“I curse thee and your life

Even in death may you find only strife

Until what you have done has been made right

Shall you again see this sun’s light”

Those were the last words she spoke to me before she passed. I still hear them now ringing in my ear as I look out over my surroundings. Those words and the death her money gave me are all I remember about my past life. The terrifying feeling as the convulsions started and I lost control over my own body. Those feelings pale compared to the terror I feel now. As I arrived a sword was thrust into my hand, and I was sent to the frontline of a war I know not. I see my foes facing me and know truly what terror is. That terror only lasts for a moment though as my body is painfully dissolved in acid spat from a demon across the range. I still remember it taking hours for me to fully die.

The second was better at least in this world they gave me a spear and my foes were humans. Still, that didn’t help me when a great sword cut my spear in half and then my belly in the next moment. My entrails spilling out and boots stamping over me are not memories I can ever forget.

And so, it went for me. Almost always wars and almost always gruesome deaths. Sometimes it was adventuring parties where I was sold as monster bait. Sometimes I was made to be a meat shield while wizards cast spells buying them just a few seconds as my corpse was devoured by all kinds of beasts. Every time it happened the pain of those deaths stuck with me; I can still feel every sword in my body. Every gnawed at bone aches. This time though I finally, after 49 deaths each as gruesome as the last, did it right. I smile and look over at the woman sleeping next to me giving her belly just now starting to bulge a hearty rub. The high general of this world’s premier army. When she saw me broken and shattered, she gave me comfort not pity. She held me as I screamed at invisible things. She was there as I scratched at scars I did not have. She cried with me as the pain I did not have became overwhelming. She was there for me when no other was. Smiling I cuddle in tight and close my eyes.

I feel something shaking me awake. Confused I lash out at the unshaped beings above me. They quickly back off and I feel something long in my arm. As I pull the needle out, I hear the familiar voice of my dealer above me offering platitudes for the trouble. All I can think of though is what has been lost and I begin to cry true and honest tears that I have not wept before. I can still remember the life I had lost even if it may not be real, I know what it has taught me. So, with the dealers protest behind me I walk out the door with a swiftness I should not have, a shirt that should have been loose on my body now pressed tight, and memories of a life I have not lived. Forward to a better tomorrow.