Ever have any of those moments where it just feels like life is playing one massive prank on you? Well, apparently I was 'blessed' with the power of a moon goddess for no good reason. Coincidentally, I was getting mugged or robbed at least 10 times a week. I knew the whole cadence about how it all went, and Artemis(yes, the no-man-may-look-upon-me-and-live Artemis) beat their asses. I was getting tired of this, especially with this mugger standing right in front of me.

"Hand over your wallet, phone, and keys before I shoot you in the fucking face!"

"Dude, you know what happened to the others. Take a hint and leave."

The dumbass was obviously loaded, meaning he was just trying to rob me so he could rob me. A complete mistake. And it turns out he knew exactly which goddess decided to watch over me.

"Oh really? What's she going to do, flash her ass at me?"

I heard that ever so familiar chime warning of impending doom for the poor bastard.

"Well, it's started. Ten."

The dumbass looked around, trying to find a source of the chime. He wanted to know what had started, however he saw some silver mist floating above my shoulders that got clearer as a woman's voice rang out.

"Nine."

Unfortunately, this set the dumbass over the edge.

"Zero. Time's up."

He raised his pistol up at me, however I quickly turned the barrel away from my face before wrestling it out of his hands. He pulled out a knife, however by that time I had shot him in the face. He dropped like a stone and I promptly called the police. After a while, the killing was deemed self-defense and I was let go. Soon, I went home, and there she was, waiting for me. And by the looks of it, Artemis was pissed.

"Paris, we need to talk," she sighed.

"What is there to talk about?" I was having none of her BS about being more gentle.

"Why did you do it? You know I'm here to help you."

"Fat load of good that's doing me," I snapped back. "I can defend myself as you so clearly saw!"

"Paris, you shot and killed a man—"

"Just like you would have done to me if I wasn't the one you decided to take care of!" I shouted back at her. I had enough of this. "You would have shot me for refusing to turn into a woman just because I saw you, either as a human or as a deer!"

"Damn it, Paris, I told you not to bring those times up! I was a misandrist dickhead back then, sure, but I've changed!" Now she was angry. Good, I still needed to vent to her.

"Not that much, considering you're just pissed I killed him before you did!"

"Please! Every god and goddess changes! I mean, sure, you had me, but I've improved, and hell, I even found out I'm bi, but take Allah, for instance! He used to be extremely homophobic and hateful of God and both of his religions, but now the man's supporting gay rights all across the globe! He's even helped support charities about getting rid of al-Qaeda, Daesh, the Taliban, Hezbollah, the Houthis, any group terrorizing the Middle East! He got the US to return home from there and has even helped Iran and Iraq lose their religious dictatorships!"

"Then why aren't you helping him?"

"I can't be in two places at once and I swore to help you throughout your life, so you'll have to deal with the fact that you're stuck with me."

I sighed, shaking my head. This was too much for me. I walked off to my room, deciding to take a nap. She peeked her head into my room, knowing that I was just having one of those moments. Thankfully she was much calmer than before.

"I'll wake you when dinner's ready," she gently said to me before closing the door.