Walking over to the kotatsu and sitting down as he spoke I sighed with pleasure as the warmth under the heated table seeped into me. Grimacing at his mention of tea, I had never liked his tea as it was much to bitter and left a strange aftertaste of something metallic in my mouth, I launched into a description of my last two years. Speaking fondly of my time applying to JAXA’s astronaut program. I shared my joy and excitement at succeeding in being selected for the program, but the pit of bitterness and depression in my stomach slowly seeped into my words as I spoke of flying through each test with ease. Old man Tabito wandered over to the kotatsu with a tray of tea making paraphernalia and his old cast iron teapot. Setting down the steaming pot and tray before settling into a comfortable position under the heated table. I could see the concern and attentiveness in his eyes, he had noticed the creeping bitterness in my tone as I finally came to the disastrous psych test. Describing the months long test, I shared how things had started so brilliantly. Locked into the small simulated space ship, me and three other astronaut candidates were expected to live and work together for those long months. Our familiarity and kinship had started the test wonderfully, we each motivated the others and achieved our tasks expertly. Sadly though, over time I had felt a growing panic. It began to effect my performance and by the second month I had become irritable, irrational and begun to lash out in small ways. The other candidates supported me at first, but eventually I saw myself falling behind. While my fellow candidates grew together and thrived, I withdrew and fell into a depression. Finally came the day when I snapped, I could feel in my heart that I was not going to pass this hurdle and the stress of falling behind built into a sudden tidal wave of fear and emotion as I was showering that morning. My fellow candidate found me later, curled into a fetal position naked in the shower. They attempted to calm me, but in my panicked state I had screamed and lashed out at them with flailing arms. I hadn’t realized until after I woke up the following morning that I had been sedated and taken out of the simulated ship. In my frenzy I had apparently caused a fellow candidate to slip and fall. Her broken elbow had caused her to be medically discharged from the Astronaut program. My panic and shame had caused me to be discharged as well.

A wet feeling falling on my clenched fists snapped me back to reality. I could feel the hot tears streaking down my cheeks as the burning shame kept my eyes tightly shut. The old man didn’t speak for a while, and the world felt timeless and unforgiving until I felt a hot cup brush between my knuckles on the table. The steam wafting from the cup made the tracks of my tears feel cold as the familiar bitter smell of old man Tabito’s tea washed over my down turned face caused me to gasp in a shaking breath. Opening my eyes, I grasped the cup in both my hands and looked up to see my surrogate father looking at me. His normally stern face had softened into a concerned look.

“Drink boy.” he said softly, but firmly.

My shaking shoulders caused the tea to slosh as I turned my face back down. Sniffing hard to clear my nostrils of the snot my sobbing had caused I was shocked at how strong the tea smelled, but I obediently sipped and swallowed. Dramatically more bitter and metallic than I remembered, I felt it fit my mood perfectly. The warmth and astringent feeling in my mouth flowed down my throat and helped to calm the shaking in my shoulders, the sharp feeling of sorrow eased slightly. Lifting the cup for another sip, my mind cleared a bit and my breathing eased into a calmer rhythm.

“Don’t speak for a while. Just listen,” the old man softly spoke to my down turned face, “This must feel to you like a great failure. You probably believe that you have lost your dream. I know you have long desired to leave this world and reach for places further, and you feel like this dream has slipped from your grasp.”

The old man stopped to sip his own tea as I nodded my head, a strange sense of gravity seeming to pull me down in a way that matched my guilt and shame. The weight of not only my failure, but also the weight of knowing I ended my fellow candidate’s dream as well. Fresh tears traced down my face as I clenched my eyes closed harder and the strange gravity felt like it pulled me through the wooden floor. As the feeling of the floor passing through my body slipped through my head, my emotions stilled and I felt weightless. Adrift in these imagined sensations, Tabito again began to speak.

“Son, your dreams are not over. From the first time you visited my shrine I could see that you were destined to travel beyond your world.” He softly spoke before sipping his tea again, “drink my boy, it will help you move on.”

I obeyed, sipping the overly strong bitter tea and wondering at the shift in his tone and words. The way he had said “your world” had resonated strangely.

“You will move on from your world and travel the heavens. You need to let go of your shame. I have come to love you as a son my boy. You have a strong soul, one that desires to be grand and endeavor towards a brighter future.”

“Father, here is a fresh pot of tea. It seems your guest has finished his cup and I think this tea will help calm him.” a velvety feminine voice softly spoke as the feeling of gravity returned. A hand almost a soft as the velvety voice caressed mine as it took my cup and replaced it with a new one. Fresh steam wafted up from it, the smell fragrant and sweet. Sipping the tea, my mind cleared, the haze of depression lifting. It was mild and delicious, and as I enjoyed it I opened my eyes… and sputtered in shock dropping the cup of tea which luckily wobbled and settled on the blue stone table instead of shattering or spilling.

“Wha-what is this?” I half shouted, my head snapping back and forth as each thing I saw confused me more. Before me was no longer a warm wooden kotatsu, but a blue stone table, and old man Tabito was now a strange old looking rabbit in an ornate flowing robe. No this wasn’t a rabbit, his snow white fur and long upright ears were rabbit like, but this was a man? Frantically I peered around, the old man’s cabin was gone replaced by an open air pagoda. Soft blue’s carpeted the mossy ground and the sky was a strange red. Looking to the side I saw another rabbit… woman? Her fur was an even brighter white, almost glowing, but what caught my attention was her poise. She was beautiful, captivating even, and she radiated an unearthly calm and grace just kneeling as she was beside me.

“I see you can’t take your eyes off my daughter.” old man Tabito’s voice spoke sternly, causing me to snap my face in his direction.

The old bunny man was still sitting there instead of Tabito… but something in the way his eyes gleamed mischievously seemed familiar.

“O-old Man?” I hesitantly stuttered.

“Yes, it is me, and we have much to talk about my son.”