You were the basketball star.”

“How do you know that?”

“I… well… I was at the finals game. I went to St. Mary’s.”

“No way! Did you play?”

“No no. I wasn’t good at any sports. But I saw you and…”

“Creeping back into creepy.”

“I know! It’s not like that though. I saw you. And I know it’s a bit cringy. But I sort of fell for you. I never intended to see you again. I just knew your name. And I had your smile after the final shot. That was enough for me.”

“You should’ve said something.”

“I was there for 2 days. Then I’d be back miles away. Plus I… well… let’s just say you were always too good for me.”

“That’s silly talk.”

“I know we like to say that. But like, I couldn’t imagine why you would go out with someone like me. Especially since I was going to be gone shortly.”

“That’s quitter talk. What’s the worst that could’ve happened.”

“Nothing I suppose. Let’s just say I was a coward.”

“And then. You decided this was the best way to see me again. As I said, we’re strongly in creepy territory again.”

“I… I don’t know how to explain. Look I gained my powers when I hit puberty. But I was already bullied enough. I was already called freak by everyone. I just hid them. When I first… well kidnapped you, do you remember what happened?”

“I kinda do. There was bad weather and then… oh!!!”

“Yep. It was the day Matterman attacked. The building behind you was about to collapse. I looked across the street and say… well the lost, first love. I panicked. I just wanted to get you out of harms way. But then I imagined exactly this conversation and didn’t want to show you my face or tell you who I was. Because it was obviously creepy as you pointed out. So I just pretended to be a villain. The second time.. again I swear to god I just saw you. I just panicked again. You looked at me and I thought you recognized me. I just quickly put on a mask. People, including you got scared. And i just.. I don’t know why I did that honestly.”

“And then we got to talking.”

“I sort of begin to enjoy our conversations. While I’ve hidden my superpowers I still did want to know more about them. I had researched Shadow and other heroes and villains. I can sort of match up with Shadow as long as I can control the environment. Plus the whole he won’t kill works in my favour.”

“And today?”

“It seems that he has decided I am more important than actually saving lives. So I guess I’m saying goodbye.”

Shawna reached over and took off his mask. “Next time. Just text me. Look I enjoy talking to you. And just to be clear I’m not saying anything is going to happen here. But I’ll give you a chance to woo me.” Shawna took her phone and handed it to Heath. “Put your number in.”

Heath looked shocked. But he took her phone.

Tracking in progress

“Oh no.”


TA_Account_12 t1_j8ljmsg wrote

Shawna followed his gaze. “What the…”

“He’s tracking your phone. I…”

There was a thud behind them as Shadow stood there. The thud was a body that lay on the ground.

“All this over a fucking broad. You absolute piece of shit.”

“Look I can…” Shawna walked towards him.

“Shut the fuck up bitch.” Shadow snarled.

“Hey. Don’t talk to her like that. Or I’ll…”

“Or you’ll what?”

“I can beat you, you know. Our battle just an hour ago proves it.”

“Beat me once, shame on me. Beat me twice, not even possible.”

Shadow advanced.

Heath was prepared for this. The battle. He had planned out for the final battle whenever it would happen but not at that moment. For now, his plan had been to escape, allowing Shadow to take Shawna back to safety.

But what he was not prepared for was for Shawna to be out of the reenforced cage and in harms way.

Instead of attacking him, Shadow went for Shawna.

Heath realized what was happening and pushed her out of his way just in the Nick of time. He caught a blow to his shoulder and felt pain shoot through it. Dislocated. His ability depended on limb movement. He was at a massive disadvantage now.

But he didn’t care about that. “Shawna. Run!”

Shawna hesitated. But shadow turned towards her and she retreated. Her adrenaline blinded her to the fourth occupant of the room. She tripped over the body, looking into the vacant eyes of a man. From his dress it was evident that it was the dreaded Dr. Death. It was also evident that he was quite dead which was kind of ironic in an Alannis sort of way.

Shawna cursed under her breath, horrified at the sight.

Shadow moved towards her. Heath ran to intercept him putting his hand on Shadow’s shoulder. Shadow spun around quickly, took Heath’s hand and launched him across the room over Shawna’s head.

Shawna looked at Heath with tears in her eyes. She turned to Shadow. “Please stop! Let him go. He means no harm.”

“No harm? You know how many times he has escaped me the little bastard. Not anymore.”

With a burst of speed, he was next to Heath again. He wound up, and Heath saw a flash of something. The next thing he felt was wetness on his stomach. Followed by sharp pain. He heard Shawna scream.

He looked pleadingly at Shadow, utter defeat in his eyes.

Shadow smirked. “No witnesses.”

And darkness overtook Heath.

The mayor burst into his office, raging. “You fucker. Who is that?”

Shadow smiled. “Who?”

“The man you just presented to the media as Dr. Death. The public doesn’t know but I’m privy to a lot more details. That man wasn’t Dr. Death. He was someone else.”

“Oh really? Weird that Dr Death hasn’t come forward to refute that statement then.”

“What did you do?”

Shadow picked up the remote and turned the tv on. There he was, giving an interview on local news. “Look it went against everything me and the Mayor stand for. But the death toll and the damage was unacceptable. I…” Shadow pretended to wipe some tears. “I don’t like it either. But Dr. Death had to be stopped.”

The mayor looked at him. “Yeah I’ve seen that crap. What of it? I know that the damage wasn’t unacceptable. It got to that level because you didn’t stop him. You didn’t do your job. You were not at the site till almost an hour later. The media might be blocked from fight zones but I can still see all.”

“You notice your approval rating mayor?”

“My what?”

“Your approval rating. It’s up 20 points. It’ll likely subside a bit. But the election is in 1 month. I reckon this is enough. We’ll of course go out together and express grief and regret. Promise to have better monitoring so nothing like this ever happens again. Our policy of non lethal force continues. This was the one exception.”

The mayor paused. He opened a link on his phone. His approval rating was up 21 points now.


ElxirBreauer t1_j8lmmv5 wrote

Oh damn... He killed Dr. Death then went and killed Heath AND Shawna... That's messed up...


thoughtsthoughtof t1_j8lq6bq wrote

Could turn into mayor being the one not to accept n using power to like float him up, flip him and remove his life energy


The5Virtues t1_j8lpg62 wrote

I’m not sure I follow Shadow’s motivation here. He was mad just because Heath was the one he never caught? I was thinking he was in love with Shawna too or something, but after that ending I’m really confused.


