Man, this is totally relatable, I mean I'm dating a Barbaress.

The culture shock thing isn't what you should be concerned about, because they obviously adore you. They wouldn't let you touch the hogs if that wasn't the case; orcs and Barbarians are super picky about food, and outsiders aren't even allowed at the table if they're not considered family.

(Don't get me started on Brobdinian gatherings, where just a little too much sunwater will have everyone with whitemoss speaking Brobdi and leaving you in the lurch, whether you're an outsider or not.)

Don't worry about how much they're making you lift. Do they speak about you in Orcish like you aren't there, or deliberately exclude you from anything? I think we need some INFO as to whether you feel otherwise comfortable with the family...I know elves have the habit of being partially xenophobic as a whole, so the fact you're dating an orc means that little character flaw isn't one of yours.

If they're making every effort to include you, relax. I would probably go with N T A because she might've been scaring your family members by lifting them, and I don't think she meant to.