NOVEMBER

My hair fell away, my leg bones ached as some stretched and others shrunk, my hips and shoulders popped into new positions, my front paws twisted into strange talons, my muzzle pulled back, and my mind reeled with a new awareness.

Clothes. I needed clothes. I wasn't yet sure why, but it certainly seemed important. The strange woman was, thankfully, holding some out for me.

"They'll change with you," she said as I donned shirt and pants and trousers and shoes and realized that she was a woman, not just a human. And then I realized I was a human. But I wasn't a human. But I was now.

"Why... me?" I forced the words out like vomit after I'd eaten to much grass. I struggled a moment with how to move my legs, then what to do with my arms as I did, then what to do with my arms when I didn't, and wondered how humans lived like this.

"Because you were here when I needed someone." She patted my head, and I shook it off. "Here, put this on as well. You name is Lukas. Lukas Gareau. My brother."

"Why?" That one came easier.

"Because inheritance law is stupid."

I struggled to understand that, even as language was coming easier.

"It's not important. You are my brother, heir to our father, and will leave your home here in my care as your work forces you to live in a different home outside the area. I just need you to last through tonight, then I will return you to your canine form, and leave you meat at the edge of my property on occasion. Deal?"

"Sounds good." It felt almost pleasant to speak now. "Who are you?"

"I am your sister, Diana."

DECEMBER

I was supposed to be hunting deer with the pack, but something had drawn me back to her home. Some instinct, perhaps, of what was to come. As soon as the moon shone, I felt the change begin. It was painful, as much as the first time, but it seemed faster. I was seated on her steps, debating knocking, when she came out and startled at the sight of me.

"I thought I turned you back?"

"You did. But it didn't stick. I am trying to understand why."

"As am I, now that I know about the problem."

"Have you put out any meat?"

"Not as much as I planned. It's been a lean year."

So none, I thought, though my gut said this wasn't why.

"I think I should try changing you back again."

"I'd appreciate it."

JANUARY

I found myself once more at her property. I ate the small scrap of meat, barely a mouthful, before the moon rose. Somehow, I knew it would repulse me after. The pain persisted, but I was certain now it was quicker.

I glanced at the moon, the marched up and knocked on the door.

"Come in."

I opened the door to see her standing at a table with glass bottles and tubes, small fires and a few stone bowls. "I was worried you'd be back. Can't blame my lack of meat now, can you?"

"Ha, no. I know you kept it up. Though you can stop now if you need."

"No, I need to watch you as a wolf. It might help me figure out what I did wrong."

"I'm fine with it, being honest. I kind of enjoy the time as man."

"It's not healthy or safe. I'll sort this out. Just give me more time."

"The thing about being a wolf is that existence is all immediate. Hungry? Time to hunt. Thirsty? Let's go to to the river. Mating season? Time to make a buffoon of yourself picking fights with the other males and hoping that a female picks you."

"Doesn't sound that much different from most human men I know."

"Don't trivialise what I'm saying with humour please. Human existence is hell. I'm constantly thinking about what happened. What might happen. God, I'm constantly thinking about what might have happened instead of what actually happened. What's the point of that?"

"I guess I'm used to it. I don't really understand what you want from me? "

"I need more words."

"Really? You seem pretty articulate for an ex-wolf."

"Grrrrrhhh. I need emotion words. Ways to express the sheer frustration that is human existence."

"... ah. You want SWEAR words. THAT I can help with."

[removed]

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