"Man, you are ugly. You're definitely staying single for life with that face." My sword pretended to gag as I wiped blood off my brow. My short black hair drenched ruby red in the sunlight. I whipped my blade covered in blood as it scattered onto the grass.

"You missed a spot. Also, you handle a sword like a toddler." I've had this sword for a couple years now. I bought it for only a few copper. I thought it was an amazing deal seeing that it looked like an amazing weapon. The sword edge shined deep red in a way that made it look unique. I could sense its power within.

"I'm honestly surprised you made it this far."

I was curious why it was cheap. The guy looked really desperate to get rid of it. When I took the sword home. It was silent like any other blade. That lasted about two days. I still remember the first words it spoke to me. I was going to cut a roast from a boar I just recently hunted. I cooked it under a fire while camping out. "You. You better not be thinking about what I think your thinking. I am not a cooking knife. Put me down right now." I stopped reminiscing, returning to the present.

"If it wasn't for me, these orcs would have slaughtered you and ate you for breakfast the next day." I ignored him as I walked over the mangled dead bodies of orcs scattered around me like fresh leaves shaken from a tree.

"You smell like orc shit." That time I laughed.

"Why you laughing?!" The sword asked offended.

"Because I'm wondering how a sword can even smell."

The sword went silent a moment.

"I don't need to smell to know you smell of orc shit."

"Touche." I said calmly while trying to withhold a giggle. The sword sighed.

"You are no fun. Out of all the owners I had, you are the only one that can take my insults calmly without any reactions."

"I want a new owner." The sword said begrudgingly.

I smiled condescendedly.

"Unfortunately for you, you're stuck with me since no one can handle your snide remarks...except me."

"Grr." The sword grunted in reply while I laughed harder.

"You got another 3 orcs on your six. You better not embarrass me again." I turned around and glanced at the orcs that slowly approached me. They looked at their dead brethren before glaring at me.

Roar! They charged at me seeking blood and vengeance as well as honor and glory.

"Your posture is wrong! Spread your legs and bend your knees. How many times do I have to say this?!" I did as I was told.

"To your left you buffoon." I swung at an angle as an orc brought an axe down to my left. I redirected the axe so that it fell beside me. The sword glowed green as a wind gust increased the momentum of the axe. It got stuck into the ground. I aimed for his neck as he tried to pull it out. A clean slice. A head flew.

"Hey, watch it! I might be the most powerful sword in existence but glancing an axe still makes me uncomfortable. It's like getting felt up by a stranger." The sword vibrated from the powerful contact.

I span 360 degrees and used my momentum to kick the falling head at the next orc to my right. The orc who was in mid swing with a wild hail maker punch growled as it eyes widened as the head flew true and hit him right in the face. The orc stumbled backwards as it became blind from the blood of his people.

"Hahahaha now that was brilliant!" The sword shined in a blue glow as an ice blade shot out of it and cut the orc in half.

"Oh I think that's the first compliment you have ever given me."

"Shut up! Behind you!"

I flipped the sword in a backwards grip and stabbed behind me. I tilted my body as a sword flew and cut off a strand of my hair on the way down. I felt flesh as my talking sword sunk into the orcs gut. I turned swiftly and pulled—the orcs head flying a moment later. I took a breath to recollect myself.

"Never. I mean never. Stab me in an orcs gut again. It was bloody disgusting. You better give me a good wipe down later."

"Sure thing buddy."

"Hmph!"

I glanced at the dead bodies one last time before gathering all their teeth before making my way back to the adventurers guild. My task accomplished...