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Not_theScrumPolice t1_j96gte8 wrote

Fire

There's a fire in my heart.
Where it sits and writhes and burns.
And I tire and I tumble from the venom that it spurns.
Does the world I interact with see me kindly or with hate? Would they rescue me, or watch me as they leave me to my fate? Could I stand up to the bullies and the terrors in the night? And how do I discover if these dogs will bark or bite?

There's a fire in my brain.
When I'm tired and depleted.
So I wonder and I ponder of the ways that I am treated.
And do I so deserve this? Should I find a clever quip? Fight back or scare it off —force the narrative to flip? In my favor or against, do I really care at all? Is the likelihood of victory still worth it if I fall?

There's a fire in my stomach.
And I'd rather it was not.
It feels queasy and uneasy and discordant in that spot.
Should I even bother then, to investigate this state? Would it let me turn the tables or already be too late? Can I force it, can I chase it, from the darkness of this pit? Can I stomp and scream and holler, or erase it with some wit?

There's a fire in my eyes.
And here it feels okay.
I will use it and peruse it just a little if I may.
Let me find the clever meanings. Will they answer, will they fuel? Will they understand my gesture or decide me to be cruel? Can I keep them dancing maybe, to the rhythm of this beat? Let me coax them ever gently, to their imminent defeat.

*************

WC: 284

Edits: formatting and the likes

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Lost_Carcosan t1_j9958kl wrote

I really like this! I like the way the lines lengthen as each stanza goes on but the rhyme scheme holds steady; It makes it feel like the pace of the poem picks up, rushing feverishly forward. The narrator is burning up over how he will be perceived and whether he will succeed or fail, but is able to use that fire nonetheless. I think my favorite line is >It feels queasy and uneasy and discordant in that spot.

where I feel like the rhythm really pays off.

I'm not totally sure what 'trope' means in the context of your third line and maybe a different word could pair with 'tire' there? Might just be me missing it though.

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Not_theScrumPolice t1_j99qlcj wrote

Hi there Lost_Carcosan!

Thank you for your feedback! I'm glad you enjoyed my poem. Good catch on the meaning of 'trope' not being entirely clear. I've replaced it with tumble.

Thanks again!

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