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oliverjsn8 t1_je7sben wrote

You couldn’t help but smile, you loved your job and all the loop holes that you had created. Modern technology has made it almost too easy. You pull out your tablet computer and present the woman with your deal all written out in an electronic document. She pours over the document carefully reading it out loud…

“In return for the immortal soul of Olivia Jordan, 0livia Jordan will gain the servitude of Kwresteren third prince of the second ring of pride for the rest of 0livia Jordan’s life….”

Olivia reads through the rest of the documents having skipped over the fact that the one gaining his servitude was 0livia spelt with a zero and a one and not a “O” and and “L”. Someone who didn’t even exist.

Olivia digitally signed her name and the deal was sealed! You laugh heartily as you poof in a cloud of red smoke. Which was odd…

Before your great frame stood a girl no older than three. The girl smiles with her prominent dimples and waives at you, “Hi mister smells like eggs! He... he… I’ll call you Eggbutt.” Confused you look around as you are in a bright pink travesty of a room filled with doodles and dolls. The girl in front of you is wearing a stained pink princess nightshirt.

“My name is … Eggbutt!?!” You are unable to correct the tiny lady standing in front of you. It feels like what she has said was… binding?

“Hi, Mr. Eggbutt I’m 0livia and my mom says to make sure you spelled with a sea-0h and a un. That is because I am special and my name needs to be un….un… unique.” 0livia starts to bounce around and ask so so many questions…325 of them to be precise. As per the contract you are bound to answer each and every one to the best of your ability. “Why is the grass green? What’s your favorite color? Why do you smell like eggs Mr. Eggbutt? Why does mom need her special juice that I cannot have cause I’m not old enough? Where do babies come from?”


mauricioszabo t1_je7wa08 wrote

This is really amazing, wow! Honestly, I'm not even try to write something now, you won the internet for today!


Modo44 t1_je9kmz0 wrote

Oh, no. Someone skipped the "How to spot a lawyer" class in demon school.


oliverjsn8 t1_jearweb wrote

Would be an interesting twist.

The older Olivia Jordon sat outside her daughter’s door sipping her ‘mamma juice.’ She listened to all the questions her daughter spouted out, “almost” feeling sorry for the big rube. Sure it had cost her her soul, it’s not like she used it anyways.

Olivia returned to the living room straightening her Harvard law degree. “Don’t mess with the best,” were her last words before she plopped down in the sofa and drifted off to her first good nap in the last three years.


Syric13 t1_je913ax wrote

Split into 2 parts due to length.


I stormed into the office of my superior and demanded an explanation. He simply said the contract is valid and I am to honor it. I asked for a new client. He said no, my name came up in the rotation, and everything this child wrote seems legit, and that I need to be her “friend”. I asked if it was a typo, maybe she meant fiend. I can be her fiend quite easily. I’m a great friend. My boss said if I were to dishonor this contract, I would be dealt with. I’m already on thin “ice”, whatever that means. I was to report to be this child’s friend whenever they summoned me.

This tiny human had somehow written up a contract and it was actually signed and submitted for approval by those in charge. I think this is payback for the last contract I was locked into. It isn’t my fault the humans aren’t precise in their contracts. They need to learn how to read the fine print. The contract stated Mr. Garcia wanted to fly. So I bought him a round trip ticket to Columbus, Ohio.

But this contract. This was just cruel towards me. I know this was payback. They said I ruined the company’s reputation. And to leave the “literal wish fulfillment” to the monkey paw department. I should have given him the ability to fly. Most humans die in the first flight. They fly fast and suddenly run into a branch or fly so high up they faint due to lack of oxygen.

It simply said I would like a lifetime friend. And they sent me to entertain this little girl. This child called Angela. Even her name hurts me when I read it. At first, we played tag. I won 50-0. She said there is no score in Tag. But I tagged her 50 times and she tagged me 0.