The-Name-is-my-Name t1_j8mn722 wrote

He didn’t care about the lives of the people he saved. He just cared about the fame and fortune he got from heroism. He killed Heath and Shawna so that he could claim to have defeated a long-time rival of his, even though he didn’t.


chucklesthepaul88 t1_j8mo5wc wrote

My understanding was that the Shadow was secretly stalking Shawna while the city was in danger, and Heath saved her a few times. Sort of a creepy Batman with no morals?


RedDoubleAD t1_j8rziiu wrote

Awww… Now, I want Shadow dead what kind of hero name even is Shadow? That’s a villain’s name certainly.

I like it, got me invested; too bad you can’t always have happy endings.


Patterson-Rose t1_j8lxav7 wrote

"Well... you could at least buy me dinner first," Cleo joked awkwardly, the same joke she had made the last nine times she had been kidnapped by the super villain known as "Breaker." He never seemed to quite grasp the concept of jokes though.

An awkward silence immediately fell over them, Cleo fidgeting nervously while Breaker scrutinized her, a puzzled look on his face.

"I've bought you dinner countless times now," Breaker replied, eyeing her suspiciously as his lackeys tied her to the chair. He motioned for them to leave as quickly as they were finished.

"Well, thankfully that completely makes up for all the kidnappings," she scoffed sarcastically, "I don't even know why you bother with tying me up now, it's not like I'm gonna try to escape," sticking her tongue out and turning her head to look around. "New evil lair?"

"Brand new. I guess it wouldn't do any harm to let you walk around at least, considering that the heroes are most definitely on their way already," Breaker sighed, reluctantly touching the ropes that bound Cleo with the pads of his fingers. Said ropes immediately snapped, freeing the young woman from her constraints.

Before Breaker could stop her, Cleos hands clasped around his bicep, pulling herself up and using him to support her weight. "I'm not sure they're coming this time. Don't you think 19 kidnappings is a bit repetitive? They've got to be annoyed by now," she grinned up at him. "Show me around!" She demanded, not releasing her grasp.

Breaker stared at her incredulously, "you're too comfortable for this situation. You think that just because I haven't harmed you the last 18 times, I wouldn't have changed my mind? Perhaps to provoke the heroes, make them nervous about assuming things just because of repetition?" He asked, lifting the arm she wasn't holding and moving his palm slowly towards her face, the pads of his fingers centimeters from her skin. Ghosting there for a moment, he suddenly flipped his hand, awkwardly grazing her cheek with the back of his hand.

"So... what would you like to see first? We have a lovely garden at this new location. Or perhaps you'd be more interested in the planetarium," he suggested, already starting to lead her through the unnecessarily complicated hallways.

>this is my first time ever submitting my writing/letting other people see it! I hope this is okay :)


The_gay_hooman t1_j8ltqkz wrote

December 21st, 2022 The first time it happened was a large shock as you would assume, I mean who thinks they would be kidnapped? She was one of the more, oh how do I say it… Funny villains I guess. At the time, I was scared because I know she had killed before… but she didn’t harm me. She just… locked me up. The man who saved me that first fateful time was a large prick. He demanded I go on a date with him in return for him saving me. I declined… and so he harmed me. Verbally of course, it’s against the rules all hero’s have to harm a civilian. For some reason though, she was my safe space from his harassment… she would kidnap me and threaten me, as was expected of her, but she never carried out those threats. She stole me from my slumber, a burning building, when I was walking to work, when I was walking at night. Everyplace she had stolen me from had a major accident right after she did so though, which was strange. I wouldn’t say it’s regularly, as it’s only when I’m in trouble it seems, but I do get into potentially fatal trouble often it seems. I always had food and hydration, and was provided for when I was with her. Hell, I couldn’t consistently provide those things for myself. Last time she kidnapped me, I tried to talk to her. She was quite standoffish at first, but she still answered my questions. It was nice in a way, for when I was with her I didn’t feel so alone, and that helped with my panic attacks. I’ve been here for a week now, the two of us waiting for a hero to come and take me back.

January 1st, 2023 It’s the new year now, and still no one has come for me. I honestly don’t mind. I didn’t really have any friends, and all of my family members have already passed. Our Christmas was nice though, she let me explore her base, and we had a small feast. She’s actually a fairly good cook! I’m glad she let me keep my journal. It was very kind of her.

January 23rd, 2023 It’s my birthday today. She said we’re going to do a suprise, and I’m kinda nervous. I hope she doesn’t harm me in any way…

January 24th, 2023 YESTERDAY WAS SO FUN!!!! She let me chose a cake flavor, and she even helped me bake it!!! We also went to the park with the little petting zoo! There were goats there and they were so cute!!! No “hero” has come, and to be honest I don’t want one to. I learnt her name yesterday. It’s Elisa, short for Elisabeth. I feat I may be developing feelings for her… probably not though, it’s not like girls can like others girls. They always tell us it’s wrong, and they know the scripture. They are the prophets, so I doubt their wrong.

January 25th, 2023 I asked her what she thinks about homosexuality today during dinner… she’s actually a lesbian. I’m a happy, but I’m also scared. What if I do develop feelings for her… The “heroes” still haven’t come. I’m very happy, and I honestly think they may have forgotten of my existence.

January 31st, 2023 It’s her birthday today, and I’m going to make a distraction so I can make a surprise for her. I hope it works!! So far, it seems the “heroes” have forgotten of my existence. I’m in a very good mood today!

February 1st, 2023 YESTERDAY WAS AMAZING!!! I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND NOW!! Yesterday when I was trying to keep her out of my room, she thought I was trying to escape. So she decided to pin me against a wall to try and find out what I was doing. I’m glad for once that I’m both immensely stupid, and immensely stubborn. I refused to tell her, and then SHE KISSED ME!!! I’m not one to lie, so I blacked out after that point, but I know I ended up kissing her back. I don’t know how I managed in her room and in pajamas, but I did. Once she woke up, she asked me if I wanted to be her significant other, so I obviously said yes. So… I didn’t get to finish my surprise, but she’s happy, and so am I!!

February 14th, 2023 I’m going to ask her to be my valentine, and to go on a date with me. I really hope she agrees!!

February 15th, 2023 Yesterday’s date was AMAZING!! I’m so glad she kidnapped me that first time. If she hadn’t done that I don’t think I would have ever met the love of my life. I’m also incredibly happy that the so called heirs forgot about me, because now we can live in peace.


