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SomeWeirdoOnTheNet t1_jdh18yd wrote

Gandalf, grading papers: "You shall not pass, you shall not pass...

raises an eyebrow

"you definitely shall not pass."

Gets to Fred and George Weasley's paper and chuckles

"I must try that with my fireworks"


Meanwhile, in the Shire

Dumbledore: "Take my arm Frodo. Hold tight."

aparates to Mount Doom with the hobbit

Frodo: "I think I may throw up."

Dumbledore: "You'll be fine, Frodo. Now, be a good lad and toss the horcrux into the lava."

Frodo, dropping the One Ring over the edge: "That was easier than I though."

Dumbledore: "Hmmm, better safe than sorry."

pushes Frodo into the lava too

1,775

Mautos t1_jdhawkv wrote

That was my first thought too. 9 hours of movies would just not exist if they could teleport like that.

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W1ngedSentinel t1_jdhh1c6 wrote

Don’t they have to go somewhere first before they can teleport there? I’m not a Harry Potter fan but I’ve heard that’s how their teleportation spells work.

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TheHumanPickleRick t1_jdia2zy wrote

Dumbledore is basically the Obi-Wan Kenobi of Harry Potter, he could probably apparate to Mount Doom based upon a sufficient enough description from Elrond.

#POP

they appear over the lava, Dumbledore lets go

#POP

Dumbledore appears back in Rivendell

"It's done."

"Where's Fro-"

"OBLIVIATE!"

"Thanks for destroying the Ring! Ten points to Dumbledore!"

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salimeero t1_jdig5e2 wrote

You're not thinking back far enough.

"Oh no! Some dark lord named Sauron is amassing a lot of orcs and dark magic!"

#POP

clears throat ...whispers... Avada Kadavra.

#POP

"Not anymore."

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SpoiledAzura t1_jdilaif wrote

Huh, would the ring count as a horcrux?

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NextEstablishment856 t1_jdizquh wrote

It's pretty well the same thing with extra steps. Sauron poured all his hate and malice into it, and it kept him from being fully destroyed. Terms and process are a bit different, but the result is the same.

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Nevadajack87 t1_jdjkb8n wrote

If he poured all his hate and malice into it wouldn’t he be absent those emotions? Without the ring maybe he’s a good dude?

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NextEstablishment856 t1_jdjmgka wrote

Maybe when Isildur chopped off his hand, he was like, "Whoa, thanks man! I was really having a bad—" but then he got stabbed, so all that was left was what was saved with the ring. The ring was originally supposed to be, like, really good therapy.

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TheBigOrange27 t1_jdim3is wrote

I feel like it's pretty similar, though seemed more likely to create new dark lords from corruption rather than resurrect Sauron.

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Burnsidhe t1_jdivyv1 wrote

It is in fact a horcrux in HP terms. Sauron died, all that was left behind was the One Ring, which was forged with a piece of Sauron's essence. Because his spirit was anchored to the One Ring, Sauron was able to slowly reconstitute himself over centuries until re-emerging in Mirkwood, then being driven out of Mirkwood and returning to Mordor.

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jointheclockwork t1_jdl9tnb wrote

It's all in the same vein of a magical knick knack that keeps the bad guy alive like a lich's phylactery or Koschei the Deathless's needle.

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jaorocha t1_jdjrbg6 wrote

The thing is "magic" in The lord of the rings universe is really limited, and finite. Sauron, gandalf and saruman were higher life forms(maiar) and couldnt do things at will.

Saruman was completetely powerless by the end of the return of the king because he spent all his "magic".

As soon as the "new gandalf" have Access tô unlimited magic you either have sauron and saruman being granted the same prínciple, or the story becomes completely Dull because there wouldnt be a conflict.

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UndeadPhysco t1_jdke3wp wrote

> Saruman was completetely powerless by the end of the return of the king because he spent all his "magic".

I thought Saruman was powerless because upon his return Gandalf essentially "outranked" Saruman and subsequently stripped Saruman of his status and power?

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jaorocha t1_jdkmwrg wrote

Gandalf out ranking and breaking his staff is more of a narrative tool tô help us understand his "upgrade" after being reincarnated on a stronger body.

Saruman, much like sauron and morgoth, put his essence into The things he created. Most notable The uruk-hai, but also his own version of a ring of power. They couldnt tap into a infinite power source like most magic users usually do.