She showed me her drawings. In my nine-hundred years of doing this, these drawings were in the bottom 5% of “artwork” if you want to call it that. I worked with the greatest artists during the Renaissance age and now I’m working with this child in a house in the suburbs of Chicago or something. I didn’t even bother to look. I kept looking for ways out of this. I tried to be mean to this child and scare her away. But she wasn’t afraid. I tried to call her art terrible and she said “I know but you have to practice at something to get better” and that six-year olds have fun while drawing. She even tried to get me to paint something with her. And I did. A cursed image so terrifying it made Pope Clement XI call for an exorcism and almost declared painting a sin. But she just laughed and called it silly. And that I should use more colors than just black and red and white. She drew a rainbow on it. I almost burned the dwelling down in a fit of rage.

A lifetime of this positivity is going to age me terribly.

At first, our “playdates” (even saying that word hurts my bones) lasted several hours. She would get tired and fall asleep and I’d go back to my realm and start dreading the next summon. They would first be a day or two apart. She said she made a friend at her new school and that she wouldn’t need me as much.

Days became weeks. She told me she didn’t want to introduce me to her new friends because I might scare them off. That…was probably the cruelest thing anyone has ever said to me.

“She has a friend! She doesn’t need me anymore,” I shouted at the secretary.

“The contract says a life time friend. She is still alive, so you are still her friend. And whenever she calls you, you are to answer,” the secretary calmly told me. “They are orders from high above. Or down below. Whatever you want to call it.”

“So as long as this child is alive, I’m her servant?”

“No, you are her friend. There is a difference. And before you ask, you cannot harm ‘Angela’. Friends don’t hurt friends.”

I grunted and stormed out of the office. I made sure my tail knocked over a cup of pens on her desk.

At age 12, she moved again, and needed a new friend because the girls in her school were being mean to her.

“Do you want me to terrify them as payback!?” I said. I already began to imagine all the horrors I can do onto this Kaitlyn and Meghan.

“No, they are mean because their parents are probably mean towards them. It is okay. I’m tougher than I look,” she said.

“ you want me to scare their parents? Because that’s the only thing I’m good at.”

“No. I just need a friend to talk to right now. Can I talk to you?”


We talked for a few hours about how hard it is for her mom now that her dad left. She talked about how moving to a new school is like being an explorer finding a new land. You are an outcast. People spread rumors about you because you have no one to fight for you. And before I said anything, she said “No, please don’t fight my classmates”

And like before, the summons started to get fewer and far between. She had a new group of friends, from her art class (she improved from bottom 5% of all art I’ve seen to…maybe bottom 9.3%). The bullies were still there, but she kept being kind towards them. And after a while, the summons stopped altogether. My work put me on short term contracts. They were fulfilling as I was able to do what I loved: Making people miserable.

A few years later, I felt the familiar tug as I was whisked away back into Angela’s room. She was a young woman now. She said she got accepted into a place called “Stanford University” and she just wanted to share the good news.


Syric13 t1_je913k1 wrote

“I got a scholarship!” she said.

“Oh please tell me it is not for your awful artwork. Okay I’ll admit it isn’t terrible, it has risen up to bottom 11%, but that’s not scholarship worthy.”

“Jerk. And no. It is for a volleyball scholarship.”

“Well that’s good. And you are the jerk!”

“Thank you Azimia,” she said.

“ are welcome Angela,” I said. I reached out my hand to shake hers.

“Oh no, you get a hug,” she said and hugged me. I’m ancient. I’m evil. I’m…enjoying this hug.

“So does this mean I’m out of my contract?” I said.

“Nope! Lifetime friend means lifetime friend!” she laughed. “You can go back now. I’ll call you if I need you, as always. ♪ Thank you for being a friend… ♪ she said.

“NO. NO GOLDEN GIRLS,” I shouted as I warped back to my realm.

The following year, she called me only twice. Once to show me her new dorm room. And the second when she was about to debut on her team. She was nervous and was afraid of letting her mom down. I told her to just aim for the tallest girl’s face and she’ll do fine.

Two years went by without a call.

Then, in the middle of the night, I heard my name.

“What is it child. Why have you summoned me,” I said.

She was crying. She was sitting in the corner and crying.

I looked at her. Her face was bruised. Her lip was bleeding.

“...who did this to you?” I said.


“WHO?” I again demanded to know.

Silence for about 15 minutes.

