“Who?” I ask, causing the three people in front of me to freeze up.

“Wh-what do you mean?” One of them, whom I took to be some sort of leader, despite all pf them being dressed in bear identical religious attire, asked.

“I don’t know who you’re talking about.” For some reason, the confusion on my face seems to stun them into silence.

“You don’t know… who Jesus is?” The one in the backs asks, the shock in his tone making his words seem as if they left without his permission. Just why were these guys so high-strung?

“Sorry, I don’t go out that much these days. Is he like an actor, or an athlete or something?”

“N-no. He’s the son of God. He died for our seems and guided us towards the righteous path in life.” The last one answered, his voice tinged with the barest hint of frustration. It seems ai accidentally hit a sore spot for some reason. By the way, all of these guys’ voices are really similar for some reason, what was up with that?

“Oh, really?” I said. “He sounds like a pretty cool guy, I would love to meet him. Is he around here or something?”

Hearing this, their faces shined with a silver of hope, as if someone had finally shown them the light at the end of a very long tunnel. I just couldn’t get these people at all.

“Yes, yes!” Their leader excitedly said, “Of course he is. He is everywhere around us, in every house and in every heart.”

“What? So this guy just breaks into people’s houses?” I ask, concerned.

“NOOO!” they all shout in perfect unison.

“He’s not actually, physically there. It’s more like, his spirit is.”

“Ooooh, I think I get it now.”

“Y-you do?”

“Yeah!” I answer. “Jesus is a ghost that haunts people, and you guys are like, door-to-door exorcists, offering you services.”

It seems I didn’t get it after all, since their faces dribbled down into a particular brand of despair I haven’t the human figure was capable of communicating.

“Look, you three seem like nice guys, but you really gotta tidy you act some more.” I sternly scold them. Sometimes people needed a bit of tough love to be able to show off what they’re capable of. “You just aren’t doing a good job at communicating what your whole deal is about. Nobody is going to hire your services, at this rate.”

Seeing I was only making them more miserable, I tried to sweeten my tone a bit. “Hey, cheer up. You’re only just getting started! It’s a big world out there, I’m sure you’re going to find your footing somewhere. Good luck going forward!” I waved them goodbye.

“Wai-“

One of them tried to say something, but the slammed door drowned out whatever he had to say.

Going back to the living room, I am greeted by a tall, olive-skinned man with long luscious hair and the slight beginning of a beard, currently giving me the side-eye. I promptly ignore it, lounging myself on the couch and grabbing the nearby wine glass from the coffee table.

“You really should stop messing around with my followers, you know!” Even when chastising me, his voice was serene and pleasant, like the sound of gently falling water. I find myself getting more relaxed just hearing it.

“I can’t help it, it’s just too funny to se their reactions.” I admit without an ounce of shame, earning a slight sigh in response.

“You’re not going to go to Heaven like that, you know.” Oh, it seems he brought out the big guns. There’s not really anything I can say to that, so I immediately backtracked.

“Sorry, sorry, don’t get like that now. You have to admit though, they can get a bit annoying sometimes.”

That earned a tired laugh out of my current housemate. “I really commend them for their strong fate, and of course, I love them dearly, but I admit they can get a bit too ‘extreme’ sometimes. At least they mellowed out in the last century or so.” He picked up his own glass, grabbing the nearby water bottle. As he began pouring, the glass was filled with the sweet ruby-like liquid I so enjoyed. I tried not to think about how I was technically drinking his blood. “Sometimes I wonder if I could have done something better, you know? Steer them towards a better path?”

“Hey, don’t sweat it. It’s not your fault, really.” I assured him. “Some people just get like that sometimes, they get so into their hobby they become obsessed and it takes over their whole personality. It’s just the effect that a para social relationship can have on some. You can’t really change that, but you know? At least they’re not as bad as idol fans.”

“Thank Father for that!” He replied raising his glass towards me, with an unceremonious toast, I dig into that heavenly nectar, making sure to savor every second of it.

“About your Father.” I changed the subject. “I don’t want to you to get the wrong idea pr anything, you’re a great guest, but I was just wondering how long was it until you can come back to the High Place?”

Jesus’s expression became briefly lost in thought as he swirled around the wine in his hand, before taking a sip himself.

“I can’t say for sure. Could be a couple of days, could be a couple of months. It’s really hectic around there right now. You said you don’t want to hear about the complexity of the situation up there, so…”

“And I still don’t.” That kind of high concept stuff sounded to bothersome for me too care, so I just kind of refused to think about it. I mean, I was pretty sure the people I just spoke to back there weren’t quite human, but I’m not one to fuss about stuff like that. ‘Live in the moment’ that’s what my father always used to say.

“Once again, I’m sorry for imposing on y-“

“Stop worrying about it” I brought my hand forward to cut him off. “As long as you kept spoiling me with this wine, you’re free to stay here until the Final Judgment in my book.”

“Thank you!” He said, caught halfway between amusement and genuine gratitude. “Now, you said you had a TV show you wanted to show me?”

“Sure do.” I say as I grab the remote with my free hand. “You’re gonna love this, I promise.” I assured him as I searched ‘Saint Young Men’ and hit play.