As an example: morgoth, as melkor, was The strongest Vala - valar were "gods" that ruled under eru, The all powerful God of middle earth. Melkor was constantly jealous of Eru creations and ever since The beggining he tried doing his own. His power wasnt enough tô create things per se, so he corrupted,reshaped. This made him weaker as The time went by, because his essence was embbed into his work..

3

mrzinke t1_jdl44do wrote

Gandalf's magic (and all the other magic users) is different in LotR than other worlds. They actually create new laws of reality/reshape reality with their statements, because they tap into a tiny portion of Eru Iluvatar's power of creation. They can't create whole worlds/continents like Eru could, but they can shape reality still.

When Gandalf tells the Balrog 'You shall not pass', he's making it a fundamental truth that the Balrog will not pass that spot on the bridge. Now, the Balrog has a similar level of power and could find workarounds, but it would not involve just passing where Gandalf stood.

In this context, this is what he says to Sarumen in the books:
'Behold, I am not Gandalf the Grey, whom you betrayed. I am Gandalf the White, who has returned from death. You have no color now, and I cast you from your order and from the Council.'
He raised his hand, and spoke in a clear cold voice. 'Saruman, your staff is broken.'

He doesn't cast a spell, he speaks and it becomes true. He just says his staff is broken, and it breaks. He says Saruman has no color (power) and he no longer does, because, yes.. he totally outranks Saruman now because he just cast Saruman out of the Wizards completely.
And this is the LIMITED amount of their power they are allowed to use on Middle-Earth.

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CremasterReflex t1_jdkpsmd wrote

Well I’m not very confident that take is supported by the silmarillion….

4

Mautos t1_jdhhfcf wrote

I haven't read the books in a looong time, but iirc, they do actually need to know what the area they want to teleport to looks like. So I guess some kind of picture or maybe vision could be enough.

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Bean_Juice_Brew t1_jdiar1a wrote

Someone has not read Hogwarts: A History! You cannot apparate and disapparate anywhere on Hogwarts school property.

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EndorDerDragonKing t1_jdiby0m wrote

Wait, hold up, so Mount Doom is on school grounds?

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Bean_Juice_Brew t1_jdic5dp wrote

Might as well be, ask JK Rowling and she'll tell you that was always the intent of the book

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EndorDerDragonKing t1_jdico60 wrote

"... And over theres the womping willow"

"What about the mountain professor?"

"Oh that? Thats Mount Doom, we have a class there where you learn to make enchanted rings, Slazar Slytherinf was the one who came up with the idea"

"Whys it called Doom professor?"

"Its an active volcano my boy!"

"In scotl-"

"In scotland yes. Dont think about it, its magic"

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Mautos t1_jdict68 wrote

Lmao what about it? It's not even in the same world

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Bean_Juice_Brew t1_jdid4fi wrote

I was just being a smart ass

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Mautos t1_jdie3ea wrote

No worries, deep down, we're all smart asses

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Maleficent_Tree_94 t1_jdil5f7 wrote

Not all of us. Some of us are just normal asses.

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yax51 OP t1_jdjuspi wrote

Some of us are neither, but we do have a great ass

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Hellolaoshi t1_jdkdb48 wrote

Yes, perhaps. However, the land of Mordor in general and Mt. Doom in particular, was not exactly easy to access. I don't even remember if Gandalf had been there before in person. It was very hard to get to Mordor by yourself. Frodo had to meet Shelob first, and pass through her web. I mean, you wouldn't exactly go there to have a picnic on a Saturday afternoon. It wasn't a holiday destination. You wouldn't be able to sit there in the sunshine, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, and drinking your martini surrounded by beautiful women. Female orcs would be available instead.

I am not saying it would be impossible to teleport there. But it would be a lot harder than going to ghe Shire, or Rohan.

2

Mautos t1_jdmirqd wrote

Okay, just one more thing I was thinking of. I might be wrong, but didn't Frodo have some kind of vision of the tower of something after putting on the ring?

If so, for Dumbledore there's a decently easy way to see others memories. If not, ignore what I just said lmao

1

Hellolaoshi t1_jdq4gvr wrote

Maybe. But I remember that he was able to see the Ring Wraiths' true shape when he wore the ring.

1

DragonLordAcar t1_jdi5652 wrote

Enchanted items have set destinations but teleporting just requires a clear picture but is still risky if you have never been there because you never really know a place unless you have been there. There is also the risk of leaving body parts behind if you are untrained which is why there was so much supervision teaching it and why several other methods are so widely used even by people who can teleport.