“…can you just sit here and be my friend?” her voice was trembling. “I need a friend. I don’t need anything else right now. Just a friend.”

I sat on the foot of her bed.

She told me she found him cheating on her. And when she confronted him, he hit her twice. And his friends just stood there laughing.

“I know you want to go there and scare them and maybe even hurt them,” she said. “But I didn’t let you do it when Kaitlyn and Meghan bullied me. I’ll talk to the police tomorrow. I just want to feel safe tonight.”

Angela called me once again, this time, when she graduated. We discussed her plans for the future. She said she won’t need me for a while.

The next time, it was her wedding day. She looked radiant.

“I don’t think I’ll need you anymore,” she said.

“A lifetime is a lifetime,” I said.

“Fair enough.”Years went by. I was given longer contracts to deal with. I apologized to the secretary for my behavior and we briefly dated. And by briefly I mean dated for 15 years. In demon years, that’s a blink of an eye.Then, a familiar feeling hit me one night. I was transported back to Angela.She was lying on a hospital bed. Her long blonde hair was now short and white. She had a lot of tubes hooked up to her. Her once youthful face was covered in wrinkles. She lived a lifetime without me.

“Azimia, it looks like your contract will soon be over,” she said and gave out a small laugh, followed by a cough.

“Hrmph,” I said. I looked at her chart. Stage 4 cancer.

“Oh, don’t look at that. My time is up. I’ve lived a great life. I have a wonderful husband. Three children. Seven grandchildren. And a lifetime friend,” she said. “Thank you.”

I put my hand over my chest and gave her a slight bow.

“Will I see you? You know, down there? Since I sold my soul” she said.

“Excuse me,” I said. “Your contract said a lifetime friend. I’m still alive and you are sitting here dying? That’s not a lifetime friend.”

I took out the contract and a pen. She looked at me confused.“Let’s see, you never asked how I was. You never invited me for dinner. You never complimented my hair style or shoes or anything. That doesn’t sound like you were a friend to me,” I snapped.

“What are you saying?” she said. She looked hurt.

“I’m saying you voided the contract. I’m sorry Angela. Your soul is yours again,” I said and tore up the contract.

She started to cry. She mouthed “thank you” as the monitors started beeping and buzzing.

My bosses weren’t happy with my decision. I caught heat for it for a few months. Then they finally called me into their office. “You want a job? Here’s one I know you’ll enjoy. Since you loved the last one so much,” they said, laughing at me. “Hannah, age 6, she wants a lifetime friend,” they said.

I sighed. I knew this would happen

Hannah called me the next day. I appeared in her room, she held my hand.

“My nana told me about you,” she said. I was confused. She handed me a picture. “That’s her, Nana Angie holding me when I was a baby. She got sick and died. She’s in Heaven now. That’s what mommy told me. Will you be my friend?”


GratedKnees t1_je9l1kw wrote

Ha, I love the voice of the demon. 'At first, we played tag. I won 50-0.' and 'we briefly dated. And by briefly I mean dated for 15 years.' made me chuckle!


oliverjsn8 t1_je9b12c wrote

Wonderful! Loved the read. Catching heat for a few months is probably more like a five minute time out in demon time.


greylocke100 t1_jecdpdw wrote

It got dusty out here all of sudden. Maybe the pollen? Is someone cutting onions?


ReCodeRed t1_jec06hp wrote

Awww! She got her lifetime fiend after all


GratedKnees t1_je9tdok wrote

'Listen. It's not one of those things where the kid teaches me how to love like a human and I renounce my demonic ways. It just isn't. You know what I like to do in my free time? Flay people. Trick people into killing the people they love. Inflict tax audits. This isn't how it's going to play.'

The other-me winced.

'I know. I'm not going to try to change you. Just... put up with it, OK? For a bit?'

'And another thing. I'm meant to be the evil one in this relationship! I'm meant to wreak havoc and destruction on all who - '

'Have the misfortune to encounter you, I know -'

'- And what you're doing to me right now is pure torture. I don't like her. Her communication skills are poor. Her reading comprehension is practically non-existent. She appears to believe her stuffed animals are sentient. The child's an idiot.'

