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Blue_Shirt_Hornet t1_itj17w6 wrote

"Dammit, this is the fourth one this month" Alyra sighs as she puts out the fire beneath the cauldron of boiling water. What a good soup that could have become, had she not been interrupted.

She leaves her comfortable wooden home and calmly walks over to the metal hatch that serves as entry to humanity's last great mark on Terra. With the help of the elevator, she descends to the comm room where her assistant connects to the vessel that is currently orbiting her planet. With the translation software running smoothly, she is ready to get this over with.

Clearing her voice, she speaks "Good day to you. You are being contacted by Alyra Gordon, overseer of planet Terra. I have opened communications with you in order to clarify the status of the planet you have approached.

After a short silence, the foreign ship responds. "What the... We have scanned this planet and it only revealed primitive life forms, I didn't expect we would be contacted like this. I am Admiral Gallahan, and my migrant fleet has been looking for a planet to rest and gather supplies from. Would you mind explaining the situation?" the voice was strange and high-pitched.

"Certainly. Although it might be hard to tell, this planet is the property of The United Coalition of Humanity. Only one human resides on it and hardly any remnants of our civilization remain on its surface, however, it is the site of one of our oldest projects. This is why I must ask you to continue your search for a suitable planet elsewhere." she said, leaning back in her chair and waiting for their response.

"Ridiculous. Humanity claims to own an entire garden world that is clearly still wild, with only one of its members on it? It is ripe for exploitation, yet you would deny those in need of its resources?" interestingly the pitch of the voice lowered, perhaps expressing anger.

"It is clearly stated in the rules imposed by the galactic council that at least one member of a species must be present on a planet for it to retain its status as that species' property. Had it not been that way, my presence would not be required. If it is the legality of it all that you are concerned with, I have already transmitted all of the documents proving ownership to you."

"And I have received them. However, I cannot abide by this. Humanity's civilization is settled a dozen solar systems away, prospering and needing for nothing, and yet for some reason, they claim a random planet orbiting an unremarkable star as their own, choosing to do nothing with it. Denying others who need it more than they do. I'm sorry miss Alyra, perhaps you are not solely responsible for your species' choice in this matter, but we are a proud people and will not stand by this injustice. Eliminating humanity's only representative should solve our problems" the admiral concludes, as the woman sighs.

In a bored tone, as though she already knows her actions are futile but is still required to follow protocol, she speaks "I must advise against such an attack. Humanity is willing and able to pro-" her words were cut short by the beeping of the map next to her, showing that the planetary magnetic missile shield had just intercepted a direct strike from a quantum laser cannon. Giving up on her earlier warning, she proceeds with an announcement.

"Having recorded that the first strike has been dealt by one of your ships, I am now permitted to open fire"

Targeting the exact ship that first fired, she uses the defense system of her bunker to swiftly take it out. She also takes this time to analyze the foreign ships. As she had been informed, they were a migrant fleet, and some of their ships were certainly housing unarmed civilians. What a risky move this is on their part, it would be nice to settle this without that many casualties, she thought.

The gigantic hunk of metal was blasted away in seconds, hardly leaving any wreckage behind as it disintegrated. "Be warned that if you fire again, all of your ships are liable to get caught in the crossfire," she said.

"You would go that far to defend this empty planet? You would kill millions of my people ...for this?"

"I'm sorry Admiral, but you see, humans are melancholic creatures. One after another, we had several scientific breakthroughs that brought us to prosperity we never would have thought possible, immortality, travel at the speed of light, and true artificial intelligence, in only a few of our years, we had it all. Just as we were getting ready to leave for greener horizons, we couldn't help but spare a guilty glance back at our home. Dirty, polluted, dying, old Earth, the pale blue dot that was bathed in the blood of our wars, that had seen all of our accomplishments, that was sickened by our exploitation. We reached a consensus at some point, that we wouldn't leave our planet in that sorry state. As a parting gift, we cleaned it up. The others took the monuments of our past with them to their new home and left Terra as clean as they could manage, in the hopes of preserving whatever was left of the fauna and flora that evolved alongside our species. I've been stationed here ever since, monitoring and protecting this planet from outside intervention. Does the full story suffice? Is this enough to convince you that we won't give up on this planet so easily?"

"I... understand now. We can hardly remember how long ago we lost our home planet, we would never take it away from another species. If you would allow us to leave, we would be willing to do so."