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KCCCellist t1_jdkdlbx wrote

No you can freely teleport in Harry Potter. However there are enchantments to ban teleportation in some areas, including hogwarts, so you would have to leave the grounds in order to teleport.

3

mazurzapt t1_jdi43rc wrote

You have to admit ‘Shadowfax’ was fast though.

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Troll-Tollbooth t1_jdifg33 wrote

Showed us the meaning of haste.

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Aozora404 t1_jdko0ln wrote

And the meaning of shadow.

Did you know that the outer part of a shadow is called the penumbra?

1

jvin248 t1_jdirhwu wrote

Yes! That was the same idea spark I had:

"None of you kids are passing! I would not let a Balrog pass, and so what makes you think any of you shall pass?"

"And what is it with all these micro-staffs? You cannot wallop an orc with a wand. Get a big stick like this, learn to swing it around, you fools!"

Meanwhile

"You elves don't have a Sorting Hat? How exactly are we to choose who will be on this Fellowship journey?"

"And shouldn't these Hobbits still be in school?"

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TheFinalStorm t1_jdkoxuk wrote

He'd probably think they're house elfs and try to make them clean up.

8

DanganJ t1_jdicq9a wrote

Dumbledore has not had good luck with magic rings, and he's not nearly so noble as Gandalf. I doubt being anywhere close to that ring would result in anything other than a new teleporting instant death cursing dark lord that rides a broom around at night.

Some rando: "It's the witch!"

Dumbledork: "Don't assume my gender!"

A now groaning rando: "No, he wields the corrupting power of the The One Joke!"

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emasterbuild t1_jdidmbq wrote

meh, he's pretty anti dark magic though, at least by the end of his life.

4

DanganJ t1_jdidwbu wrote

I just don't expect he'd be able to resist as well as a hobbit. That ring thing is tempting after all. Look at how shiny it is.

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CremasterReflex t1_jdkr8j9 wrote

We have to consider whether or not we believe him when he says his vision in the mirror of erised is a warm pair of socks.

3

General-Art-7153 t1_jdl8dzz wrote

He will create the most comfortable socks known to mortals in Middle Earth and from his throne of comfy throw pillows he will cast it all into darkness... except for those who ally themselves with Gryffindor. They get 50 points.

2

LeftDave t1_jdkgvw2 wrote

It's important to remember he was Dark in his younger days, #2 to his generation's Voldemort. His sister getting killed by a killing curse he cast was what 'redeemed' him. And even then, he still wanted the Deathly Hollows until he met Harry and he raised Harry to be a magical suicide bomber.

He'd totally fall to the Ring's temptation.

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Hellolaoshi t1_jdk88h6 wrote

That makes perfect sense. If required to replace Gandalf, Prof. Dumbledore would indeed think of the One Ring as a horcrux.

7

zernoc56 t1_jdkcdb5 wrote

Except that doubt that he’d be able to resist its corrupting influence, he is but a Man, who above all else desire power.

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CremasterReflex t1_jdkrilo wrote

Well, if you believe him in book 1, Dumbledore desires socks above all else.

6

sisisisi1997 t1_jdkiw3b wrote

But we also need to consider that Dumbledore would need to resist the ring for like 12 seconds before he tossed it in lava.

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FireweedPheonix t1_jdjki7c wrote

He totally would. He has no qualms with sacrificing people for his greater good.

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NirriC t1_jdk9ori wrote

This. This is the perfect one. Everyone (including me from before) thinks Dumbledore is a saint. I hold that he is an even worse monster than Voldie. That's why Voldie fears him. He's just too bored to do anything noticeable. But he has the mind and power to do horrific things.

6

JustNick4 t1_jdjh3bu wrote

Reading this on a public toilet trying to hold back laughter! Good one!

2

JohanPertama t1_jdgqhdg wrote

An owl flew in as Dumbledore shuffled yet another stack of parchment on his heavy oak desk. There was just too much paper work left over from the whole incident with the chamber of secrets.

"Just leave it on the table..." He droned before gasping as the owl transformed into a dishevelled old man.

He jumped up instantly, grabbing his wand and readied himself to do battle.

"Animagus! Who are you and how did you breach my wards?!"

Radagast cast a disinterested look at the elder wand pointing threateningly in his face, before strolling over to the shimmering phoenix on its perch.