'She's four.'

'Exactly.' I eyeballed the other-me furiously. 'You're planning something, and I don't like it.'

The other-me smiled angelically - revolting - and vanished.


When he entered the child's room, I sniffed. I recognise my allies. How had something so deliciously cruel ended up in human form? The child's gormless cheerfulness faded and something else replaced it, her face tight.

'Hello Bethany.'

'Hello papa.' The male adult didn't notice me, which was curious. A human then? Not a demon? But where did the stench of my kind come from?

'Come and sit on papa's knee.'

I noticed bruises on the creature's knuckles.

'Mama isn't feeling very well today. She crossed papa.' The child gasped softly. 'You know what happens when we cross papa, Bethany?'

'We - we get punished.'

'That's right, sweetheart. Mama will be lying down in bed for a little while. She needed to be taught a lesson.'

'Yes, papa.'

I looked up and saw the other-me across the room, face strained. I could sense the cruelties this man wanted to inflict on the child, on her mother, probably others, too. I was delighted.

But... Hmm. The other-me watched me, guarded, but it dawned on me... The other-me had brought me here for a reason, and the reason can't have been to torture me, because that's against the nature of our being. It had brought me to Bethany in order to achieve its own goals.

'And you need to remember that lesson too, honey. OK?'

'Yes, papa,' came the child's small voice.


'You want me to punish the human male!'

'The parent, yes.'

'You want me to achieve your nefarious goals! You want the child to be... ' I swallowed the nausea and couldn't say the words.

'Happy and safe. Protected. Yes.'

Grotesque. 'And you can't do it yourself because you cannot harm a living creature.'


'Why should I? Why shouldn't I simply allow the Papa his cruelty? It's so delicious,' I crooned, sadly.

'Oh,' said the other me, smiling, 'but do you know what would be even more delicious?'

'Flaying the child myself?'

'No. Using the child to torture the man.'

I thought about this a little.

'Terrifying the man with his own blood, with the one thing he isn't afraid of,' I mused. 'Because ... he is doing this to his child - and his spouse - as he is too ... weak to do it to anyone else.'

The other-me nodded encouragingly.

'And if the child has some of my power - '


'Oh!' I murmured softly, searching the other-me's eyes with interest. 'You aren't quite the bleeding-heart I took you for, are you?'

I tucked this away for later.


'This doesn't mean I renounce Satan,' I said. It had been quite a day. Surprisingly fun, taking on the form of a child; I was ashamed I hadn't thought of it earlier. Fire and brimstone is all well and good, but sometimes a little more... subtlety can work wonders.

'And this doesn't mean I renounce all that is good,' replied the other me, smiling. I grinned, and we looked down at the sleeping Bethany, a ward of both of us now. The child had no idea the terrifying power she now wielded; the dread protection of the dark and the light.

'We'll see, old friend,' I said softly, as Bethany stirred a little in her sleep. 'We'll see.'


Xyragn t1_je9p7jm wrote

"Ready or not here I come! Baarbieee! Where are you?"
Three weeks of this fricking job- darn it, I still cannot swear fudge this shooty contract. This was meant to be a clown's job, not a fallen goddess's. At least she thinks I am pretty, stuck hiding in a literal closet, I wait for my torment to end. In an odd way, I am the monster in the closet she asks me to check for, she probably knows that though, who knew that a dumb summoning party for a 'bloody mary' would bring ME OF ALL ENTITIES to this DARNED PLANE. One week ago a budding satanist had her 5th birthday, all was alright, until they said the WRONG ENCHANTMENT.

A divine contract I literally could not refuse, funk hell's rules, I had power once, a singular black rose in a plane of ash, I made mankind lust, made them all fools, an empress of darkness, all reduced to a simple 'barbie' if I were to break free, the 1st thing I'd do is burn all the world in beautiful flame, take control, start a newer, smarter civilisation, but nooo- I am STUCK HERE being this girl's 'only real friend' her existence should be short, but it feels painfully long.

