Now before you start judging me with such disgust, hear me out. You are obviously unaware of the gravity of the situation. There's more life in the universe than what's just on Earth.

Some life forms are mere amoeba, some are intelligent, and some are average just like you and I. I've been a part of REDACTED institute for 34 years now. We've kept our discoveries under wraps, due to the uproar that would inevitably occur between various belief systems.

I can tell you, we've made some fascinating discoveries in the vastness of the universe, but after a while, it gets boring. Yes, there are billions of other species out there, each surviving their environments in their own unique ways. That's all it is though. Life... Eating, excreting, and reproducing. Nothing spectacular.

That was, until 2021. We had just finished a meeting, celebrating the launch of one of our best probes towards the REDACTED galaxy, when we get a "blip" notification. Something was moving beyond, on the radar.

I don't know how to describe this "something" in a physical sense. It was just a dark mass, yet it moved with intent. We witnessed as it skimmed over planet REDACTED, like it was searching for something. Whatever it was looking for it didn't find and traveled on.

We changed our route to follow this... Thing. A couple of months pass, and it "thing" arrives at planet 2. This is a planet happens to be inhabited by our closest intelligent living beings. They are best described as giant jellyfish, with the smallest life forms being that of 300ft tall, and their technology far surpasses our own.

We watched as multiple laser-like lines sprawled out from various positions on this planet. This did not hinder "thing" one bit. It cast a shadow, engulfing the whole planet, and slowly melted into it, dissolving it like acid. What a terrible way to die!

Half of the office started puking. I admit, I was one of them. Then reality kicked in after the shock. If even these intelligent beings couldn't stop it, what is our fate?

While keeping an eye on "Thing", we were also scrambling to figure out a way to defeat it. We watched helplessly as it moved from planet to planet. It passed up the barren planets, but completely devoured those with life. It was getting closer by the minute.

Understandably, we couldn't inform the public. Could you imagine the panic that would ensue? We were without hope. "Thing" just approached the edge of our solar system 2 months ago. After so many barren planets, it was behaving like it was in a frenzy.

We're doomed anyhow, don't you understand? Thus led to my decision to make a huge human meatball to launch into space to divert it in another direction. (don't worry, we only used the idiots). Do you have a better idea, hero?