Pokerfakes t1_j8mrq6f wrote

Megamind: "Or else this will be the last time you ever see ROXANNE RICHIE!"

Metro Man: "Yeah, you've never once injured her, so why don't we skip all the nonsense this time? I've got a dentist appointment I need to get to."

Megamind: "You want to skip our fight for a DENTEEST!? Well, I guess that just shows who's the superior one of us. You're having dental problems from all the times I've nearly beaten you! MUA HA HA HA HA HA!" (Minion activates the "dramatic lightning" machine. Unfortunately, it's a bit slow.)

Metro Man: "Actually, no. I have a cavity. The dentist says it's from all the wining and dining that I've received." (Metro Man glares at the mayor.)

Megamind: "Eh?"

Dramatic lightning machine activates.

Megamind: "Minion! I thought I told you to stop using that thing!" (Megamind sighs, then presses a button on his remote. Roxanne's restraints release. Megamind places his thumb and index finger on the tape over her mouth. Roxanne nods, and Megamind yanks the tape off.)

Megamind: "Well, that was more anticlimactic than usual. Same time next Thursday?"

Roxanne: "Actually...I have an obstetrician appointment sooooooooo..."

(Megamind drops his hands. His eyes open wide, and a shocked expression shows on his face.)

Megamind: "You have a..."

(Megamind's expression changes to exasperation.)



FPSReaper124 t1_j8msijp wrote

The all too familiar click of a back-door lock being picked. A shadowy figure, blocking what little light was entering the room through the kitchen window.

I turned my wrist to look at the time. 12:45 am.

He was nothing if not consistent.

I finish my green tea, quickly flicking the bag away into the bin. I'd have to wash the cup later.

He took another step and I simply smiled and got up from my chair. I always liked to stretch before the next part.

"Vladimir" I said, nodding politely. I'd have offered out my hand, but his new cybernetic replacement likely would've broken a bone.

"Terry", he replied curtly. This was always his least favourite part, but he had to keep up appearances.

I felt, more than saw the sleep ray hit me, and then I was out.

"She's what?" I asked, exasperatedly. I had almost launched off of the couch, but the blankets were unbearably comfortable and my muscles were aching from their sudden shut down.

"Not coming". Captain Red replied in his deep baritone.

"That's Bullshit. We had a plan!"

He nodded solemnly.

"Was finally going to ask her. I finally had confidence."

"Fuck yeah you did dude!" I said in an attempt to console him. I was beginning to be able to stretch slightly painlessly, the massage mode of the couch seemed to be doing wonders.

"Look did she give you any indication why she didn't wanna be rescued?"

"I thought you would know, are you not best friend?" his poorly stereotyped accent might have been outlandish in any other given scenario, but I knew all too well he'd been created that way.

"Well I thought so, she tells me everything. Or nearly everything. I guess... Oh no."

"Vat?" the Captain asked, he was wearing a well fitted suit. He'd even swapped out his mechanical red claw limb for an advanced hand prosthetic so he could hold a bouquet.

"Vat you think is wrong Comerade?"

"I think we've been spending too much time together. She realises you aren't actually a threat."

His face became a mix of shock and awkward realisation. They both knew Lady Justice well enough to know she wasn't a fool, of course they'd gotten so caught up in their "Plan" they didn't even think about the fact she'd catch on.

"She probably thinks you are working for me, or even worse that this is all just bad prank."

He had a point but I didn't want to admit it. The last thing he needed was a blow to his confidence.

I experimentally moved my legs, swung them over the side of the couch and stood up. I was still a little sore, but I could move well enough and we had limited time.

"Does the Commu-car still work?" I demanded.

"Da. It is how I brought you here."

"Perfect, then you and I are gonna drive to Lady Justice's house right now and you are gonna ask her on that date."

Vladimir looked like he might throw up, but nodded. Nerves, it seemed even affected supervillains.

There was no time to waste though. I was playing cupid, and I wasn't going to miss, after all they'd been through, they both deserved a happy dose of happiness.


The Ride was short and full of reassurance and stress but they did finally manage to get to the Hall of the Heroic where Lady Justice had been living.

Now, I waited, as Captain Red, extravagant communist superhero approached the door of the love of his life, sighed and knocked.

She answered the door and he began to speak.


Tabnakorion t1_j8oagv3 wrote

I need a part 2. Does Captain Red get a date? I gotta know!


painstream t1_j8nqise wrote

The first time, accommodations were pretty sparse. A chair and some rope. I was scared, of course, but Red Dragon didn't yell at me to keep quiet or specifically threaten me.

"Don't take this personally," I remember him saying. "You were just in the wrong place at the right time. Once I have what I need, you'll be free to go."

He seemed proud, melodramatic even. Something about how his shoulders squared beneath his cape or the sideways glances he turned to me as he made sure I wasn't escaping spoke to me of a need for attention. From whom, I wasn't sure.

His "Don't try to talk me out of it" quip pretty much begged me to. So I, poor conversationalist that I was, tried. Was I keeping him talking, or vice versa? Not that it was hard to get him to talk about himself. So, I asked him questions. About life, about politics, about where he got the fancy outfit. The first two topics were met with frustrated monologues, but at least I could empathize with him, and, to be honest, I spent far too much time trying to "fix" him, because I can't stop myself from problem solving. It's a personal vice.

It was the third topic that garnered his attention. I have something of an artist's eye, so I could opine on the use of color and shape, the stitching and fabric texture, and he definitely had a sense of flair. I even asked for a closer look, which he was happy to provide. He was everything a classic villain should be, I'd say. Brazen, stylish, a touch manic ...ripped. I was jealous.

In the middle of providing a few light critiques of his outfit, one of Snipe Angel's gimmick arrows shattered a window and filled his warehouse lair with sleeping gas. I woke up at the police station and got a ride home.

The second time, I was back in the chair. We both played our parts. Me, the worried captive, and Red Dragon, the proud villain awaiting his nemesis. And some industrial fans. It seems he didn't want his conflict interrupted by another gimmick, but it was also a nice upgrade in the summer heat.

So we talked. "Got any podcasts you'd recommend?" He tried, and failed, to play it straight. I'd never thought a villain could get so excited about upcoming advancements in green energy. I quipped about water recycling, and he looked oddly at me. I was forced to confess that I needed to use the restroom.
I saw some brief surprise before his expression stiffened. "I might be a villain, but I'm magnanimous, not cruel. You can go. This time." I waved to Snipe Angel on my way back to work.