"You are permitted to depart, I wish you luck in your search." she says.

After confirming that all of the vessels have left earth orbit, she gets up from her chair and leaves the cold metal construction, heading instead to her cabin. She notices that, on the table, where she had left a few chopped-up tomatoes, there was now an uncomfortable amount of flies. Defeated, she takes the tomatoes and tosses them out on the ground, for nature and the bugs to reclaim.

"Annoying, but perhaps there is something beautiful in the mechanisms of nature"

Leaning on the creaky wooden structure that she had built for herself, she gazes at the distant forest. A forest that, only a thousand years ago, had been destroyed by the greed of her people. Now, the trees rose so high up in the sky that she was having trouble seeing the sunset behind them.

"It is good to be home" she chuckles to herself

The end


Man, I really shouldn't have stayed up so late to write this, I'm sure the quality is pretty bad, especially the second half, I didn't even finish the ending. I might adjust it tomorrow...

Anyway, constructive feedback is always welcome. I'm new at this so feel free to tell me why you think it sucked so I can improve.

Edit: I did adjust it! Hopefully the ending is ok

Also, I really didn't expect to wake up today to so many upvotes and positive comments, thank you all!


mage_in_training t1_itjgmjk wrote

I like this, truth be told. Not what I expected and very wholesome. I had expected some kind of dystopian apocalypse, maybe with zombies.

I was not disappointed.


UltimateKane99 t1_itjkpc5 wrote

I loved the story. Really drove home the need to take care of our planet. I feel bad for the migrant fleet, but it's important to recognize that any space faring species must, by its very nature, be understanding of how important homeworlds are.


Blue_Shirt_Hornet t1_itkkpe5 wrote

Agreed. To be honest, at first I only said that they were a migrant fleet because that was the first thing that came to mind. Only later did I realize that this is a confrontation between a species that had lost its home planet and one that refuses to. Made my tired little brain happy at like, 3am when I was writing this.

Anyway, I'm really glad you liked it!


Acemanau t1_itk3g59 wrote

God I love how you didn't make it depressing. So much defeatist and sad writing now-a-days.

This was fantastic and positive.


Blue_Shirt_Hornet t1_itkjw6r wrote

Originally I was planning on doing something apocalypse related but it was slowly becoming clear to me that the idea made no sense. Then I changed it up a bit. Instead of Alyra being the last human, she was the last human on Earth.

I remember that worried glance back at the prompt to see whether that was allowed, thankfully it was.

Overall I'm pretty happy with how it turned out. Way more positive than I had expected.

I'm really glad you liked it!


Acemanau t1_itkk3tp wrote

So much doom and gloom these days, it gets tiring you know.


sir_duckingtale t1_itjwc0x wrote

End it with her going back to her soup,

Looking out over the planet sighing..

„It‘s good to be home.“


BearyGoosey t1_itlj5nl wrote

That's beautiful! I love the (impossibly 'pie in the sky' high) fantasy of humanity actually trying to do right by this planet.


Blue_Shirt_Hornet t1_itm4tyr wrote

Heh, thanks a lot. It's fantasy after all, why not have humanity being decent every once in a while


LordOfBadgerland t1_itl30jp wrote

I really enjoyed reading your story! Thank you for staying up and writing this.


Blue_Shirt_Hornet t1_itl3igj wrote

Thanks a lot!

Sometimes you find a prompt that really speaks to you and it doesn't matter that you should have gone to sleep 2 hours ago.


GrunkleStanwhich t1_itj6gat wrote

"To be lonely is to be whole." The phrase repeated in my head as I tilled the dirt again and again. It continued to echo in my mind as I moved from one patch of dirt to the next in a mindless lull. The crops would need to be rotated soon, I thought; that thought replacing the ever repeating phrase and breaking me from the monotony. Winter was setting in fast and if I didn't get the wheat down fast then my life would be even harder come spring. That was a lesson I'd learned early. One of the first winters on my own, after I'd lost the cows those many moons ago. God I remember bawling for days after at the thought of being lonely once again. But one day for whatever reason that week I got wise. Realized that loneliness was nothing in the face of the rest of the world.

I dropped another seed into the ground, covering it up with a small pile of moist dirt, and then moving on to the next hole in a seemingly endless row. Of course deep down I knew it not to be, but with no end in sight it was a hard sell for my brain.

