"So what you're saying is, you're a wizard?"

"NO! That's just the curse talking! I can assure you I am not a wizard!"

"Are you, or are you not an old man who lives alone in some drafty monstrosity, casting spells and cackling to yourself while wearing a pointy hat?"

"Well... I mean, yes, but--"

"So you're a wizard."

"NO! I'm an ordinary man who was cursed to take the form of 'a creature that humans would find indistinguishable from a wizard!' "

"Uh huh. And where, exactly, did this curse come from?"

"Well, I was messing around with this creepy old book with skulls on it--"

"Classic wizard move."

"Shut up. Anyway, my familiar accidentally knocked over one of my potions--"

"Those are both wizard things! Look, it says so right here in the DMG, in the description for the 'Craft Magical Item' Feat."

"Nooooo! You don't understand! I'm wizened! Wizened, I tell you!"

"I say! Are you an ordinary human who's been polymorphed into an exact duplicate of Ian McKellen?"

"YES! Finally, someone gets it! And just like that, my curse is broken! But how did you know?"

"Oh, that's easy. I'm a male witch!"

...

"What's your name?"

"Mitch."