About a week later, the third kidnapping happened. No ropes, just a chain bolted to the floor. Instead of a stiff, wooden chair, there was a comfortable recliner. Behind it, a small room with a notch in the door to accommodate the chain.

"I won't tolerate any interruption this time," Red Dragon bellowed. "So, if you need to, use the private room." The mad lad installed a bathroom.

We talked again. Snipe Angel crashed through a window. For an archer, she was a very entertaining martial artist, too. Pink and white lace fluttered against the deep red and gold of Red Dragon's outfit. It was like an art installation all to myself.

Red Dragon was routed, and he fled dramatically. Snipe Angel set me free and checked on me. "You're not hurt? Is he treating you well?" After some assurances, she left me to return to work, and I went about my day. I really shouldn't have been so well adjusted to getting kidnapped.

Fourth time, it happened during my lunch break. The goons bought me lunch, and we chatted before they led me to the austentacious Dragonwagon. That part I didn't resist so much, but the valet had to threaten me for my keys so he could drive my car back to work. There was some new furniture that time. And a treadmill, to my chagrin. My fault, probably, as I said prior I was having trouble with my weight. Snipe Angel didn't break in through the windows this time, since Red Dragon had replaced them with stained glass. For ambiance, he said.

The fifth happened right as my work day started. My boss told me I was excused for the day and not to worry about my leave hours. I knew exactly why, since I may have mentioned all the kidnappings were draining my PTO. So, I spent the day with Red Dragon. I used the new kitchen to make gyoza from scratch, had a wonderful hour of power yoga, and help Red Dragon design some characters for a comic book he was planning. Snipe Angel knocked on the door. "Are you okay in there, Mr. Hale?" she asked without a shred of concern. After I said yes, I could almost hear her pout. "I'll be on the roof if you need me."

After that, the "kidnappings" were more frequent. Sometimes daily, but after work, to be considerate. Red Dragon became something of a personal trainer, and I became a confidant. Snipe Angel stopped showing up. Red Dragon started training me, and occasionally, I'd give the goons a hard time, for funsies. The game usually ended when the biggest lad, we called him Beretta, slugged me in the breadbasket. It took me months to stop buckling from that.

Which brings me to today. I bought the goons a spa day, double checked my rope, and slipped into my Stone Lion costume.

Today, I'm kidnapping Red Dragon.

It's Valentine's Day, after all.


ReddyBeeBop t1_j8myzzl wrote

Well here we go again. I'm being followed…and no one is coming to 'save' me this time. 
I almost didn't notice the shadow behind me even though I've been obsessively looking for it for nearly 2 weeks now. Sometimes I think it's finally time for my 'surprise' vacation only to realize it's just wishful thinking playing tricks on my eyes. I wonder where it'll be this time. Bali? Mexico? An isolated cabin in the Rocky Mountains? I hope so. 
Whenever he comes to whisk me away I always end up in some fantastic place I've never been before. The last time was 2 weeks ago and I finally got the courage to say something to the Masked Woman. She always interrupts me just as I'm about to make a move. I only just got him to tell me his name when she burst through the window of that romantic skyrise apartment in New York City. 
As she set me down safely on the street below, I finally asked her what her problem was. She tried to play it off with me, but I can see people for what they really are. She was jealous.
"Excuse me? Shouldn't you be asking HIM that? This is the 4th time I've had to rescue you from him and all I get is attitude. I saw the way you glared at me, maybe you should say thank you or I'll end up leaving you with that weirdo next time." She says, arms crossed and eyes seething with annoyance. From her body language it's clear as day to me that she wants to be the one he takes away. I may have only taken half a semester of psychology 101, but I still use it every day. She has to feel scorned. Having to barge in on us all the time like some sort of crazy stalker. I'd almost pity her if I wasn't so disgusted. 
"Don't bother." I told her. I know how she thinks after all this time. She hardly even looks at him, she simply whisked me away from my future husband and takes off. The first time it happened she knew to apologize to me for the inconvenience. But she just kept doing it. Over and over again. She wants him and she can't help herself.
"Look, I get why you like him. He's smart, determined, cute, shy and has a flair for the dramatic. Even more than that he likes to take things slow. He's a good man, but you can't have him. He. Chose. Me." I put lots of emphasis on those last three words. With girls like this, you can't leave anything open to interpretation and you have to talk really slow so they understand. 
She looked at me like I shot her. Right through the heart – I hope. She couldn't say anything in retort. She looked like she was going to throw up, her hand over her mouth like she was trying to keep whatever it was from coming out, a tear rolled down her cheek. Quickly she turned around and said, "I understand, have a good day" and flew off into the sky veering far away from the tower. I left shortly after. I'm sure the moment was lost for him as well, but I cleared the way for him. The next time he would take me with him, nothing could get me to leave him. 
All of our effort is finally reaching its climax. I cross the threshold into my apartment, not bothering to lock the door behind me or take my shoes off. It wouldn't have mattered if I did, he's more cunning and nimble than a fox, I wouldn't hear him come in. I wouldn't notice that he injected me with his specially crafted drug to incapacitate me – and I didn't. I only had time to smile when I felt myself losing consciousness. "I missed you '' I whispered before finally blacking out. 
When I awoke, I hardly wanted to take the time to appreciate my surroundings. My head was buzzing from the drug still, but my love was stronger. The smell of the ocean only confirmed that he's crazy about me, I'd only been once when I was a little girl. He must have known somehow that I would want it to be here more than anywhere else. Our first date. 
My hands and feet weren't tied this time. I stood up and turned around, looking for any sign of his presence. A noise in the kitchen sent shivers up my spine. Ice. In a glass. I can't stop myself, I rush into the kitchen to formally introduce myself; even though he knows me better than anyone. 
We meet eyes just as he finishes pouring his glass of orange juice topped with a healthy splash of vodka. 
He finally notices me from the corner of his eye and almost jumps out of his skin from excitement. " did you wake up so fast..? Must be because you're building an even stronger tolerance to it. Well, if you would kindly move back to the chair so that I can tie you up. I won't let her get away so easily this time.." 
He sets his glass down, and moves towards me like he's going to grab me by the shoulders in embrace. I practically jump into his arms, I can hardly wait to tell him the good news. 
"Oh, her? Don't worry about her, Billy. She won't be bothering us again, I told her how we feel about each other, she knows I'm who you really want." The words gush out of me, I tell him everything that I love about him. From how he hardly acknowledged me all of the times he had me in his clutches because he was remaining vigilant against the Masked Woman. The way he tied me up super tight and would put a bag over my head to muffle the sounds I was making. How he told me his name. Yeah, just everything about him. 
He stared at me, clearly overwhelmed with how much I adore him. I laid it on pretty thick. He deserves the best. 
"You…have got to be kidding me."
He must not be used to this kind of love. I'll make sure he never goes without it. 
"Listen, I think you have the wrong idea here. I'm not trying to spend time with you, I've been trying to get the Masked Woman to give me a chance. I – kind of have a huge crush on her. You just happen to have nearly the same commute as me, I followed you home one day. I used to write her. Like. All the time. Then she changed her P.O. box. So I had to change my approach. Make her come to me, perse." He just sat there. Confounded. No, dumbfounded. He's starting to see me for what I truly am. 
"Now that she's out of the way, we can move on with our lives together. You don't have to worry about me leaving you, or ignoring you. You make me look forward to every visit. Why would you keep kidnapping me if I wasn't special?" Let's see him answer that. 
He sat with that for a minute. He must be flustered. "You literally made no effort into avoiding it. I thought it was too easy to pass up, why risk finding someone new when I can go with a sure thing? You didn't even make the effort to lock your door…"
He walked past me. All the way to the way to the front door. He clicks the lock to the left, then to the right. "Do this from now on, and save us both the trouble. Now –" he clicks the lock to the left again and opens the door, "Please leave. I have to think." 
I take my rightful place by his side. "I'll be thinking only of you, my Billy Goat." I scratch under his chin, and he promptly shoves me out the door and shuts it. *Click*
Oh. This man…he wants me to make the effort. Next time, I'll pick the place.

