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Thenre t1_iuhvt41 wrote

"Galactic Garden News here with the latest update on this developing crisis. The Merry Worma has spread rapidfire throughout the human empire, eradicating every marijuana plant used in the production of space weed. Characterized mainly by its behavior of laying dormant within the plant until a joint is rolled with the harvest before causing the joint to grow legs and wings and flying away to infect other nearby plants, the Merry Worma has recently been found to spread through the lungs of people who inhale the smoke and then are around the living plant during the incubation cycle as well. We go live now to the last living marijuana plant where resistance efforts are underway."

. . .

'Thank you Mary Jane, things have been bleak here as the employees of The Happy Corporation have been unable to directly resist the invasion. The only thing known to be effective against the enemy is the fire which only helps spread the parasite. Thankfully researchers have found that a high enough blood alcohol content can prevent parasitic infection. To this end the last remaining alcoholics have been pulled out of rehab to fight on the front lines. For centuries there have always been a small group who preferred alcohol to weed and now these heroes are putting their sobriety on the line to protect the last of the galaxy's stash. I have with me Jack Morgan, recently rotated away from combat to sober up.

Jack, how are things on the front lines? "

" I'm so fucking crossfaded bro, I can't fucki- bleargh "

" And now he's vomiting on my shoes. The sacrifice these heroes are putting themselves through is truly inspiring. "


RalseiXD t1_iuivpvu wrote



MrFlubbber t1_iuj8tku wrote

Hard to not see it. What was it supposed to be if not plant?


Tarotgirl_5392 t1_iuj9e7e wrote

Planet. As in earth. But I thought it was going to be climbing vibes or mint. I'm very happy for the twist this took