So, chosen Servant. Show your Creator your Creation.

Speaking to the Lord never gets less nerveraking

If I wanted you GONE you would already be.

Light manifested behind me as it formed into the design of the greatest gift of nature to mankind.

But better

The black, grey, and white coat of a Malamute, the face and eyes of a Siberian Husky. Dense and luxurious and smooth as silk was its fur, now fluffier than ever. With the temperament of a Golden Retriever and the size of a small grizzly bear, it immediately laid on its back and began napping.

This is a worthy improvement. Truly, Thou didst perform well. Thou has granted me great joy in mine heart this day.

"T-t-thank You, Almighty Lord!"

Immense power began surrounding me as Soulflame of azure, violet, verdant, crimson, and more variety than I can imagine manifested into a tornado-esque form.

Before entering my form.

Eight new wings, of Soulflame, of violet, azure, white, verdant, gold, crimson, silver, and black.

The halo upon my head did morph as well, as it's simple yellow light roared with Soulflame, transcending into gold as did my entire form. As the Light calmed, the halo shined pure white, with the colors of the rainbow emanating around it.

I was now tall enough to gaze into another layer of Heaven.

HAIL the new crowned Archangel <Username>

God was standing there. I walked up to the giant figure, his body glowing alight. "My Lord", I said, "I have a new proposal for dogs." "Let me hear it", He said. "Alright, I believe that dogs should be able to transform into people temporarily. This is simple, I know, but it will benefit the human race." He stared at me. "This is all?" "Yes", I said.

"Do you understand that people would use dogs for...sexual antics?", He asked. "Humans can be irresponsible", He said, sternly. "I do, sir."

He made a face to show that he was pondering. He then replied, "I accept. From this day forth, dogs will have this ability. Good work." My face lit up. "Thank you, sir."

Never is easy as people think it is to improve on gods design every thing has a reason for being like it is, and changing things can often have unforseen... consequences. As I sit in the temple of confluence where, with a mere thought, you can see what would be if something in the universe had changed.

I started bold made it to were every person had a dog that would imprint on them and we're bigger and could protect them. The dogs got bread for war and nearly lost their all the traits thatade them family pets and the became cold killing machines who could snap at the slightest provocation of their master, or a simple command. After overpopulation and the fatigue of war set in the dogs who only knew violence and war were put down, as overpopulation of the dogs were causing food shortages.

Next I went for some thing smaller, in my mind, the ability to talk. This one was tricky almost on the cusp of not being a detriment but never pushing past the line. At first most dogs could only ever learn 20 or so words and hardly form proper sentences, and the ones who could still didn't have the vocabulary past that of a 9 year old. Adjusting the average intelligence of all dogs requires making their common ancestor smarter and ruining that high enough to bring that up to even a 15 year old makes them smart enough to survive on their own outside of a pack long enough to find a new one without going to humans for food so the adoption of dogs happened much slower stuning both humans and dogs for a long time. Losing many of the instincts of co-operation they never become main stay household pets, only ever used as work dogs.

Next I really took a step back and thought to my self and realized that the temple couldn't help me yet. I need to find dog owners and see what they think. Lots of ideas most of them bad but I tried them anyway. Never shiting isn't possible. Behavior changes are always a wash. You can't change bad breading because, I can't interfere with free will. But then one hit me, a longer lifespan. Increasing the average age a dog could live by 5 years doesn't cause much overpopulation the increased compotition for food caused wolves and humans to join together earlier. Forming a deeper bond. And advancing both to new hights bringing out the best of both.

It really was that simple only thing that could improve man's best friend, is more time with their best friend.

“Sir, for one, all our information suggests that the humans would prefer if they lived on earth longer. Most of them anyways. And if I may ask, what made you decide to resume this project?”

“Ah, you’ve probably seen the dust that looms over earth. Well, you were correct if you assumed this project was one from my childhood. I don’t know. The thought of dogs as man’s best friend just came to me, one day in the shower. I just got motivation to edit it, maybe I’ll look back on Earth and other childhood projects in more depth some other time. What other improvements do you have in mind?”

”Well umm some of the people you’ve made great great great great… well you get the idea grandchildren can be rather horrible to them. And dogs do seem rather wonderful. Perhaps you could increase their protection mechanisms? Apparently, some people abuse them.”

”Abuse? Wow! That was like a centillion ago in our place-time. Yah sure, good idea. Any other ideas?“

”Yah, not just defence against others, dogs are prone to getting poisoned, tumours, hip dysplasia amongst others. Maybe reduce them getting painfully ill in general?”

(End between here to edit, from part right before just did not now let me know if you want me to add more between here and i'll send you the reposted version in another sub)

You really researched and thought this through, good job.”

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Three all nighters and a can of RedBull had brought him to a conclusion.

He had examined the entire species and all its reported flaws. That was the first day and night. During the second he had diven deeper into these flaws and found that they were invented by imbeciles. He couldn’t say that though - they were God’s children after all - so during the third night, he got out a dictionary.

Some purple prose, worthless words, lengthy lines later, he had finally written his statement. This was the pile of crap he was about to confront God with. This was the pile of purple prose he hoped to convince him of.

They can’t be improved. God, you made them, so that’s why they’re already perfect. In the mirror of the smelly waiting room bathroom, he had been practicing his speech, practicing what he was about to say before handing over his paper. He put on a decent amount of lip balm as well, as he was about to kiss some ass in order to save his own. God didn’t like those with a different opinion. He fired them from their internship and then sent them through Hell’s fire as well. Unpleasant. He put on some more lip balm before exiting the bathroom.

“Sir?”

“Ah, yes son. What did you come up with, huh?”

God put on his glasses -yes, even He can’t see shit sometimes- and gently, but firmly grabbed his statement out of his palms. The intern muttered some of his well prepared words but to no effect: God was reading, not listening. No, God can’t multitask.

He read slowly, with an almost painful tempo. The intern started falling asleep but was shaken awake by God’s sudden Mmmmmmmm… yup, yup yup yup.

“So what do you think, sir?”

“I think your opinion is garbage and you should just die.”

I should have put some lip balm on the paper as well, the intern thought. He didn’t know what to say, so didn’t talk.

“Kidding!”

The intern forced a laugh, louder and louder until God slapped him. Softly, but still: he slapped him.

“It’s still really bad though, but no need for death.”

“So what do you suggest?” said the intern.

God seemed to hesitate for a moment.

“I propose you,” he pointed at and eventually touched the interns forehead, “go fucking die! HAHHAHA”

His joke fell flat, as if it came crashing down from heaven onto your plate.

“Your joke fell flat” it just came out of his mouth. He laughed to disguise his fear.

God didn’t.

God grabbed the intern by his collar and threw him out. He came crashing down from heaven, onto some medieval person’s plate.

The medieval person stormed away. “I have too much on my plate!”, he said, giving birth to the famous saying.

This is its origin story.