How long have those two idiots been at this? Two hours? Four? They may be bumbling fools but they were persistent. Intrepid adventurers, the heroic b00bl0ver420 and Sh1tSt41N69 were screaming at each other. The green speakers that floated above their heads popped in and out of existence.

"Okay let's try this again! Stand right here!" b00bl0ver420 hopped up and down like a bunny a few meters away from the bench I was normally stuck to.

"We tried that spot already! I'm telling you it's right here!" Sh1tSt41N69 bunny hopped a few paces away from his party member.

"Fine! Whatever! Can we get this done please? Everybody is waiting outside the boss room, we just have to draw aggro and escort him there safely." b00bl0ver420 danced a dwarven jig while he yelled.

Those two are always doing something weird, they showed emotion in odd ways. A fireball hurled through the air. It missed. Another volley of fireballs followed, all missing their mark. More bickering from the fools.

"This is bullshit! Why is splash damage range RNG based in this fucking game! Are you sure this even works?" Sh1St41N69 sounded irritated, he waved his staff in the air angrily.

"I read it on the discord, the latest patch screwed up this NPC's damage output. The ultimate glass cannon, can one shot anything! Only has fifteen hp though. All you need to do is inflict less than fifteen damage to aggro him. I'll pull aggro with dwarven roar then cast steel skin to absorb his attack. Once we kite him to the boss room BeefSteakBoy will grab boss aggro and turn it around. I lead this NPC over and have it one shot the boss. Guaranteed epic loot!"

A searing heat singed my legs. That son of a bitch just hit me with a fireball! I'll show him. Now the short one is roaring at me. You want some too!? I made haste towards the adventurers. They scurried away, taunting me and periodically chugging blue liquid from glass flasks. These fools were fleet of foot, I could never seem to close the gap. Felt like we were running for miles, first through the foggy forest, then pestilent prairie, finally the dark caverns of madness mountain.

It was a trap! An entire party was waiting for me! Those bastards had backup, they even convinced the crystalline cyclops to help them! No matter, I had to finish what they started. I went to attack the fireslinger when something caught my eye, a large boulder hurtled through the air towards me. I fell. Anguished cries bellowed in the cave.

"What the fuck!? BeefSteak what are you doing!? Why did you not have aggro!?" A shrill voice called out. A piercing shriek of static echoed through the darkness.

"Oh shit.....sorry guys was AFK. Had to piss. Why are we yelling?"

The final sounds of this cycle of life the voice of those bumbling fools.

"You know what? Fuck it! I'm logging off, catch you guys tomorrow." b00bl0ver420 resigned.

"Me too. Good try y'all. We'll run the raid tomorrow. Night everyone." Sh1tSt41N69 faded from existence.

Back on my bench where I belong. Back to watching the adventurers stumble their way to glory. Oh no, here comes another fireslinger. Looks like this is my life now, that of an accidental hero.