As the wind picked up I brought my hood up over my head and pulled my collar up a little further. Wasn't usually so much wind out here, especially with the trees acting as a windbreak and all, but today it was unusually violent. It picked up more and more over the next few minutes until the trees bent. Until the hood was blown from my head and the seeds ripped from my hand. I watched as the dirt I had just covered a seed with was blown away, taking the seed with it. The dirt whipped at my neck and stung my eyes until I had no choice but to duck flat on the ground.

Then, just as fast as it had started, it stopped with a suddenness that put my hair on end. What followed was complete quiet. As if the world had been sucked dry of its sounds and I would never hear anything again. I tested just to be sure, letting out a single word. "Hello?" my voice trailed off into the field. Then, as if in reply, a voice boomed from above.

“Yeah this planet will do!” I looked around for a face to connect to the noise only to find nothing. So I settled on the sky instead.

"Will do what?" I spoke up to the sky. There was a long pause before the next reply.

"...We had not realized this planet was inhabited. Scans showed quite the opposite." the voice boomed. "Are you the only life form left?"

" I suppose so. Always figured I was but with your scans saying so then I guess it must be."

"Hm. That is curious. I...we have never encountered a whole planet with just one inhabitant. You must be very resilient."

"I prefer the term resistant. But sure, think of me how you like." I leaned down and remade the hole from before, then dropped in a new seed from the ground and covered it. I continued my tasks until the voice from above formulated anything important to say, but usually they didn't

"We had planned to take this place. Use it as an outpost along the galactic highway. We would grant you a hefty payment. A spot in an inhabited zone-"

"I'm alright. Thanks" I brushed off the voice as I continued planting.

"But it's a whole planet, surely you-

"I said I'm fine." This time my voice came out more stern, more annoyed. There was work to be done.

"Have it your way then. We will say we tried." the voice trailed off from above.

"I wouldn't do what you're about to do if I were you....there. Now I tried too."

There was a quiet, electric noise as the ship above materialized closer to the ground then I'd thought it was. It warbled just above, massive and chrome, casting a shadow across my farm in its shape. It was not a disk, as I'd assumed, but rather a shape that reminded me of one of those tall buildings in the cities: long and sleek, coming almost to a point in the front. I tried to guess what would come out of it. Maybe some kinda fish thing, with gills and a helmet full of water. Or maybe a bird like I'd seen in the books, with big black wings and a huge beak.To my disappointment what came out was neither of the two. It was instead eerily human, human enough from a distance, but up close not entirely right. Its skin was restless. Its eyes too wide, and mouth empty, toothless. The two creatures looked me up and down before pulling out a small box and placing it on the ground.

"You will of course still be compensated, but we cannot allow one being to be the downfall of our plans. I think tha-" he paused and his eyes grew wide. He let out a noise like a cough, a raspy pulse of hard breath. Then another, and another until there were no longer pauses between them. The other one began looking down at his skin, which now reddened despite the sun being blocked by their ship.

"I-I...when did it get so hot?"

I had gone back to my farming and only spoke up to them between movements " It didn't. You did. It's one of the symptoms. He's got one of the other ones." the coughing one was now on the ground violently hacking up nothing but air.

"Bring us back! Bring us in!" within a blink the two beings disappeared back into the ship. There was another long silence that followed. This ship did not depart, it simply hung there in the sky. I looked back up to them, hoping they could hear me through their agony.

"I did not conquer this planet, it was conquered by something else. Did you not wonder why I was alone? Why I choose to be alone? I am not just the sole earthly survivor, I am patient zero."

With that the ship careened off towards the fields and came down sideways in a violent nosedive to the ground. A massive cloud of dust shrouded the chrome vehicle. They were not the first to offer me that proposition, and they would not be the last. It would take some time, surely more time than I had, but I would bury them like the others. I would be lonely once more.

"To be lonely is to be whole."


PACATTACK7977 t1_itk0v24 wrote

That was great. You did a good job. Keep up the good work dude


GrunkleStanwhich t1_itnpjgz wrote

As a person who questions himself a lot, this comment means a lot. Thanks!


VacuumInTheHead t1_itl1qxe wrote

I can't tell if it's implied that the MC lives a long time or if alien visits are very common. Anyway, great writing! 👍


Cringehipster t1_iti19pc wrote

“OH HELL NO YOU DONT!” Michael said before aiming a missile towards the sky.