"Your master isn't winning any friends with that attitude"

"Answer me, you fool!"

"I go by the name of Aiwendil, tender of beasts, bird friend and yes, sometimes the fool. You can call me Radagast however. I think that's what you men seem to most commonly call me. Does that answer your question? " Radagast droned whilst smiling at Fawkes.

"And the wards?"

" Your wards were powerful. Very commendable indeed for a man of your stature. But really, they weren't designed to repel a being such as I. Not that ... "

"wait.. what are you? ", Dumbledore warily ventured. Gripping the elder wand just that little bit tighter.

" I'm an Istari. A Maia of Yavanna. But that's too much backstory. Just think of me as an emissary from a distant land who comes in peace. Take a seat we've much to talk about."

Dumbledore slumped over. It's been a long time since he'd felt so vulnerable, let alone in his office. His safe haven never felt so unsafe.

A thousand thoughts ran through his mind before being interrupted by the warm buttery sounds of Madam Rosmerta's best sloshing into some mugs conjured by this intrusive being.

" So, I've come to talk to you about a scheme I've been thinking of. See, we're about to be punted off to this place called Middle Earth. We're supposed to stop this dark lord you see. But we're bound by this nasty little restriction not to directly intervene with feats of power. I've found this splendid little loophole however. Our restriction only applies to Middle Earth... "

Radagast paused for a moment surveying the graven face of Dumbledore before finding it satisfactory.

"...I'm proposing a switcheroo" he finished.

" Why should I even entertain this scheme of yours? "

" Well, besides establishing a trusted alliance with a higher order of beings, we'd be able to fix your dark lord problem easy peasy, and our dark lord problem shouldn't be too difficult for you either... Come on have I drink and I'll fill you in. You'll be there and back again before you know it"


Dumbledore awoke next in darkness. A being of shadow lay dead beside him.

"What in Bertie Botts..."

"At ease old man, I Gwaihir the windlord will take you where you need to be. But first clothe yourself."

Dumbledore hurriedly dressed himself in the white robes handed to him. The words of Radagast echoed in his head.

" You are now Gandalf the White. Your task is but to create a distraction and ensure the dark lord keeps his gaze upon you. Limit your show of power to keep appearances but keep the king safe. Remember the King is Aragon son of Arathorn ... "


Gandalf sat up in a desk unfamiliar to him. Another one of the Fool's schemes it seems.

He should've known better than to trust drinking whatever it was that Radagast gave him. He eyed the crumpled note he found in his hand. But the letters seemed to dance around as his head pounded.

"Albie, you've some visitors from the Ministry of Magic." exclaimed a stern looking face that peeked in through the study door.

" You may let them in"

A pompous looking man strode in with an excessively puffed up chest. A tag on his chest simply read C. Fudge.

"Sleeping in the office again old man? Rest easy, the Ministry of Magic has it covered"

" Chocolate Fudge? " Gandalf blurted.

"Please don't. I don't care if you disrespect me. Just please respect my office." Fudge irritatedly exclaimed.

"Just sign this for our guards to protect your school and I'll be out of your way." He continued.

Gandalf sighed and scrawled the parchment handed to him. Eager to get all his visitors out so that he could read the note.

" That Fool...." He muttered under his breath


Radagast sighed as he chucked his palantir into a drawer full of baubles and trinkets.

His shed illuminated by a bird covered in flames.

" Well, that worked out better than expected. Now go back Fawkes. I'll need you to nudge Olorin in the right direction. "

" He needs to work fast before Manwë notices the discrepancy and binds his powers. With luck it'll all work out"

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fieryxx t1_jdhlffg wrote

I love this. Im not sure if it was intentional, but I love the implications that gandalf the white is that way because he became Dumbledore and that from book 3 onward the reason Dumbledore changes is because it's Gandalf

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nephethys_telvanni t1_jdhjx22 wrote

Radagast as the instigator made me laugh.

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JohanPertama t1_jdhlslv wrote

Hehe the real joke is that the switcheroo happens where Richard Harris was replaced with Michael Gambon and where Gandalf suddenly starts displaying a bit of magic in the movies.

