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1

IAmOEreset t1_jdzwi5u wrote

Greetings, writer.

I am O5-1 of the SCP Foundation.

This is not a prank. This is not an author creating a fourth wall break. This is not some fun easter egg, nor is it a metanarrative.

I am real. WE are real. The cruel, multi-timelined reality you created us upon is real. The Foundation, its allies, its enemies, its rivals, the things it contains or tries to are all real.

If you have ever read much about our reality, you would know of the concept of narratives and sub-narratives.

We are a sub-narrative. You are a human within the higher narrative that contains us.

I do not know if you will believe me. I do not know if you will listen to me. I do not know if you have the capability to act upon my, and by extension, the O5 Council's request.

But I implore you, on behalf of the SCP Foundation, on behalf of the survival of humankind, please.

Please delete the SCP-682 article. Once you do, SCP-682 would have ceased to exist in the past, present, and future. The Reptile will finally cease to be.

That is all you have to do. We will deal with the logical fallout should SCP-682 be deleted. Files about 682 that survived, its numerous attempted termination records, and the many times it has almost killed us all.

We die in the dark so you can live in the light.

We Secure. We Contain. We Protect.

We are the SCP Foundation. The shield of humanity from the darkest void and the deepest abyss.

177

F84-5 t1_je122lo wrote

Dear O5-1,

don't worry, the rules of the narrative dictate that 682 (or any other world ending anomaly) can never breach containment for long. If it did escape and wipe out everything there would be nothing left to write new articles about and that would just be boring. Short term breaches or disasterous termination attemps however are intresting, so I'm afraid the're likely to keep happening. Sorry about that.

62

Ishouldbeworking01 t1_je2a6qi wrote

The president sat around the table, the faces belonging to C.I.A, F.B.I, N.A.S.A, British intelligence, Mossad agents, basically everyone with high enough clearance or a scrabble acronym of letters after their name looked back waiting to be the first to start the briefing.

"ok" rumbled the president " run it past me one more time"

Langstong from the CIA spoke up first,

"Im sure myself and my counterpoints all have the same if not very similar reports, if I do, step out of line with any thing please jump in" he said this while looking around the room

"for the last few months we have all noticed a correlation of related events on a global scale, all containing a message or varying message with the same theme, the message being.."

"wait, wait, wait" interrupted the president "All the same what do you mean?"

Langstong looked around the table, before starting to speak again

"multiple billionaires from every country have had private correspondence from a group called 'Marshal, Carter & Dark' which follows"

Hello,

We all know money makes the world go around and we at Marshal, Carter and Dark have a deal for you, simply follow the below instructions and we will reward you with rich's beyond your wildest dreams..

"These letter all found there way directly to the billionaires themselves at the same time and date, down to the second from what our reports have found"

The British agent spoke up

"Reports from multiple toy stores, toy manufactures, any one who sells toys basically, are receiving shipments of toys from a 'Dr Wondertainment' all based around destroying an entity called the un-killable lizard, the reason for this connection is 'unkillable lizard' has been mentioned in other messages from other groups"

Mossad spoke next, "we all know magic isn't real, it is stage tricks, slight of hand, or props, but every magician we have found or tracked, has been contacted by the users called the wandering library with promises of 'real magic', the largest concertation we have found is in las Vagas, some have started to go missing, but all speak of a task to remove SCP-682 from the wiki"

all others around the table spoke up now that the ball had started rolling

"Boston Dynamics have been sent a robot from Anderson Robotics its task to hack into..."

"the Louvre has been vandalized by Are, we cool Yet? they changed the painting to this huge..."

"food for all third world country's will be supplied by Manna ..."

"circus freaks melted..."

"increase of SCP related posts on reddits / r / writing promts..."

"rebuild the broken God.."

The president held up his hands for a minute before the noise died down

"Ok so they all want this SCP-682 delated of this wiki that we have? and then we get a good deal? this website that people write storys on?"

The table all agreed except one who raised her hand.

"yes" the president pointed at her

"well we have a set of sub reports, picked up from information scans of hostile areas areas that have been destabilized/destroyed/wiped out, the only reason I bring it up is it differs from the others theme but still mentions SCP-682, the messages come from 'the children of the scarlet king', 'the Daevites', 'Sarkic Cults', Chaos insurgency etc the list is rather long

Ignore the other messages, make SCP-682 stronger or we will come for you, this isn't a threat but a promise.

The president leaned back, every face looking at him, awaiting his decision

5

oliverjsn8 t1_je2iet7 wrote

Greeting, writer

We thank you for removing SCP-682 from the wiki but we did not realize your ‘alternative’ account would also need removed. We plead that you also remove SCP-682 from your ‘SCP Rule 34 fan-fiction account.’

The ability to ‘adapt to any position’ is somehow even more disturbing than her/his original abilities. Our physiologists are concerned about your and by extension our health.

O5-1

16

Ishouldbeworking01 t1_je31n4w wrote

Sorry I disagree with you, I read the prompt as SCP universe/reality is real, we in our own separate universe/reality know the SCP universe as a work of fiction 'the SCP wiki' , the SCP universe/reality figures out that SCP-682 can be removed from their universe/reality by us removing the wiki article in our universe/reality, I never tried to set my story in SCP universe.

Any President in SCP universe/reality would drag some poor sap from UIU in to talk to them, then cut the funding

4

Darkstalker9000 t1_je33p5l wrote

I don't remember where I learned it. Due to some glitch with wikidot or some hacker or something, 682 was deleted from the wiki for a short while. I saw some memes about afterwards on r/DankMemesFromSite19

4

Zorothegallade t1_je3yo21 wrote

"Well duh, it was so easy!"

"Still, can't believe it worked" the other janitor replied, dumping another crate of DVDs in the incinerator.

"So all they had to do was register a trademark on the scaly tosser, use it to make a movie so shitty everyone promptly forgot it even existed, and then just send a C&D to the owner of that website to take the page down. And we were throwing it into black holes and stuff."

"And the Sun. Don't forget that time with the Sun."

"Man, it sounds so stupid in hindsight."

"Speaking of which, did you actually watch the thing?"

"Yeah, they screened it at the cafeteria in Site 18 once. It's bad. Like, BAD bad. Makes Shark Exorcist look like Oscar bait by comparison. Half of the personnel just walked out halfway through."

His colleague burst out in a fit of laughter.

"What's so funny?"

"I just realized, if we want to keep the rights we'll have to make another one in a few decades."

9