“What is that thing going to do to us?” The voice in the sky booms.

“Hello? I am the only person on the planet, I am armed with nuclear weapons!”

“But we have more guys?”


“We’re capable of sniping you with the millions of guns on our vessel, sir.”

“I already thought of that.”

“How would you be able to deflect a laser?”

“Why would I tell you that?”

“Alright, commence firing in 3, 2,-” but before the invaders could fire, Micheal lets off the missile. It careens into the sky, before a small thud is heard and Michael leaps into house wearing an ‘oopsie’ type of expression. A laser sprints through the house, burning a hole through the roof.

“Target eliminated. Securing position.”

The aliens land next to the house, excited to see the remnants of the last survivor’s lifestyle. They look at the house and notice that there’s a huge metal freezer inside. The raider’s couldn’t react in time as Michael kicks open the freezer door, unloading all of his weapons onto his assailants.

After finishing them all, Michael goes to a wounded soldier and asks him, “So, you gonna teach me on how to pilot this thing?”

“The council will find you.” Michael stepped on his wound and he yelled, “Arrrgghh.”

“That wasn’t what I asked.”

“Okay, Okay.”

<> <> <>

Over on the home planet of the invaders, the council is awaiting for news of success.


The council picks up the intercom to listen to the message.

“Yeah, this planet will do…”


The_hEDS_Rambler t1_itjza27 wrote

The year is 3015, and I am the last human on Earth.

The apocalypse wasn't caused by one major cataclysmic event, but rather, by several things all working in tandem. Wars, famines, plagues, climate change causing massive floods, machines turning sentient, and of course the zombies, can't forget the zombies, all worked together to create a world in which I became the last human on earth. Somehow immune to the zombie virus and the various plagues. Somehow miraculously surviving every hit as it came. I'm not someone with great strength or great intelligence. Some people are just born lucky, and I guess I'm one of them. Or perhaps I am the most remarkably unlucky person, to live through all of these calamities and never get a chance to rest. Perhaps, this is Hell.

Still, I found this place, at least. The last spot on Earth that's not a barren wasteland. That's safe from the robots and the zombies. And so, I built a farm, completely off the grid, and now I grow crops. I don't eat meat anymore . . . since the animals also became infected with the zombie virus. Those that weren't mutated by nuclear radiation and pollution. It's too bad, too. I miss steak.

As I'm tending to my crops, I hear a loud, distorted voice from the sky.

"Yeah, this planet will do . . . ."

I haven't had to talk in many years. I'm not sure my voice would even come out if I tried. It'd be pointless to say anything, anyway. They wouldn't hear me. I look up to see if I can find a ship or anything, but I can't. Well, this is either a hallucination or another apocalypse is about to start. So I do what I always do when I know something bad is going to happen. I hide.

I sprint toward my house. Once I get there, there's a latch in the floor I can pull up to access the underground tunnels I dug. I knew someday it would come to this. But before I know it, a giant spaceship hovers above me, then lands in front of me, destroying my house. I immediately turn around and start running the opposite way, but the creatures in the ship grab me with their slimy tentacles. I'm restrained.

"You. What are you? We don't see any of your kind around. Are you endangered?" the creature asks.

"I . . . ." My voice comes out cracked and hoarse. I look down at the ground.

"No worries. We will just read your mind, if there's even an intelligent thought in it," says the creature. It puts one of its tentacles on my head and . . . flashes of everything that has happened to me circle through my mind. The alien backs off.

"I . . . I see . . . ," it says in a tone of abject terror. It presses a button on its intercom. "This planet will not do! I repeat! This planet will not do! It is fucked up!"

And I laugh. Well, more like I try to laugh. It comes out more of a cough and a wheeze.

"We will be bringing an endangered species with us to protect it," the creature continues. And that gets me to stop laughing.

"Wh . . . wha -?" Before I can say another word, something is injected into my neck. And everything goes black.

- - - -

And so, in a galaxy far, far, away, I am on display. Before the apocalypse, I was a zookeeper. The irony's not lost on me, that I find myself as a zoo exhibit now. Sometimes, I think this is a better life. I don't have to scrimp and scrounge. Food and water is always provided for me. But, even though things are great and easy here . . .

There's no place like home.

And I think I found a way out. I don't know if it'll work, but since I've been so good at running away from everything, well. I think it can work. Wish me luck.