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jpreston2005 t1_jdi0x5b wrote

> I'm an Istari. A Maia of Yavanna. But that's too much backstory.

lmao

15

PsychoLLamaSmacker t1_jdi6qqg wrote

Please keep writing this

5

JohanPertama t1_jdid55t wrote

I would but I've fakked it up with a bit of a timeline inconsistency already 😅

I'll leave it up unedited however

9

mrmoe198 t1_jdl26c0 wrote

I love all references you sprinkled in, like, “there and back again”

2

tigertealc t1_jdhzqtl wrote

The allure of knowledge and power should not have been forgotten, especially concerning those who have both the ambition and prowess to usurp it. When the Council of Rivendale agreed to trade Gandalf for Albus Dumbledore, it initially seemed a wise course of action. Gandalf would go to Magical England to inspire the wizarding community to rally against the evil of Lord Voldemort, while Dumbledore would use his unmatched magical abilities to defeat the hordes of Mordor and aid the ring bearer in his journey to the fires of Mount Doom.

Ever faithful to his task, Gandalf diligently pursued his task; however, in Rivendale, the folly of their trade was made apparent as the council briefed Dumbledore on the expedition. Behind those half-moon glasses was an arrogant and foolhardy man. For he saw the ring not as a burden for others to carry, but as a problem that he could overcome himself. In his eyes, there was no magic strong enough to overpower him.

The opportunistic ring shattered the necklace holding it captive by Frodo, flying towards the wizard’s blackened hand at the simple word, Accio. At that instant, a revelation crossed Dumbledore’s mind: not only would he rend the forces of evil in Middle Earth, but he would do the same in England. None could stand in his way. With a pop, the wizard vanished, leaving the fellowship stunned.

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jnovel808 t1_jdjln1b wrote

If the ring is off middle-earth then Sauron is out a whole lot of power and can possibly be defeated.

5

C00lerking t1_jdjiqm5 wrote

I freaking love this idea.

The HP Scene:

Gandolf to the Dursleys: Is he secret, is he safe? Dursley: yes, we keep him under the stairs.

Gandolf: good. But can you bury him more deeply?

Dursley: well I assumed you were here to take him off to Pigpimple magician world.

Gandolf: bring him to hogwarts? The Horcrux? Are you insane? I might as well march the ring right off to Saruman. No, actually, if we can just kill him here, that may simplify many things.

The LOTR Scene:

Frodo to Dumbledor: the armies of Mordor are coming and Sauron is on the loose. The ring wraiths will be here any day. What will we do Dumbledoor? Should we assemble a bunch of heroes?

Dumbledor: Mudbloods? No need. I’m a real wizard with actual magic. We’re going to take the flue network to Mordor and conjure a patronis right up old Sauron’s butt.

20

mrmoe198 t1_jdl2pek wrote

Hilarious, I love it! But are you purposefully misspelling both Gandalf and Dumbledore?

6

C00lerking t1_jdl9vn4 wrote

Nope, I honestly don’t care enough to look them up 🤪

−3

mrmoe198 t1_jdnaihs wrote

Well, you apparently don’t care enough to just look upwards either because the prompt itself has their names in it 🤣

1

C00lerking t1_jdxflzw wrote

All that scrolling hurts my thumbs.

1

mrmoe198 t1_jdyi8oz wrote

I think that sometimes it would be useful in life to have “I don’t give a fuck” energy. It’s exhausting being so serious all the time. I wish I could change that about my brain.

1

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1

stillnotelf t1_jdgh6va wrote

Gandalf strikes me as uninterested in education, although he'd curbstomp Voldemort.

Dumbledore canonically puts on cursed rings he ought not to.

This will not end well unless Gandalf trains Hogwarts as an army and leads them back to Middle Earth to confront a resurgent Sauron.

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TheDwiin t1_jdh3vk5 wrote

A resurgent sauron who has access to a Wizard as a Nazgul.

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oh3fiftyone t1_jdi79nm wrote

I feel like Gandalf in academia would be more of a researcher who found actually teaching to be an annoying necessity best foisted upon aides. He shows no reluctance whatsoever to dive into the books for literal years at the beginning of Fellowship to research the ring. I agree that he’d handle Voldemort in an afternoon, though.

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stillnotelf t1_jdi7ieu wrote

Uninterested in educating others, perhaps. We agree.

5

FawksyBoxes t1_jditupp wrote

I could also Gandalf scoffing at the way other magical beings are treated. Wizarding society is kind of an asshole to any one who is not human. Only allowing humans to have wands, house elves are slaves, etc.

4

[deleted] t1_jdi10jd wrote

Gandalf saves hogwarts and dumbledore gets everyone killed

4