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Crystal1501 t1_iueh87p wrote

"Why don't we just wait for the actual day of Halloween?" my friend whines, trying to drag me away.

"Come on, even the monsters treat the actual day with light-heartedness! I want the spooky!" I shake him off.

He looks at me worriedly. "But... but I've heard things... some people who go in never leave, y'know? Halloween is the only safe day!"

I roll my eyes and respond. "That's several months away! Besides, I want to do this! I know the risks!"

"And yet, you didn't prepare ANYTHING? No charms, no crosses..." I hold my hand up to stop him.

"I'm doing this right, leave me alone!" I groan. I was always told I'm too brave, curious and naïve for my own good. I don't care. I want thrills. I want excitement. I want to legit get frightened, not one of those cheap haunted house attractions with no real danger! Several years ago, several creatures - vampires, ghouls, real-life skeletons, even actual shadow creatures - created a town which celebrates Halloween every single night, appropriately named 'Hall O Ween town'.

Apparently, all these denizens of the pumpkin season were fed up of having only one day a year to terrify people, so they created their town. On their day they give people a break who visit, likely to get income from tourists. But the rest of the year is a true test of courage and bravery. It seems fairly normal during the day, but at night, you'll need your wits about you.

"Fine, but you're on your own. Good luck, Dennis!" My friend runs away. I shake my head. I knew he would. As I step towards the town, shrouded by darkness, I notice a sign.






I turn to the side. "I spotted you ages ago, sir. I just have a few questions."

"Hehehe... observant, aren't you lad?" The living scarecrow exits the shadows.

I cross my arms and look at it sternly. "I just want to know what it means by 'weakness'. I know the typical things, like don't scream and don't collapse from fear..."

"Hehehe..." it seems amused. "Scream all you want. Collapse if you can't stand. Weakness means unable to face us. Plenty of people come here with charms and weapons and things... I always warn them. They don't always listen."

I nod. "So I'll be fine."

"Don't get cocky, lad" the scarecrow continues. "Unable to face also means unable to look, being prepared to fight or having the gall to beg us to spare you. Don't think you're safe just because you know, either; it's easy to know... it can be hard to do. Be prepared for horrors beyond your imagination, lad!"

The scarecrow walks back to where it was, looks directly at me, then rips its head off. Some liquid spills out the head. In the dark, it almost looks like a human just killed itself, but of course it's just a scarecrow.

Still, I gulp, but undeterred, walk forward. Wow, this place is so legit, a shiver runs down my spine! Real creepy laughter, shadows moving which I know are actual threats. My heart pounds, but my excitement levels are high!

Hands roughly grab my shoulders and I'm spun around. This... it looks like a human... with no eyes or skull... "EUGH!" I exclaim. I shake him off, maintaining... eye-contact, so to speak, as I walk backwards slowly. A wave from the thing tells me I'm safe.

As I continue on through the town, I see things I can't even begin to describe, but I do my best to heed the words of the scarecrow. I'm not too far from the other side now...

Suddenly, something drops from a branch above me, and in my shock, I let loose a punch... then instantly realise what I did. The thing just stands there. It's not even that scary of a creature - just some tree or plant thing. I take a single step back, locking eyes with it. A vampire flies down. It had been following me. I guess this is why.

"Well, well... so close to the exit, too..." the vampire taunts.

"I was just caught off-guard" I state. I don't break my gaze.

"Still, my friend... rules are rules, would you agree?" He walks towards me.

I take a deep breath. I won't let myself tremble, not in this situation. "You've been watching me the whole time. I faced everything. I didn't skip a single area. I NEVER EVEN SCREAMED!"

The vampire smirks. "Indeed... your courage certainly is not common..."

Good. This is what I want. I broke a rule, I know that. I just wanted to face the guy down. "Ok, so we have an understanding. Tell me: what do you normally do with human captives?"

"Depends on their co-operation." He looks amazed. "I must say, very sly of you, sir. Make me lower my guard to give yourself favourable terms. I'm impressed."

I smile. "Thank you. So, how do we proceed?"

The vampire rubs his chin as he thinks. "You're certainly an interesting one... come with me, to my office."


"So these are my options?" I ask. "I can't, I dunno, work for you?"