FinnMeister101 t1_itkno34 wrote




The Ensign stared at his console. The initial drone survey stated this planet had no current sentient life. But to the contrary of all logic, an oldman brandished a shovel at him through the console’s screen.


The tiny man on screen shouted at the ensign. Dumbstruck the officer could not get a word in edgewise. As the figure continued to shout obscenities. It only took a few moments for the Captain to notice the commotion.

“Is there a problem officer?” The captain calmly asked.

“I’m sorry, Ma’am.” The ensign scrambled over the consoles buttons and flipped a few switches.

“Uh this planet appears to be—“

“OCCUPIED!” The man’s voice crackled through the console.

“Occ… Occupied, Ma’am.”

The captain moved to the console. Examined the console and screen.

“Well first ensign, lets turn off the drone’s PA system.”

“FUCK OFF!” A shout came from the screen.

The captain ignored the antics and flipped a switch.

“And you’ve run a diagnostics, the drone’s cloaking system is operational?” She gestured to the screen.

“Yes ma’am I just ran it, it’s functioning.”

The captain folded her arms. “Well it isn’t impossible for a species to see in infrared.”

She paused for a moment in thought. “What the development level on his settlement?”

“Crude, would be an overstatement ma’am.”

The captain waved dismissively. “This whole continent’s a wash. Terminate the drone and put us over the other side of the planet and he won’t know the difference.”

She sat back down in the captain’s seat. “Someone get me the survey drone’s data packet too.”

A lieutenant took over for the ensign. “It looks like the survey drone got most of it’s scans done, but it looks like it self terminated prematurely.”

“Damn glitchy things.” The spoke under her breath rapping her fingers on her arm rest.

“But the planet is a perfect candidate.”

“Good, prepare initial shuttles.”

A senior lieutenant spoke up.

“Captain, we are getting hailed by the flag ship.”

The captain clasped her hands. “Good timing, I am sure Admiral Duad will be happy with the good news. Put him through on speakers.”

A pierce of static and crackling crashed through the bridge’s audio system. Followed by


The captain looked panicked “what is the meaning of this Lieutenant.”

The senior lieutenant threw up his hands. ”I don’t know! I can’t block it?!”

The bridge crew scrambled to general quarters.

“GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! GO ON GIT! SHUU!! LEAVE!“ blared over the speakers.

“How did he spoof our IFF!?” The captain began to collect herself.

“I Don’t know!” The senior lieutenant still pawed at the control panel.




Thud A dull thud knocked the ship to the side. it began to drift as the verbal tirade continued over the PA.”

The captain turned to the commander who just arrived at his console.”

“What was that commander.” Urgency and confusion straining her face.

“It looks like all the port side drone pods have been launched at once.” The commander read the ship’s readout.

His eyes darted back to the captain. “We’ve been knocked off trajectory.”

“Get us back into orbit commander.” The captain snapped.

Another dull thud knocked the ship the opposite direction.

“Starboard side?”

“Starboard side.”


In a small flash the bridge went dark. The faint red glow emergency lightning kicked in.

“Captain controls are not responding.” The commander started sounding concerned as the atmosphere began flash outside the view screen.

“OKAY WE’LL LEAVE!” The captain finally caved.

“YOU WILL?” The man’s voice cracked.

“Yes, just give us back control.” The captain stammered.

“Oh, okay, get outa here!” The voice calmed slightly.

After a brief moment the lights returned and the ship stabilized.

“Get us out of here commander.”

A half a world away an old man closed the back panel of a saucer shaped robot.

“Okay that should keep them off our backs for awhile.”

The drone gave a happy chirp, its robotic arms swinging out as it twirled.

“Now lets go find your friends.”

——- Oh snap thanks for the silver. ——-


Blue_Shirt_Hornet t1_itkogb5 wrote

Man, this is really adorable. I love the energy of the old man. Good job!


sky_neverending t1_itixtsg wrote

“what the fuck?” I whispered to myself after hearing the voice. I looked around, searching for something, anything, that could’ve caused this strange noise. It was weird, I hadn’t heard a voice other than my own in years.

Shrugging it off as a hallucination, I went back to watering my crops, as it was one of my only pastimes, and again i heard a voice, louder and more confident this time. “Hey! You down there!”

I looked up and saw a large ship hovering above me. A man peered out the window, waving down at me. “Yeah! You! What are you doing here?” Before i could answer the ship descended downwards, a warm blast of air blowing on me and my crops.