IMLRG t1_j8o1msv wrote

Constructive criticism here. The formatting of this story ruins it for me. The font is weird, and the huge blocks of text make it very cumbersome to read. If this story was formatted well, I'm sure it would be a good read. But, for now, I couldn't get past the first paragraph.


ReddyBeeBop t1_j8oz25k wrote

I wrote it in google docs while I was at work, copy and paste put it in formatted like this.


Minaaven t1_j8nfqaq wrote

 I wake from bed. Make my way down the stairs. Enter the kitchen, and prepare a bowl of cereal. Delicious as always. 

"It's that time of the week" I thought. I could barely contain my excitement. Every week Caesar, our local 'Supervillain' makes his way into my home and steals me away to his hideout. I was pretty scared the first time it happened, but he turned out to be a pretty nice guy. After a few hours the superhero showed up and I was so relieved I could go home. Then next week he took me again. I thought that was a crazy coincidence, I mean he grabbed the same person two times, what are the chances. Then it happened again next week, then the next, and the next after that. 39 is my count. Today will be 40. I checked my watch. "Where is he" I said aloud, tapping my foot in anticipation. "he's never late." And he never was. Like clockwork, my door crashed in and smoke filled the room. I felt an arm around my waist and I was carried away. I couldn't help but smile. "Can I get you something to drink? A snack maybe?" He had asked. Always the gentleman he was. "Shouldn't the hero be here by now" I asked "it's been almost six hours." The hero was never late. Two hours was all it ever took for them to find me. Caesar was looking anxious. Pacing to and fro. He finished his preparations for the hero hours ago. "I'm sure that they are on their way" he reassured me. Though he seemed to moreso be saying that to himself. He gazed out the window and saw smoke was rising from buildings. He stepped back "where are they?" I rose from my seat and looked outside. There didn't appear to be any heroes out there. Buildings were crumbling. Bodies lay in the street. Villains soared through the skies. Then I saw a familiar face on the street. I looked over and Caesar was gone. I looked back out and saw him, an army in tow, match through the streets. My stomach churned. I couldn't believe this. He had never actually acted before. I was scared of what he might do. My fears were set to rest quickly as he launched into the air and tackled down a villain in the sky. He was dead on impact. Caesar made his way through the city ending villain after villain. With no heroes left, Caeser took matters into his own hands. Things quieted down. Fires were gone. Buildings stopped falling. But there was no sign of Caesar. I searched the city. The soldiers he marched out with littered the streets. I searched for hours. Finally I found him. He layed dead a block away from his base, surrounded by the bodies of other supervillains.


FerrisTheRed t1_j8of134 wrote

"Is that too tight? No? Okay, good. Just one more second... there. Good luck escaping now, m-muahahaa! ...-aahhh! ...-ahh."

She steps away, hesitant. I wiggle in my seat, making a show of "making myself comfortable" - it always seems to help assure Jos that she hasn't tied my hands too tight. Finally, apparently satisfied, she turns away from me and climbs back into the driver's seat.

"That foolish Owl will never find you this time! I've found the perfect spot for my new lair. The dungeon even has a sea view."

Once we get into the routine, Jos always gets into her comfortable flow. She's become really quite good at this part - the scheming, the drama, the rivalry. It's the kidnapping part that's always a bit of a struggle.

We drive in silence for most of the ride. I've been gagged, of course - or rather, "gagged," because the gag is just a bandana covering my mouth. Same one as last time, even. It smells like lavender. But we're doing so well this time, I don't want to trip Jos up. Besides, I know she likes to drive in silence, so that she can plot her next villainous escapades.

The drive can't be longer than 30 minutes, and I can tell when we're approaching our destination. No other buildings for miles around, and at first, even this place looks forgettable - just some abandoned, coastal warehouse. But beneath the facade of rusty girders and broken glass that make up the surroundings, I can make out signs of the actual lair hidden among the ruin: half of the warehouse has a fresh coat of paint (a lovely, deep burgundy), and a few windows are suspiciously clean and unbroken.

As my captor removes my bindings and bandana, I compliment her work: "Wow, Jos! The burgundy is so you, and that view is going to be lovely." "J- excuse me, the name is Banshee! And the colour is a dusty maroon, thank you very much. And why have we heard nothing from that useless Owlguy? He's always chittering at that radio of yours by now..."

Oh, here we go. I was trying to avoid this part, hoping she wouldn't notice. "Uh, yeah, Banshee, sorry... this visit may last a bit- er, rather, we may be waiting on my rescue. Owlguy is... defusing a bomb! In... Antarctica! Yeah, and it's a real slow one. May be a few days."