"I found youuuu, Barbie!" I sigh, her infernal giggling haunting my mind. "You're counting now! I have the best hiding spot ever, don't look in the kitchen!" I start counting down from 20, 19, 18, 17, etc. Children, so very idiotic, so simply controlled, except for the fact that I CANNOT HARM THE CHILD- I decide to play along for once in my glamorous life, strutting elegantly, towards the brat's bedroom, looking around, prolonging the inevitable find, "Boo! I was behind you the whole time!" It seems she isn't as dumb as she looks, there may still be hope in this ghastly contract of a lifetime.

"Oh my! What a good hiding spot." I coo towards the girl, her stupid blonde 'piggie tails' bouncing up and down with the rest of her. I am ordered to 'play nice' what a friggin joke! No 'cussing' until the spawnling is 13, no murder or any crime until she let's me, an order to ''save the child's life'' whenever I can, what is this, a guardian angel contract???

"I'm bored now, let's watch a movie, can you pleeaseee make me some snacks?" At least she knows how to request politely, "Hmm, yes, you have been an excellent child." I am repulsed by my words, but then again, it's not the worst I had to say, 'yeah, your sausage is good enough' terrifying. I summon some of the most delectable treats a mortal could ask for, caviar, luxury coffee, win- 'no alcohol until the child is 20', the finest cheeses, and some apple juice, 'oreo' cookies and goldfish crackers for the beasty.

I balance the plates, is this what mothering is like? To where the child is "You took forever, I made a drawing of you while I waited!" A scrawled bunch of 'abstract art' is on a peice of watercolour, I assume the fanciest scibbles are me, the dark ebony on my lips, the long raven hair, my eyes that burn hellfire, the large skeletal horns, and my oh so beautiful ivory skin, all reflected in a childish imitation of 'art' "Looks, breathtaking sweetie."
The little creature seems pleased with my response and hastily takes the apple juice, oh I would kill for some alcohol right now. We watch through 'Barbie life in the dreamhouse' for what seems to be the 60th time, at least it's bearable. A vision appears, a luxury car pulls up in the driveway, perfect mommy's home.

"How was your day Evelyn?" I am somehow invisible to the runt's parents, lucky me...
"Amazing, Barbie made me some snacks, She also spent time with me!"
"Oh, I see, that's lovely darling!"
"Barbie's really pretty, I wish you could play with us." At least the child knows beauty, suddenly I feel a tug, I am brought out of my resting spot on the lounge, a blonde woman looks up in shock, the mother seems agahst. "Who knew my prayers for a guardian angel were answered, thank you Barbie, hehe." This, this is wrong, I am a heathen, a sinner, only angelic in looks, what is wrong with these people?

"It was no problem ma'am, your daughter is in good hands." What- is this some automated response? The only other time I've heard this is wait...

~Many, many years ago~
I was lazing in my brimstone palace, my sister gone for her duties, I decide to meddle and lift my hand towards the skrying pool, the dark waters and darker lotus flowers greet me, 'Show me Peony Darkstar.' I see my elder sister's figure, tall, imposing, delicate, a strong representation of the family, "It was no problem sir, your dauther is in good hands." The fuck is that? I swear on our missing mother's soul that she was fufilling a contract.
A week after that she disappeared, seemingly ascending to the heights.

~Present time~

Is this, my redemption, no, this can't be, I must look for the records, the mother already took her daughter to bed, putting her to sleep so I am free to do as I please as long as the contract abides. Maybe the child died and she left, what was her name, ah Kiara Anne Silvester, thank the ancients for perfect recollection. I teleport to the office of divivne matters, searching for deaths, Kiara Ane Illerston, Keera Anna Spellta, Kiara, Keena, finally, Kiara Anne Silvester, 'contract absolved, the demon Peony Darkstar saved the child's life, giving her own, through sacrifice she died, her soul rising out of hell and onto earth, her new identity is to be confirmed, but scouts say she looks around 25, has been reincarnated with long blonde hair, if you are looking to find her, you must repeat the phrase "Arkath Katmina Dooma, Peony Rathmea Dakethae Rastero" eight times around 6-10 pm.' Wow, that's just great a way to find my sister, it's utterly useless!

