“It’s like he doesn’t even care.”

“I hear ya.”

“Amen, brother.”

“Like, I put in all this blood, sweat, and tears, and I feel like boss doesn’t even notice me.” Logan went on.

Another chorus of assent rose from his buddies.

“Like, just the other week, I pulled off that kidnapping without a hitch! No one saw me, in and out like a horndog. I brought the dame to boss, still tied up and ready, and he sent me away with the flick of his hand, not even looking at me!”

“Oh, man.” Clyde said. “I’m sorry, Logan. I know it’s hard, sometimes, when he won’t just acknowledge your work.”

“That’s what I’m saying!” Logan exclaimed. “How hard would it be to say ‘gee, thanks, Logan. She’s hot. Big titties on her.’? You know? Like is that that big of an ask?”

“I hear you, brother.” Clyde said. “I assassinated that politician and boss wouldn’t even hear my report. He sent Gerald again. I had to give my report to that dope.”

“Oof.”

“Ouch.”

“Damn, brother.” Logan said, spitting on the ground. “Fuck Gerald.”

“What?!”

The boys spun on their heels to see boss’ number two man, Gerald, his hands firmly planted on his hips.

“What did you say, Logan?”

“He said ‘fuck you, Gerald.’” Clyde sounded scared. You don’t lie to Gerald.

“I wasn’t talking to you, boy.” Gerald said, approaching with slow, weighty steps, stopping a few inches from Logan’s face. “I’m talking to you.”

Logan, knowing his fate was sealed, made the first move, landing a glancing blow on Gerald as he drew his weapon with his other hand.

Clyde was faster, landing a bullet in Logan’s head as he whipped around.

Clyde helped up Gerald and offered him his kerchief to wipe the blood splatter.

“Thanks, comrade.” Gerald said, cleaning himself.

“You’d have done the same for me, brother.” Clyde said. “I’m glad you intervened, saved me having to report the situation to you later.”

Gerald nodded, continuing his patrol.

“Fucking Gerald.” Clyde whispered once Gerald had cleared the area.

'Morning Jim"

"Morning Phil"

"What are you working on today?" Jim asked while he continued to fill his HenchCo water bottle from the tap.

"you remember that big ransom we got last month, 250 million?" Phil replied while he waited to fill up his bottle

"yea, boss was very happy with that- hope that trickles down so we can get some upgrades, you know the doors on levels 2 and 3 don't slide open any more, the hydraulics or something, we had to force them open with a block of wood?" Jim said while screwing his bottle lid on

"oof thats tough, makes us looks stupid when those 'good guys' come around also, but this is what I'm talking about, you know Gordon from the death ray team?, He is still running excel on windows 95, He put an order for a yellow birthday cake, got sent yellow cake uranium, boom! dead!" Phil stepped up and started to fill his bottle

"Ok what's this to do with the ransom?" Jim said looking up at the notices pinned up on the wall

"ok, ok so get this, the ransom guy pays us in Bitcoin, Gordon thank god was on hand to set up a bitcoin wallet, boss has no clue, thought they were going to get real coins, ransom guy gets released, Bitcoin all safe and sound, Bam! Gordon dies, boss trys to get into the Bitcoin wallet, uses all the trys, wallets locked, we cant get the coins"

"ah shit" Jim takes a small notice off the board for the sale of a toboggan "kids want to go to the snow before the boss melts it all" he responds to Phils raised eyebrow.

"so any way" Phil stands up "now ive got to go kidnap a few dozen computer science guys to try crack it and get the cash or the virus team don't have the funding to keep the next 'super virus from going world wide" safe under lock and key.

Jim waves for Phil to go first towards the lifts

"did the Virus team say how it was being spread" Jim asks while hitting the lift button.

"Ah water I think" Phil responded idly while looking at the number on the lift door slowly move.

Phil and Jim move to the side as the lift doors open and a figure in full hazmat gear steps out and walks down the hall.

"you know maybe we go out and get a coffee today?" Phil says while looking down at his water bottle

Coffee Talk

The pneumatic hiss of the decontamination chamber welcomed Henchperson Echo back to the office after a few weeks of paid vacation. The sound that normally brought dreadful thoughts about the upcoming work day instead delivered a wave of comfort and familiarity through her synapses. She'd showed up early hoping to catch up with her colleagues on the comings and goings during her absence. Cubicles sat empty, only half the lights on and no muzak playing. Echo made her way to the break room to brew some morning coffee for everyone.

"Hey Echo! You're back!" Her colleague Henchperson Lima greeted her with a smile.

Echo went in for a friendly hug. Lima didn't return the gesture. Echo was taken aback. "Do I smell?" She sniffed her armpit to double check.

Lima shrugged and rolled up the sleeve of his company issued lab coat. A tangle of cables and wiring pulsed beneath translucent skin. "Boss has me trying out new prototype prosthetic arms, meant for deep sea exploration. I haven't really gotten the hang of them yet."

"When do you get your real arms back?" Echo asked without missing a beat.