Of course I'm fibbing. Gerald is watching cartoons at home, and wanted to give us a few days to actually relax for once. And for Jos, "relaxing" means preparing traps for her nemesis, while I sip iced tea and watch the sunset.

"A bomb!? Curses, it must be that Dr. Filibuster again, testing that Instant Ice Age device of theirs. Ah, but that means I have time to prepare! What shall I... hmmm..."

"Yes, there will be time for planning, but you're forgetting a step. Don't we have a dungeon to get to, Josephine? Ah, I mean, Banshee?"

Jos' face briefly flashes red, but she quickly hides it (and the little smile that comes with it). "Yes, of course! The dungeon! That foolish Owl will regret leaving you to your own devices. Here, let me get those ropes off... and... ooh, you're going to love this place."

I don't want to get my hopes too high, but the last "dungeon" visit started with fondue and ended with Mario Kart. I think I owe "Owlguy" a favour.


Jesslyn204 t1_j8nm09c wrote

The villain for many people is the villain, for me he is my unspoken hero. He didn’t hurt me when he was disappointed, or when he was angry. No holes were punched into a wall because he was excited or happy. The only negative thing was the chain that was connected to my collar. I always have been a person that would rather stay inside then go outside and interact with people. Always exhausted when we came back from interviews and such. I was his lover, and yet he hurt me more then any partner should have.

Once the villain discovered that I was an indie person, that loved to read and listen to music the room changed from time to time. Books that were more my taste, cd’s, snacks and drinks were stocked. The collar became looser and looser until I was told I could take it off. With the instructions that I put it back on when the alarm went off, signaling that the hero was close. After the first few times something was installed that the chain would be longer when the hero was far away, shorter when he would be closer. And usually after a few hours the chain would be shorter and shorter. Everything comfortable would be shifted out of the room leaving it bare. The villain and I both knew that was for show, the hero didn’t. But every kidnapping it would be later and later that he arrived. Until finally he didn’t show up.

That was also the first time the villain set foot into the room. He had a sad look on his face and I didn’t know why, until he showed what was on the screen of his phone. The hero giving an announcement with a women besides him, the hand placement on his arm and the hero’s hand around her waist told me all I needed to see.

“I’m sorry, I don’t think he’s coming for you anymore.” He said sadness and confusion in his voice. I had tears in my eyes looking at the ring on my finger, my engagement ring, the one that clearly didn’t matter to the hero anymore. He had hurt me and this was his final act, and I was numb. Tears doing down my face as I didn’t know what to do. I was safe, with the villain. Ironic isn’t it.


Zephyreus t1_j8pbrqt wrote


The clatter of claws on the roof of the tower jolts me awake.

My eyes barely have time to adjust as the rope ladder thuds onto the floor next to my bed.

“C’mon, you know the drill.” Says a stern, woman’s voice from above.

“Can I at least get dressed first?” I call back up.

“Ugh, fine, but make it quick.” She says as she stalks away from the trapdoor.

I throw on the clothes and travel sack I set aside before going to sleep. I haven’t quite figured out her exact schedule yet –or if there even is one- but I think I’m getting pretty good at predicting her regular abductions.

I dutifully climb up the rope ladder, storing it, and closing the trapped door behind me.

She looks quite striking, perched atop her dragon in full battle armor, silhouetted by the moon.

She holds her arm out to me, but this is no formal dance invitation, more like beckoning a reluctant toddler to bed.

I make sure to give her black dragon, Titania, a few good scratches under her chin, earning me a lick and a face full of beef breath in thanks.

Titania kneels so I can easily climb up behind my kidnapper, ignoring her proffered hand.

She clears her throat, “You fools, is your security so lax that I may abscond with a royal without any resistance? You may never see your dear prince ever again…my dragon hungers!”

Her magically amplified words echo around the castle, but garners no response.

She spares me half a glance.

“Hold on.” She says as I wrap my arms around her waist.

Then, with a single word, Titania spreads her wings and we shoot off into the night sky.

I suppose I should back up and explain how I got into this ridiculous scenario.

My name is Jayne, you may have heard of me. I’m the second prince, third-in-line to the throne of our glorious nation. And my abductor is none other than Tarrah, the region’s dragon lord (but don’t call her the dragon lady, she does not like that).

She got tired of raiding and pillaging, so, after running short on gold a few years ago, decided to kidnap and ransom me back to my parents.

In less than a day, my brother –The Lord Protector himself, general of the army- arrived with a small retinue and a tidy sum from my parents. She treated me pretty well, despite chucking me in the dungeon, and I was surprised to learn she was only a few years older than myself.

I’m not sure what dragon lords usually spend their money on, but Tarrah liked to gamble. And gamble she did…poorly, running up an impressive gambling tab. A few months after my first kidnapping, imagine my surprise when I was plucked out of the saddle by a fucking black dragon during a routine ride.

My parents response was less than prompt this time, but they paid up after a few days. Gods know that if my older brother, or heavens forbid my sister –the “future Empress” (like I don’t get tired of hearing that about a thousand times a day)- who was abducted, they might have stormed the dragon lord’s keep immediately.

The third time was mere weeks later. This time was a bit of an ordeal, as Tarrah decided to ambush the ship I was traveling on. Titania singed the sails and Tarrah demanded me for ransom. I don’t think she finished her sentence before I was tossed into the water.

By this point, my parents were pretty fed up and sent my brother over again. This time, he had a much more sizable force at his back. It looked like they might actually have come to blows, but after seeing one full force breath from Titania, cooler heads prevailed.

They engaged in a few hours of negotiations, resulting in my parents agreeing to send a regular stipend to Tarrah in exchange for not interfering with the national economy. Note: they did not include any provisions protecting ME, at all.

I didn’t see Tarrah for about half a year. Then she abducted me from my bedroom for the first time, much in the same way I was this time.

That fourth time, it was weeks until I heard from them. And even then, they just sent a carriage with a token honor guard to pick me up.

Since then she’s showed up at the castle or wherever really to abduct me and whisk me off to her keep every few months or so. My parents only send someone to pick me up when they need me for some state function. I suppose I could walk back, but the nearest village is miles away and I’ve never been the most athletic person.

Tarrah claims that she gets bored, so she kidnaps me for her own amusement, sometimes concocting convoluted schemes to do so. However, I’m not so sure. One of her favorite pastimes is disguising herself and going to a random tavern or alehouse to hear the songs sung and tales told about her –often adding in her own embellishments.

