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ruraljurorlibrarian t1_j8tui71 wrote

Reply to comment by everythingisunknown in [OT] Poetry Corner: Fire! by OldBayJ

I like your topic here and the way divinity becomes a personal characteristic. I like the imagery that connects earth to body to eventually fire/creation. Especially love the salt/earth connecting to grains.

I think your last line is good but I might go with hellfire rather than "hell, in fire" because I think the hell connects better if it comes right after and makes for a more succinct ending.

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everythingisunknown t1_j8tv6e3 wrote

Thank you! I actually considered hellfire originally but felt it didn’t have enough punch but that seems to have been to my detriment, I appreciate the feedback and will take your advice on board for the next one :)

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