When the ship landed, the man walked toward me. He was oddly human like, with tan skin and bright green eyes, unnaturally bright, and he looked about 25. He was wearing a pale blue jacket with some sort of symbol on it, and black pants. his black hair swooped over his eyes, sleek and clean, unlike my own dirty brown mess that hadn’t been washed in a week. Suddenly i felt self conscious.

He extended a hand towards me, and i took a moment to admire his long fingers, with clean and well cut fingernails. My own hands were a mess, dirt under my nails from my days out on the field. I washed them often, of course, but dust builds up when there’s no one else around.

I took his hand in mine, trying not the think about how warm it was, and the fact that it was the first contact i’d had with another human like life form in about 17 years.

“Ian.” He said, and i realised it was his name. Ian. It felt odd, hearing another persons name. I responded with my own, saying it out loud for the first time in a while.


“Well, Nathan, it is very nice to meet you. Would you like to come aboard my ship, talk for a moment? My crew would love to meet such a specimen as yourself.”

I looked down. A specimen? What was that supposed to mean. Without better judgement, I asked. He seemed confused when I did, and took a step closer to me. Suddenly, he let out a gasp.

“Oh! Your a humanoid! I figured with all that dirt, you were some sort of wild creature with the ability to talk! How wonderful!”

I should’ve been offended, but his voice was so melodic and cheery I practically melted for it. He was, in every way possible, perfect. No, i thought to myself. He’s not. he’s just the first person you’ve seen in ages, and you like that he’s here. That’s it.

He guided me onto his ship and introduced me to his small crew, approximately 11 others. They all had the same, clean, sleek look to them, all clad in the same pale blue jacket. Yet somehow, none of them looked as good at Ian did.

I pinched myself for thinking that.

Ian showed me around, and stopped in front of a door.

“Would you like to take a shower?”

I looked at him. “Wow Ian, we just met and your already trying to take my clothes off? Or do i just smell bad?” I remarked, and he blushed profusely and looked at the floor.

“No, no. It’s just- you look a bit dirty.”

I was more than a bit dirty, i would admit. The hot water had broken a few weeks back and due to it being winter, I hadn’t yet fixed it. And showering in cold water during a snowstorm sucked.

I thanked him and walked in, admiring all the smooth marbles and fancy glass features. Before closing the door, I looked him in the eyes.

“Thank you, Ian.” I smiled, and he blushed once more.

He didn’t even know what I was thanking him for. it was more than shelter, warm water, even company. It was for making me feel again.


Empty_Vegetable4381 t1_itkb2qd wrote

And this is where I want more to a story now please.


sky_neverending t1_itlbzm4 wrote

considering actually making it a story, should I?


Empty_Vegetable4381 t1_itld854 wrote

Yes please


sky_neverending t1_itlk0qh wrote

screw homework, im doing this rn. i’ll link it when i’m done


Empty_Vegetable4381 t1_itlne8j wrote

Haha, you don't have to avoid your homework... I just thought it was a cute story, and while the romantic part may not be played up, I enjoy the hints at what it could be.


sky_neverending t1_itlrp5r wrote

thank you! i figured going the romantic route would be interesting because it’s not what you would expect. definitely more to come….


Writing_Dude09 t1_itki9fp wrote

Sweat pooled around my neck, trapped by my shirt collar as I loosened it for what felt like the 100th time this hour. It was hard to not freak out after everything that's happened, but I was determined not to. For my planet at least. If told me 24 hours ago an intergalactic empire was attempting take over my planet, I would've probably believed you since I was going mad from isolation. Not good being the last of your kind, but I digress. Turns out, some alien race called... something that sounded like ticks and chirps, but was stopped by the best and worst thing to ever be created.


The lines of bureaucracy.


You can't buy a planet if another sentient race is on it, and unwilling to sell. Kind of like how you can't buy a house with someone living in it. However, crooked lawyers have transcended humans, and these creatures are pulling some loophole to swing the jury in their favour.


So. here I was. Sweating up a storm holding unintelligible documents that stated my case.


"Could Human #2937987189678936871 Please enter court room 17. Your case is in session."


Turns out they also numbered us for some reason, can't complain. More work on their behalf. I'm currently writing this in pure English, something these aliens can't understand, so if you can read this, wish me luck. Or not. Either I've doomed Earth, or saved it.


I've got a case to win.


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