I couldn't wait for this day to come. I was hoping uncle John would come to me, or maybe my great grandpa who fought in World War 2. Or maybe even a relative from thousands of years ago who could bestow their ancient wisdom upon me.

Instead, I got a rock.

Willie the Cross-Eyed Rock was a good friend of mine when I was a toddler. I think I still have his remains around here somewhere, but I have my doubts about his abilities as a spirit guide.

"Is this some sort of paranormal joke I don't understand?" I asked Willie.

"..." he replied.

His googly eyes seemed to stare past my physical form and into my soul. It made me feel uneasy. Exposed. Vulnerable. Is this how everyone feels when they turn 16?

"Are you going to say anything? Give me any life advice? Anything at all?" I ask, feeling progressively more insane about talking to a semi-translucent stone.

"..." continued Willie.

"Okay, never mind," I said. "I could really use some help though. I have no idea what I want to do with my life after I graduate. I have no idea how to talk to girls. I want to get into a good college, but precalc is kicking my ass. Greg and Josh are probably going to go to MIT and I'll never see them again. I was really, really hoping my guide would come and help me figure these things out, but all I get is a rock! This is so unfair!"

"..." Willie said.

I threw myself onto my bed and let out an exasperated sigh. "I guess I'll just figure it all out on my own."

"!!!" said Willie.

I felt a calm energy calling me from the other side of the room. Something was compelling me to pick Willie up. I rolled out of bed and walked towards my dresser where Willie sat on a stack of textbooks.

"!!! !!!"

I picked him up and placed him in the palm of my hand. Immediately upon picking him up, I'm filled with serenity. My eyes meet his googly eyes, and memories of being a little kid, playing in the woods, riding bikes, jumping out of swings, and playing hide-and-seek come back to me as if I just lived through them. Tears streamed down my smiling face. I continued to look into his plastic, lifeless eyes, and visions of me going to college, falling in love, getting married and having kids poured into my mind.

"Are these real?" I said, trying to prevent more tears from escaping.

"..." said Willie.

"I guess I'll never get a straight answer out of you, will I?" I said.

I didn't know if Willie the Cross-Eyed Rock could see the future, but after that I couldn't help but feel like things would work out. I put Willie down on my nightstand and laid back down in my bed.

"Thanks Willie," I said. "Goodnight."

"..." said Willie.