"... and then you could usurp the power of Azkab Sherelar! That artifact is basically ripe for the picking. And soon thereafter, the world shall be yours! They'll kneel before you, their new king, Bobarator!"

He hasnt stopped talking about the staff of Akzab whats-his-face since hours. I don't even know how he knows about all these things and why he hasn't tried stealing them... y'know, in his own lifetime. But no, of course he has to torture me in mine with these stupid ideas

"For the last time, I told you my name is Bob! BOB! Not Bobarator or Bobus the terrible. Just Bob. I don't need some fancy villain nickname, Kevin!"

I could already hear the protest rumbling. Since Kevin didn't want to call me by my actual name, I have decided to give him a nickname of his own. A boring one, since he insist of naming me something 'cooler' than Bob

"You seem to not treasure my gift Bob. This gift of power I entrusted on you"

"Oh, you mean these things like hell flames, black hole generation, and mastery above all critters of the dark, like bats and crows and the like? You mean all these abilities that do not help me in the slightest in my fucking everyday life? Oh yeah, 'Boo hoo, Bob doesn't enslave the world or sets a city ablaze', cry me a river!"

It has been like this for months now, back and forth, the same conversation in a different form, every. Single. Day. Normally a Demon King gets killed by the hero in their dark citadel, but no, of course Kevin had to face the holy hero in my fucking city and of course his concentration kf his soul and power had to miss the hero and hit poor old me, at this one day where mom dragged me out for grocery shopping

"How are you ever supposed to take over the world in this way? Kill the hero? Extort money from the masses? Do anything, really?"

"Nah Kevin, I just wanna hang around. Why bother with all that stuff? It's too much of a hassle, really. Why did you even wanna take over the world? Was that part of the job description"

I already knew that Kevin wouldn't answer. He disliked that topic. Now we come to the next part. Bartering

"Alright Bobbicus, maybe not all that... what about hitting someone on the streets?"

"No"

"Playing pranks on the local kids?"

"No"

"Stealing Bellas lunch money?"

"Nah"

"But you hate her!"

"Sure, doesn't mean I'll risk getting caught stealing"

"Alright... how about... uh... spending all your pocket money on sweets, despite you needing it for other things, so you'll have to pump your mother for more money?"

He's gotten better over time. At first he tended to start way higher and this phase took way longer. Some small progress. Even he is starting to get sick of these conversations

"Yeah, I guess we can do that, Kevin"

"Yes! EEEEEVVVIIIIIILLLL"

I still don't know how long I will have to live with this situation. Tomorrow this will repeat. But atleast I'll always have some company