"We need to maintain our image" the vampire remarks. I nod as I look through the list of things they do with human captives - become a monster, be enslaved to a monster, be a prisoner, be taken to their land... I want something interesting at least.

The one thing everything has in common is it seems just being in the presence of these immortal beings makes the human immortal themselves, so I want to make sure I really won't regret my choice.

"If I agree to 'be a prisoner', could you at least try to keep it from being boring?" I ask hopefully. The vampire grins...


I'm escorted to the small, empty room again. I'd say I know the drill, but that's impossible. I've become their 'test dummy' for new attempts at scaring the crap out of people. I never know what's coming. A door opens. I wait in nervous anticipation...

Sounds like crawling. Then, it shows. The being without a skull... its head is twisted 180 degrees, looking up, as it crawls on the ground, needles sticking out of its back. It heads right for me, grabbing at my ankles. It tilts its head to 'look' at me. I vomit (not on it, thankfully).

"Ok, that's a success" the vampire's voice calls from above. The being goes back through the door, and after a moment I just laugh.

"Yep, that was creepy!" I exclaim.


Thank you for reading! More stories here!


InkDiamond t1_iuej283 wrote

I'll focus on the intro here.

I think your dialogue stands out. I like how you use punctuation and capitalization to inject some personality into your characters. You keep it energetic

But I must admit, I was pretty confused at what was happening in the story. I think some dialogue tags here would be really useful. Then you can specify who exactly is talking and maybe introduce some fun characteristics about them.


Crystal1501 t1_iuejdgh wrote

Dialogue 'tags'?

Edit: Wait, as in

Vampire: "so here's what we'll do..."

Me: "Ok"


InkDiamond t1_iuejx7l wrote

Yeah things like "he said" or "she screamed" around your dialogue. And then you can get fancy on top of that. Something like:

> "Why don't we just wait for the actual day of Halloween?" the monster pouted. He folded all eight of his arms.

Now you know who's talking and a little info about them


Crystal1501 t1_iuekhqo wrote

Alright, will probably get to that a bit later, thanks!


HSerrata t1_iuexywf wrote

[Treat for Monday]

"Monday!" The silver-haired vampire threw his door open as soon as he saw the pale, rainbow-haired teen on his front step. "Come in, come in! Who's your friend?" he asked. The pair of teens walked into his house, then Monday answered his question in the foyer.

"This is Tessa," she said. "She's a friend from school."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, my name is Mayor Graves," the vampire gently shook Tessa's hand. Then, he turned and led them further into his home. The living room was almost as large as a house. Dark marble tiles covered the floor and blood-red couches were arranged around a cherry wood coffee table. Mayor Graves sat on one side of the table and Tessa followed Monday to sit across from him.

"May I offer you some refreshments?" Mayor Graves asked. Monday's eyes lit up and she gave a faint half-nod before she turned to see what Tessa's answer would be.

"Do you have any Sharp Cola?" Tessa asked. Mayor Graves nodded, then he grabbed a silver bell from the end table next to him and shook it twice before wrapping his hand around it to dull the sound. Two sharp dings filled the air.

"It's my occupation to be an accommodating host," he said. A pale butler in a dark red suit strode into the room and stood next to the Mayor with a bowed head.

"Refreshments for my guests; A Sharp Cola and...," he focused on Monday. "...unicorn blood?" he asked the order; she grinned and nodded at the butler. Tessa noted the stern-faced butler gave Monday a near-imperceptible smile.

"Please, Gideon," she said. "Gimme the works."

"Happily, Miss Monday," the butler nodded and left the room.

"Now, what is it I can do for you?" Mayor Graves asked. "..or perhaps Alicia?" he added. But, Monday shook her head.

"My mom didn't send me," she said. "Ms. Sharp sent us on her behalf to ask you for a favor."

"A favor for Ms. Sharp?" He'd kept tabs on Monday after her mother's visits fell off. He saw extraordinary potential in her and he grew fond of the girl. He was beyond pleased when he learned she found a trusted position with Ms. Sharp. Mayor Graves sat up straighter as if the woman herself was in the room. Just the mention of her name was enough to change his demeanor entirely. In the span of a second, he went from the most important man in town to a low-level nobody that needed orders to be effective. "Consider it done; how may I serve?"

