Hey Chop!

I loved these descriptions and the sheer rich backstory you give Pauline here. You do an amazing job of bringing her to life through just a few simple facts about her life. Her dreams and aspirations, her debt, her current work and the amount of work she puts in.

I also really liked the gentle calming feeling the first portion of the story had. It really builds up quite well to that sudden intrusion of the voice. So very well done.

I do just have a few bits and bobs for you,

> The Sun had set — was swallowed whole by the ocean — and the wasted hours were getting to her.

I honestly think you don't need these em-dashes here. You're saying the same thing twice, just more dramatic the second time around. I'd say drop the "The sun had set" line and go straight for the more powerful bit.

> Pauline works as a self-employed investigative journalist

There seemed to be a tense shift here. We were in the past tense earlier and now we're in the present. Not sure if that's intentional though.

> but what she wanted — what she really really wanted — was to be a hard-hitting, truth-touting,

Similarly, as above, I think the bit in the em-dashes is just a little too similar to what comes before it. So something like "what she needed really" could be better.

> Anyone notices us and it’s just a random chance meeting, but who would see us at Stinky Beach?

Similar to the tense change. Here I think you switch person. You go from second person to first person. I'd say stick to second.

> The journalist was knocked off her car by something hitting her in the side of the head.

Finally, was just a bit thrown by this. It's an awfully physical and violent reaction to being startled. She didn't just jump off her car, she was thrown off. Just sounds a bit exaggerated.

And last but not least, I kind of have to mention it: the ending. Heck Chop, I need more! Please, it's such a perfect opening. It just needs more!

I hope this helps.

Good Words!