"Couple weeks, boss says that should give him enough data to work with." Lima groaned. "How was vacation?"

"Awesome. Boss had his personal travel agent set it all up. First class all the way. How are the kids?" She asked.

Lima looked longingly at the coffee pot. "Can you pour me a cup please? I tend to crush anything I try to grab now." He said sadly. Echo poured him a mug and held it to his lips for him. "Kids are good. Katie got accepted to the college of her dreams, courtesy of the boss putting in a good word for her, and the company awarded her a generous scholarship."

"That was nice of...holy shit what happened to you!?" Echo asked as a six foot tall bipedal chameleon with a humanoid face sauntered into the break room. A long tail propping up the back of its lab coat. It resembled Henchperson Golf. "That is you, isn't it G?" She asked.

Golf rolled his eyes. "Nice to see you too E." He grumbled as he pushed past her to the coffee maker. Golf adjusted quickly to his new sticky appendages, able to pour himself a cup of coffee while adding cream and sugar with his tail. "Boss wanted to test out a new method of camouflage by manipulating human skin to mimic the color changing properties of a chameleon. It uh...didn't work." G said with a grumble.

"Are you stuck like that?" Echo asked curiously.

"Boss says he can reverse it after he re-sequences my genomic structure. Hopefully before my vacation coming up. Gonna be the best one yet." G declared.

"You say that every year. Looks like things were busy around here while I was gone.."

"Oh my god E, you're back! I missed you!" Squealed Henchperson Foxtrot, an excitable young woman, her hands flailed in the air as she squealed with delight. Foxtrot looked as she always did, her curly red hair popped against her white lab coat and pale complexion. No robotic limbs visible or scaly skin. Echo gave her a friendly hug.

"Good to see you.."

"Oh my god E, you're back! I missed you!" Squealed another Henchperson Foxtrot, identical to the first down to the exact motions of her flailing hands, only this version phased through Echo like a fine mist.

Foxtrot chuckled. "Never mind that. Residual after image due to quantum tunneling. How was vacation? Tell me all about it." She said excitedly.

Echo smiled, three rows of razor sharp teeth hidden behind her lips. For as dysfunctional as they were, she had missed her work family.

"Have you heard back from Larry recently?"

"Not since last week, poor guy is going to be out for at least 6 months. When Nova Knight threw him against the wall his back got messed up real bad."

"At least the insurance plan is taking care of-"

"That's the thing, it's not. Because we were ambushed at 5:30 it's considered beyond working hours. Admin claims it's a personal problem"

"Unbelievable..."

"I know."

" Sometimes I really wonder if it's all worth it. My old college buddies work in tech and they easily clear 6 figures. The company benefits are amazing, one office has a full time barista. Any drink you want, any time imagine that."

"Well at least we got water!" Simon chuckled as he slapped the water cooler. " I guess the grass is always greener."

"No, I'm serious !" Will remarked. " I really wonder if it's worth it sometimes. At my college career fair Dr. Wrath sold me the world. He told me I could make a difference. That I could a part of something that would make the world a worse place. What have we accomplished so far?"

" Well we changed the planets atmosphere to raise global temperature 0.9 degrees Celsius."

"Half the world believes that was due to natural causes or doesn't believe it in the first place!"

"How about the assassination of Captain Justice?"

"Come on, the guy was retired. If it wasn't for us heart disease would've done the job."

"..." Simon agreed but couldn't think of a response.

In the brief silence. A figure appeared strolling down the hallway. Tall and slender it was Dr. Wrath. The fabric of his clothes seemed to absorb the light, casting a shadow over everything around him. His black trench coat obscured his shape rendering him to look like a stick of black licorice, although no one dared to make the joke.

"Back to work boys! The economy is not going to destabilize itself." Dr. Wrath stated as he walked past the men neither breaking stride nor making eye contact.

Simon and Will gave each other a look and parted ways back to their desks. The day was young and so were their careers. The easiest thing for them in the moment was to do as they were told. At least they were not in Larry's position.

"Five years I've been doin this job, Five years!"

"And not one promotion?"

"Not even a hit. It's always Charles, clean the Parana tank, Charles polish the Mega-Laser... Never Charles, how are Mossy and the kids... you know she turned 9 last week?"

"9 already? The time really flies!"

"I missed her party though.... when that stupid agent decided to crash his plane into the Satelite dish... I was picking up rubble off the cliff for hours. Didn't even get the overtime we were promised...."

"Can't you file a report?"

"File a report? Are you insane? Don't you remember the last guy who 'Filed a report'? I had to clean up the mess!"

Welcome to the Prompt! All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.

Reminders:

>* No AI-generated reponses 🤖 >* Stories 100 words+. Poems 30+ but include "[Poem]" >* Responses don't have to fulfill every detail >* [RF] and [SP] for stricter titles >* Be civil in any feedback and follow the rules

🆕 New Here? ✏ Writing Help? 📢 News 💬 Discord

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[deleted]

[deleted]