For years, I've had a mob enforcer following me, watching my every move, occasionally giving a warning look as I'd do something I thought was normal. I'd be mid conversation and a glance would tangle my tongue and start me sweating. I'd be eating in a restaurant, and he'd cough, making me worry about if I was chewing loud, or if I might be looking at the wrong thing as I ate.

I couldn't talk about him to anyone, and I couldn't just sic police on him, or they'd just send another guy, or do something worse. I never knew what he was there for. Did I offend someone? Did I represent some threat? Was it just for their amusement? I still can't say.

So I told my self not to worry, then that I wasn't worried. But how do you not worry about someone who will, someday, beat you to death? How do you live with that?

Only, it wasn't a man from the mob, it was my own mind, gnawing at me like a rat. And now... It's so quiet in here. It feels wrong now, it's terrifying now, but this? This is something I can get used to. And I will. And I can finally live.