"You know about her school for Unique Souls, right?" Monday asked. The mayor nodded. "One of the students organized a big Halloween event and it was a big hit. It's been popular enough that Ms. Sharp decided to keep it around all year long. And since it's Halloween all year long here...," Monday drifted off after the explanation; Mayor Graves was a smart man.

"Of course!" he nodded with a broad smile. "The extra tourism would be welcome; what's needed from me?" he asked.

"Thirteen of the biggest mansions in town," she said. "And some extra space for the event merchants; but, that's just a parking lot or something. It doesn't have to be a whole other house."

"I can have everything ready by tomorrow," the mayor nodded.

"I appreciate it; but, you don't have to rush that much. Halloween is still tomorrow, so as long as everything is ready on the 1st Ms. Sharp will be pleased," Monday said.

"And so she shall be," Mayor Graves replied. As he answered, Gideon returned to the room with a tray holding two drinks. One glass was filled with dark, carbonated soda and ice; the other drink was more interesting. The glass was filled with a deep red liquid that was dotted with countless sparkling golden specs. A scoop of rich, white ice cream floated on top of the drink with a thick golden, spiraling straw through it.

"Yesss," Monday held her hand out eager for the treat. Though, Gideon was sure to deliver Tessa's drink first before handing the dessert to Monday. She was more of a guest. "Thanks, Gideon!" she smiled at the butler once he handed it to her. "You're the best!"

"Thank you," Gideon nodded, then left the room. Tessa took an interest in the red drink as Monday stirred it with the stiff straw. The cream began diluting the red color into a bright, golden-speckled pink color. Mayor Graves smiled to himself while she played with the drink. His mind was filled with warm memories. Monday felt all eyes on her and she looked up at Tessa.

"Want some?" she asked. Tessa shook her head.

"No, thank you. I just didn't expect the ice cream," she giggled.

"It's something Gideon invented when I was younger," she said. Then, she pointed at the lower half of the glass.

"Unicorn blood...," she said. She moved her hand up and pointed at the melting white scoop. "Unicorn milk ice cream...," then she lifted the spiraled straw out and licked the pink residue off of it. "... and unicorn horn straw," she giggled and returned the straw to the drink.

"Oh, wow," Tessa replied. She enjoyed the occasional unicorn burger after Monday introduced her to them. But, she'd never considered ice cream made from their milk. She decided to try some at some point, without the blood; but, she did not want to impose any further in the Mayor's home.

"So, was there anything else I can do for you or Ms. Sharp?" Mayor Graves asked. Monday shook her head as she sipped at the drink. He had a flash of insight when she did; and, he couldn't help but smile.

Ms. Sharp had a way of making things happen. The minor favor of preparing a few houses wasn't worth an in-person visit. It would have been enough to inform him that she was taking houses after the deed was done. As Monday made the request, he wondered why she was sent at all. But now, her reason for being there was obvious.

"Well then, I have homeowners to rearrange," Mayor Graves said as he stood from the couch. You're welcome to stay as long as you like; and, please do visit more often," he said.

"We will, Mr. Graves," Tessa spoke up for Monday; she was still sipping the treat. The mayor chuckled and gave them a dismissive wave as he walked out of the room.f

"Any friend of Monday's is a friend of mine. Call me Doug."

Thank you for reading! I’m responding to prompts every day. This is story #1749 in a row. (Story #303 in year five.). This story is part of an ongoing saga that takes place at a high school in my universe. It began on August 22nd and I will be adding to it with prompts every day until May 26th. They are all collected in order at this link.


RoboJoe9000 OP t1_iuf5dcp wrote

Neat! Thanks for writing! :) I find it difficult to imagine being able to focus long enough to write a story every day, but suppose that's why I write prompts instead of stories in response to them.


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MickeyG42 t1_iue21m5 wrote

This exists as a series of really shitty Disney movies called Halloween Town


Bring-the-Quiet t1_iug3h6n wrote

Correction: This exists as a series of really freaking fun Disney movies called Halloween Town.


RoboJoe9000 OP t1_iue2y20 wrote

I thought that was about Halloween taking over Christmas or something.