But whatever the reason, she nabbed me yet again.


Zephyreus t1_j8pbt55 wrote

Before too long, the all-too-familiar sight of the Dragon Lord’s Keep enters view.

We land with hardly a jolt, Titania kneeling again to accommodate me.

“You know where everything is, see you in the morning.” Tarrah calls down, then takes off again to get Titania settled in for the night.

I greet several of her staff and attendants on the way to what is now, strangely, my bedroom.

I guess Tarrah felt pity or guilty or both but during my fourth stay, she let me out of the dungeon and let me stay in one of the guest rooms. I later convinced her to let me stay in one of the larger rooms, presumably for a family member, but I never heard about nor saw any of Tarrah’s family.

I unpack my travel sack and settle into bed, appreciating that it is both larger and softer than mine at home. I drift off to sleep thinking about what books I want to add to my bookcase here, which has been steadily growing over time.

One of Tarrah’s attendants rouses me from my sleep the next morning, several others help make me presentable for the day, yet another luxury not afforded to me in my own fucking home castle.

“Morning Tarrah.” I say to the dragon lord as I enter the main hall.

“Good morning Jayne, I pray you slept well.” Tarrah says, sitting back down as I settle in next to her.

“Yes, and you as well.” I reply, mouth starting to water as my eyes take in my breakfast.

All traces of formality have evaporated between us at this point and I dig into my meal. Delicious as always.

“Say Tarrah, I gotta ask you.” I say while sipping my after breakfast tea. “Why do you keep kidnapping me? I know it’s not for the money and don’t say it’s because you’re bored.”

“I- “ She starts, then clamps her mouth shut as her eyes narrow. “You’re feeling awfully comfortable, aren’t you? Asking me a question like that. You do remember whose keep you’re in right now, right?”

“What are you gonna do? Throw me in the dungeon again.” I say, throwing caution to the wind.

Her eyes narrow again and I wonder if she is planning on doing just that.

Then she settles back into her chair with a sigh.

“No, I suppose not.” Tarrah says.

A few moments pass before she finally decides to answer.

“Well, I- GODS, are you gonna make me say it?!” She says, slamming a fist against the table, making me jump.

“Well, it turns out that it’s pretty lonely being a Dragon Lord, and you’re one of the few people that doesn’t treat me like some sort of demon or…or a freak.” She says after collecting herself.

“What about the other dragon lords?” I ask, having never met one.

“Those guys, oh, they’re all assholes.” She says with a wry chuckle.

“And your servants?” I ask.

She fixes me with a level stare.

“You know as well as I do that the employer-employee relationship isn’t ever really a genuine one, not when money is involved.” She says with a growl.

“Ok, so you said I’m ‘one of the few’ just how many other people are you abducting on a regular basis?! I don’t recall ever seeing another prisoner or person who wasn’t in your employ.” I say, changing tack.

“Oh, well…I mean, you’re the only one I’ve ever really kidnapped, let alone more than once…” She says, averting her eyes.

“Wait…what?” I say, mind now reeling.

“Let’s just say that it’s difficult to meet people, in my profession.” She says, still not looking at me.

“Hold on, are you saying that you like me?” I say, wondering if I am, in fact, still dreaming.

“Argh, I told you not to make me say it…YES, I like you! I like spending time with you! And Titania likes you too, which is more than enough proof for me.” She says, finally able to look me in the eyes again. “So, I wouldn’t mind if you wanted to live here all the time.” She finishes, looking away again.

I’m so in shock that the only thing I can think to do is take another swig of my tea.

“Are you, are you asking me to marry you?” Are the next words out of my mouth.

“What if- what if I am?” She says, heat returning to her voice as she fixes me with a hard gaze.

“I mean, to be honest, I like you a lot too Tarrah. And Titania! So, I would say yes, well after getting to know you a little better.” I say, feeling my face flush.

Tarrah grins. “That’s what I wanted to hear.”

Oh yeah, did I mention this is the story of how I married a Dragon Lord?


beholder_dragon t1_j8shi7f wrote

Finally. My time to shine. Everyone thought that Sollestte was my only back pocket trick, but when your trump card has an entire Rogue‘s gallery to deal with and only 1 of them kidnaps you on the regular you tend to pick up on a few habits.

The villain in question is Lunoir, her ability is called starlight. It’s essentially shadow manipulation that looks like a black sequence dress. While you’d think her weakness would be light, it’s actually darkness. She also doesn’t expect much from me and so only typically ties me to a chair with a rope from a local hardware store.

I owe Roy a beer for weakening the rope for the kidnapping. I got myself free with little fuss and pulled my tools from my socks and sleeves and got straight to work. Superhumans while strong all have the same weakness: they underestimate those who have none. Say in this case for example, a friendly electrician who due to impeccable service has friends in many places.

It would be a shame if say, she was the last person on the grid, has a fuse box built within the room she uses to hold people captive with a safety box that holds night vision goggles, rubber gloves, a walkie talkie, and a bottle of water… shame for me that she kidnapped me before her layer was finished as Shelly was going to put the gloves here when she was done with the kitchen.

I took a minute to get a drink and put my shoes on my hands and flipped every switch on the board. I put my shoes back on, slipped the night vision goggles on, and chucked a walkie talkie to the other side of the layer exit.

I heard a slight scream and herd her coming. I slipped away behind a mattress and as she opened the door and saw the broken ropes within the light of her flashlight. I then started speaking into the walkie talkie.

“Oh Luuunaaaa”

Luna whipped around to the other side of the room.

“Luna, Luna, Luna. Did you really think I was caught all this time? Muhahahaha!”

“H-how did you escape? A pocket knife? You’re a fool you know, if you come out now, I won’t-“

“YOU WON’T WHAT? Tell me, I’m curious. Will you glair at me menacingly? Slap me around?”

“The darkness is my stronghold, I am more powerful now than ever”

“ if that were the case? Than why have you done nothing? Could it possibly be that you have no shadow in the dark?”

“…” Luna froze solid not moving an inch

“Silence I see, tell me? Solestte is a VERY protective and soft-hearted person yes? Of course you’d know this as her “self-proclaimed” arch nemesis. If that was the case, if I were you, I’d start to question why she would start openly seeing someone.”

“I…simple, she can save you whenever she needs to”

“Then where is she?” I begin to cackle wildly

“Show yourself, you welp! Everyone is scared of the dark because of me! I am the thing that hides within your nightmares! I am the thing that people fear when walking alone in the Forrest! I am-“

“Not a force of nature.” I chimed in

“What are you talking about you powerless beast?!” She screamed using the flashlight light to make some shadow claws.

