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Omnizoom t1_j9r0mbu wrote

The barbarians blood was dripping from the tail of the beast now cowering in the corner

“He literally just impaled himself running at it didn’t he “ piped up the ranger “ it didn’t even move at all , was he expecting it to swing its tail around to defend itself or something?”

“ sigh , intelligence was never his strong suit but this takes the cake, oh Mistress Muriel , Mark is dead , again”

The holy cleric walked forward from the raiding party over to marks corpse before looking up at the dragon in the corner who had “killed him”

“ shouldn’t we uhh deal with that before we think about resurrecting someone , it isn’t a fast spell “

The wizard walked forward toward the dragon , taking heed of the spikes

“ I don’t think this beast is much for battle, it’s very much awake but it didn’t even take an aggressive action , just bared it’s spiky behind at us “

The wizard stroked his beard

“ does anyone speak dragon by chance? Mine is extremely rusty… smart creatures you know…”

The entire raiding party just stood silent

“Anyone?…. No? Well fizzle sticks… I hope I don’t say something offensive…”

The mage walked toward the front of the dragon and began speaking

“ uhh excuse me, hello , I know you are awake , do you mind uhh having a chat “

The dragon rolled over , it’s wings covering its face

“ go away please, I’m sorry your friend is hurt but please go I’m not a monster “

The wizard was shocked “ oh , you speak common tongue , that would make this easier… uhh how do we say this , we were sent to slay you I’m afraid , terrorizing the town and what not “

The dragon lifted one wing up to look at the wizard “ I haven’t terrorized anyone , maybe ate a sheep or two… but I haven’t attacked any people… I was just hungry , I will just leave and go to another cave or ruin and you can say you did your quest “

The knight leading the party spoke up “ well uh , we are kind of supposed to bring your head back, but I mean you are a dragon right? Why are you not fighting back or anything “

“ because I don’t want to fight , I already said I’m not a monster… humans scare me because they always attack me…. So just please leave me alone “

The group chatted amongst themselves as suddenly the raging scream of the barbarian continued as he was brought back as he stood up he looked back and forth and at the dragon , he raised his axe and let out a piercing battle cry as he charged forward again onto another of the dragons spikes, dying again”

“ for the love of god mark “ shouted the cleric “ someone help me drag his body outside of the cave so this isn’t a repeat occurrence”

After shuffling marks body outside the group returned to the dragon

“ back to the matter at hand” the wizard started “ what shall we do about you… we can’t go back empty handed you know…. “

The dragon let out a sigh “ I know , but everywhere I go the humans always want to attack me and I just fly off to another cave… “

“ you know the king could use a dragon “ the knight spoke up “ Even if you are not a fighter… well just the idea of a dragon in the kings army would help to bolster fear for invaders… why don’t you come to the kingdom “

“ really? Even if I don’t want to fight? That would be wonderful…”

The dragon looked over to the mage

“ do you happen to have any good books for me to read there ? I’m honestly more of a book wyrm”


Zagreus7777 OP t1_j9r1g1s wrote

AHAHAH, the punchline at the end got me, wonderful work!


Omnizoom t1_j9r27iy wrote

It was all a lead up for the punchline lol


MikeColorado t1_j9r7eub wrote

Go ahead take my upvote. Well done, did not see that coming.