"So, you're not fucking with us here?"

Millie, Jules and I were sitting all around the living room, having a staredown with a woman who we initially thought was the pizza guy when she knocked on the door. She was wearing a dress that seamlessly flowed between shades of purple and orange, with white in the middle. Running down her arms and braided into her fiery red hair were flowers of all colors. The woman shook her head and replied, "What I say to you is the truth: I am indeed Dykhe, goddess of sapphic love and patron of all queer women. And I am here to reward my most loyal followers!"

Jules looked at me with a flat expression and remarked, "Chelsea, I don't want to hear you call your art bad ever again. You literally drew something to life."

A month ago, the three of us made up our own deity after Millie bungled the name of the actual Greek goddess Tyche into Dykhe. We made up a whole origin story and associated myths once we were through cackling like maniacs. Eventually, we were thanking her when things went our way, praying for her protection, and leaving tributes on a makeshift shrine on the counter. It was all in good fun--and now Dykhe was sitting on our loveseat.

Millie raised her hand and asked, "Uh, when you say you want to reward us, what exactly is your definition of reward?"

Dykhe giggled. "Why, making your wildest fantasies come true, of course!"

Millie nodded tentatively. "So, if I were to wish for two sugar mommy dom girlfriends, you would--"

POOF!

A cloud of pink smoke popped up around Millie and dissipated. As it did, we saw that she was now sitting between two older women in matching red turtlenecks who had wrapped their arms around her and began nuzzling her. Millie alternated between looking at her girlfriends and Dykhe in astonishment. "This--this has to be fake, right? We took some edibles and now we're hallucinating?"

The older woman with blonde hair cupped Millie's face and kissed her as the dark-skinned woman purred, "Kitten, you are just too damn cute sometimes." Once Millie was allowed to come up for air, she dazedly sighed and let out a string of attempted words that I think was supposed to be "Thank you mommy." Dykhe then turned her attention to me and Jules with a cheery, "See? Just like that! Now, what do you want, my disciples?"

Jules looked around the room awkwardly. "Uh, I don't know if--"

I jumped out of my seat before Jules could finish her sentence. "I wanna be a seven foot tall muscle queen with a cosplay-loving bunny girlfriend!"

POOF!

The pink smoke appeared around me this time. As it faded, I had the physique I had asked for: beautifully toned muscles from my thighs all the way up to my shoulders, complete with a six pack. As I flexed and struck a few poses, I heard the door to the apartment open and a voice cry out, "BABYYYY!" A woman covered in white fur with a pair of bunny ears sticking out the top of her head launched herself at me. I caught her on instinct as she began kissing me wildly. "I missed you soooo much! But oh my God, the convention was awesome! I can't wait to tell you all about it!"

I smiled and responded, "And I can't wait to hear all about it, princess." I then looked over at Jules and said to her, "C'mon Jules, just do it. There's gotta be something you want, right?"

Jules gulped and looked at Dykhe, whose smile just wouldn't fade. She tugged on the collar of her shirt before saying, "Alright, fine. But I don't want judgement from any of you. Dykhe, I wish... I wish I was married to a cute, chubby woman with a pitbull, two kittens, and a kid on the way."

POOF!

When the pink smoke cleared out, Jules was now visibly pregnant and sitting on the lap of a woman with orange streaks dyed into her hair. The woman sighed happily as she rested her hand on Jules swollen belly. At her feet, a black pitbull was snoozing the day away with a pair of orange kittens on his back following suit. Jules, with tears in her eyes, looked at Dykhe and said, "Thank you, my goddess."

Dykhe stood up and gave a little bow. "It was my pleasure and my duty as your patron, girls. Speaking of which, what would you say if I asked you to be my priestesses, so that I may give your sisters around the world the providence and blessing they deserve?"

I grinned. "I'd say take us to church, my goddess."