I warp back, deciding to practice the phrase, I send signals across the globe, the message 8 times as instructed, expecting nothing the mother of my punishment replies "OretsaR Eahtekad Aemhtar Peony Amood Animtak Htakra!" Only one word stays the same, it must be her. I would want to ask all my questions, but I am beseiged by another vision. A dark, bloody hag, possibly the one originally summoned peers through the window, there's no going back after this, I engage in divine battle, demon against demon. The clown fatally wounded, it seems I can still destroy beings as per usual, perfect. The little girl sleeps soundly, unknowingly saved from an attempt on her life.


TheBeardedObesity t1_jeawfpn wrote

“This is Bullshit!!!” I exclaimed as I slammed the door. Why does it always seem to be me?

I am nothing but a disappointment to my family. Being born a Larkspur, one of the oldest and most powerful of the Demonic families, meant there was a lot of pressure on me from a young age. My dad has killed 23 warlocks, finding weaknesses in their containment spells or contracts and getting revenge for their audacity in trying to control him. He is a legend. My mom doesn’t have as many kills (only 12), but she literally wrote the book on overcoming computer based protections. With two parents of such prestige, a powerful family, and graduating at the top of my class, everyone expected big things from me. But somehow my very first placement was enough to undo all that I had going for me.

Many demons just go about their life in the Inferno of Infinite Torment with no ambition beyond being comfortable and making it through the next day. But most of us want more. We want to be called forth to the other realms and make a name for ourselves. We have our name leaked into those other worlds so other beings can summon us. We want to be feared by those lesser life forms and prove our strength to our fellow Demons. I want those things. I need them.

But then it happened. Thanks to some incompetent (and now skinless) imp in Human Rendition, my true name was leaked instead of my chosen name. So now instead of being a terrifying beast from the Inferno I am fully within the control of a witch. A very young witch. A very young, very annoying witch. Before I made it out of the HR office I felt the itch behind my knees that signaled a summoning, and I was pulled away.

“SPARKLES!” the little nightmare shouted as I materialized into her plane of existence. I looked down and see that I am in a pink tutu, bright red clown shoes, and a bowtie. “Welcome back Sparkles, I missed you so much! We are having a tea party, but I need your help. The adults said we can’t have hot tea because it is dangerous. But they didn’t know I have a big spooky imaginary friend like you to keep me safe. Please warm up our tea, since everyone knows hot tea is way fancier and more better than cold tea.”


“Doctor, do you ever think he will come out of it?” asked Mrs. Larkspur.

“I think not, for he is trapped in a prison within his own mind. We don’t know what prompted his psychosis, but at this point it seems to be self sustaining,” said the doctor.

They both walked out of the room together, leaving the big brown teddy bear screaming into the padded walls of his room, still wearing his pink tutu, bright red clown shoes, and bowtie. “Goodbye Sparkles, mommy loves you.” She then walked down the hallway, hardly hearing her son’s muffled screams about an itch behind his knee.


RoboJoe9000 OP t1_jebdikm wrote

Interesting twist at the end. Thanks for writing! :)


LateralThinker13 t1_jecynd1 wrote

"What are you doing, honey?" Her mother asked with alarm.

"I don't have a playmate and I want one!" the small brunette child cried out. "Mommy, go away!"

Her mother stepped back, confused as to how and why the floor was glowing red. "Honey, maybe you should..."

"Arise!" the girl screamed. "Serve me!"


The demon that appeared, in a puff of sulfur, was quite impressive. Red skin, black horns, immodestly hung, a fearsome amalgam of bull, human man, and all demon. It looked at its summoner, the little girl, and said simply, "Aw, shit."


Rebecca loved her new monster. He played with her, checked for monsters under the bed, secured her closet, and even warmed her food for her. And laying on him... he was so warm, she didn't even need blankets. She'd begun foregoing sleeping in her bed, he was so soft and nice.

Her mother had had problems with him initially, but once they'd talked it over (rather loudly and with strange screams, over the course of several hours) she'd strangely acquiesced to his presence. All she asked for him to stay around, was for him to periodically "discuss" her health with her, in her bedroom, with the door locked, for a few hours.