She clawed towards the walkie talkie and when they brought it to her, the colour drained from her face”

“ Since I was a child, I have faced nearly everything the elements can throw at a person; frost, wind, rain, jade skies, tornadoes were a strangely popular one, and even a volcano. Solestte is open with our relationship because I am not dead yet. And let me tell you something Luna.” I stopped talking into the walkie talkie and snuck up behind her.

“You are no force of nature” I said as Luna dropped the flashlight.

She fell to the floor gasping. I then left her a little note pinned next to her head with a knife. I left the layer and walked out just as Solestte can round.

“No need this time. I got out just fine.”

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t get here on time, Cerborzoi escaped and she was running amu-“

“I told you it’s ok, I’m not mad. It was actually pretty fun. You should’ve seen her face though it was hilarious.”

“(Sigh) at least everything turned out alright. So what was her plan anyways?” Solestte asked me

“I have no idea, all I know is that she’s not going to try anything soon again”


Izrael-the-ancient t1_j8skpbn wrote

“So they aren’t coming ?”

“No, Golden warrior said that it’s clear that I won’t hurt you so either your my accomplice or my lover . “ Silver tiger said , she blushed at. The mention of lover.

For the past three months I was kidnapped by Silver Titan and used As a bargaining chip . The thing is I was never in any danger. She kept me fed and safe . In exchange all I had to do was put up a convincing struggle .

Thanks to her power called “hammer space” which allows her to hide people and objects within her one of the gems on her body. While this seems like a very powerful ability for a thief it had flaws.

The first flaw being that if people struggled in the gem she could feel it. Plus , the gem was shattered from the inside ,she would die . So this alone meant that she couldn’t just use it to capture heroes or people who put up a good fight .

The Second flaw was the fact gems were placed very awkwardly. One was on her forehead, on her sternum , and the final was where her navel should be. This meant to use them she had to expose the gems themselves. Which lead to some very annoying costumes .

Finally her body tended to convert anything inside the gems into different things if left in there for too long or if she got stressed. The in on her head converts things into information, the sternum converts it into energy and healing , and the navel converts it into physical additions . This she learned the hard way when her navel gem converted a tiger into retractable claws and muscles . Leaving her permanently at seven feet tall .

“Well, I guess I’d better let you out now” Silver Tiger said as she lifted up her shirt slightly to reveal the gem holding me. I was usually in her navel gem . It was a part of her threat to convert me, but also the safest gem since it’s converting takes much longer .

“ ugh , Marie wait” I said , I used her actual name for once leaving her a bit stupefied . “ look these past few years have been pretty awesome. You’ve shown me more kindness than anyone else in the world has.”

“ Wait really ? Hehe, you must have low standards for kindness” Marie chuckled. She wasnt actually wrong . I really did have low standards but with her I felt safe something I hadn’t felt in a awhile .

“ eh , it’s more like I know how cruel the world really is and you’ve done nothing but treat me with care. “ Once again , Marie blushed . All she had done was treat me like I was a living person not just some kind of disposable doll. Sure she was technically a villain but she wasn’t a killer , she was just a thief. If it wasn’t for the fact that my family was absolutely filthy rich , she wouldn’t have taken me repeatedly.

“Anyway , I really don’t want to go back to that house . So , if you let me. I can give you something you’ve wanted for a while “ Marie looked down at her navel gem confused . She hadn’t really told me what she really wanted . What she really wanted was to be a hero. But ever since the tiger incident. She was a wanted fugitive . “I-I don’t think there’s anything you can do to help me , you can’t change the past “

“But what if I could change the future” I said , before dropping my personal forcefield . Immediately Marie felt it coursing through her . The gem was converting my body Into physical gains for her. Only , unlike the tiger , I had a few tricks up my sleeve.

“ what is this , Are you alright ?? SPEAK TO ME! “ Marie asked , as she felt the same feeling she felt when the tiger was converted. She immediately felt a pang of guilt , her new friend dying in her gem. Only then she felt there was more . She felt stronger , faster , her skin felt more powerful .

“ don’t worry, I’m fine . I can regenerate . What you just felt was me lowering my personal forcefield so you could gain some of my power. So my deal for you is , we become a superhero team . Me giving you power and you the actual hero.” It wasn’t an absurd request, thanks to my regen and shape shifting , there wasn’t much she could to to kill me.

Marie pondered my request for a bit. With the powers I was offering her . She could have a second . It could give her a peaceful life too. But still she worried . “ I don’t know , what if I use you all up? After all the gem coverts anything inside after 24 hours. “

“Don’t worry , I once hid inside a crocodile for a week to avoid having dinner with my dad . I’m certain I can survive inside a gem. So do we have a deal?”

Marie weighed the costs in her head for a moment then she lowered her shirt . Hiding me in the gem from the rest of the world. “I think this is the start of a beautiful partnership”


Adventurous-Path-125 t1_j8tpxb8 wrote

"He should've been here by now..." The "Villain" pouts disappointedly, this situation has been playing for years, VJ kidnaps me, ,fight for an hour or 3 a couple of speeches would be thrown out and they would get back to it.

"Maybe he's busy fighting some other villain or something" I cross my legs since my arms and everything was tied to the chair. 'He better be or so help me'

"I was expecting him to come and fight me..." he stabs his sword to the floor. "I've never really cared for you if anything I’ve liked you." He waves his arms to all the weapons and guns pointed at me, half of these are just the designs I can't make that many weapons."


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HappiestIguana t1_j8lbd0m wrote

I think this is kinda the plot of Megamind.


ArbitraryChaos13 t1_j8lgaxl wrote

I was thinking that. Like... up until the last sentence, it's just Megamind.


Vroomped t1_j8mobjw wrote

Even the last sentence. Metroman just leaves Roxanne, and considering the campaign Megamind has following that she and the city was in real danger. At the least, economic ruin.


AkiTalks t1_j8lfhvt wrote

This prompt is actually pretty nice, wholesome even


lindre002 t1_j8nnocj wrote

At some point the hero just caught on that the victim actually is consenting towards the surprise trip to the lair and s/he's just beating the other guy literally for no offense or harm done.


RebbitFrog t1_j8ogxqq wrote

Everyone's saying Megamind but all I'm seeing is Princess Peach and Bowser