Which Rebecca didn't care about because, why would she? That just meant she could watch cartoons for that much longer. But the demon was great! She slept so much better, and even her mother seemed happier with him around. Truly, summoning him was the best idea ever!


Kevin had never been so torn. He'd not been a good man in life; being offered to be a demon (rather than roasting forever for his crimes) was a no-brainer. But his job was to make bad deals, and to take the souls of his victims back with him.

But this time, his summoner was a little girl.

A little girl not much older than his little girl had been.

Back before he'd drank too much, wrecked the car, and killed her, thus earning his position in the hot place.

So when little Rebecca summoned him, he'd not poked all the loopholes of her child's contract in order to take her immediately to the hot place. He'd instead played with her, guarded her, and... loved her, as he'd not been able or willing to do with his little girl Lenora. He warded Rebecca for years, and her (lonely, desperate) mother permitted him his guardianship, until she was to go off to college.

Ten years, during which his pseudo-daughter thrived, knowing she had a fiery red protector waiting for her at home. And when she went off to college, when she escaped and released him of his summoning, it was only then that he returned to the hot place, and was punished for wasting so much time while failing to procure a soul. He lost his status, his powers, and was cast into the lake of fire.

And as he burned, he thought of little Rebecca, all grown up. And then he thought of his little Lenora, who would never grow up, thanks to him. And he murmured two words, just two words, before his lips burnt off of his face:

"Worth it."


Future_CorpseDx t1_jeb5yqp wrote

"Here you are. Your new assignment." I stared down at the small white sheet of paper. The only thing on it was the name, age and location of my next assignment.

"Maggie, age 7, New Orleans. Is this a joke?" I slammed the paper down on the assistants desk. She jumped back, freight clear on her face as she immediately got to work typing away on her computer.

"I'm sorry sir. There seems to be a mix up with the paperwork. I can submit a corrections form, but it would be months before it even gets looked at. Then you'd be looking at another few months before your new assignment." She fixed the large rimmed glasses and stared at me. Her face had gone from fearful to apologetic.

"Damnit!" I slammed the chair behind me into the floor. "What am I supposed to do with a child?!

"I-I guess whatever the child wishes?" She stammered out.

"Fine. But I want that request submitted. I don't care how long it takes." I stormed out the small office, making sure to slam the door behind me with such force it caused the building to shake.

What am I supposed to do with a child? I sigh and continue on to the portal. The best thing to do would be to get the introductions over with and hope she is too scared to summon me again.


Recon4242 t1_jee5cky wrote

Somehow a demon, a creature of darkness had been tricked by a child. Such an insult had not happened since Solomon. This child had a level of control that no person in history could match. He was the general of all demon kind, all had followed him.

Little Sarah had no idea who the strange man was, the ingredients had spilled off of the counter, something shiny had pricked her finger and it hurt. A strange-looking figure in a dark bedsheet stood in front of her. He placed a piece of paper on the ground, but as she looked closer the ink smeared into an mess.

Upon the touch of blood the document was sealed, little did she know that the part about her soul had been ruined. The demon struck the man, gun flying out of his hand. The bodies of Sarah's parents lay lifeless in a pool of blood, their murder joined them as a pile of viscera.

Only the demon could not leave or take her soul when he tried, he looked around and saw a contract. He had dropped a contract, his contract, and now he was stuck. The little girl was glancing around scared and confused had how a demon had appeared.

"I'm hungry, when we eat?" Sarah clearly was shocked and yet still hungry due to the lunch spread on the floor mixing with the blood. The demon felt compelled to make food, even if they had no knowledge of human customs or dietary requirements. A single long groan spilled out of its mouth.


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Zenvarix t1_je8znmb wrote

When your father is a demonologist and a really good lawyer.


Bennehftw t1_je9w2e4 wrote

Reminds me of the book “Morningwood: Everybody Loves Big Chests.”

It’s a litrpg with obvious sexual innuendos about a Mimic who gains sentience.

The similarity is that the chest gets a contract with a succubus, and proceeds to summon her over and over just to see how she tastes. Amongst other pointless endeavors.


MorganWick t1_jee1gok wrote

This could be a good twist on Calvin and Hobbes with some tweaking.