[holy shit this is a good line]

A Letter from Brigadier General Lorçilau Paltz (Ret.) to Nimian (Nimmy) Paltz, Corporal 2nd Class

Dear Nimmy

I'm sorry to use your parents name for you, Nimmy, Though I hope to make a point, especially if this letter is to be read in the barracks by your Captian, as was the practice in my day.

If there be a Capitan to read this, you would do well to listen too.

Your exploits are the stuff of legend to the farmers back home. They gather around the pub and cheers to you with cries of "give the bastards their due, what ho!". Of note was your recent 'de-hostiling' of Joviçau, which was reported to the press with great fanfare.

The sod-fuckers don't know what de-hostiling means. I do. And so do you.

So when my nephew writes to his old Onkel and talks about such wickedness, I feel compelled to write back, knowing full well that this will be read by you, Capitan, that you might shame my nephew for daring to filch a letter from his loving family in the midst of war.

War? You do not yet know war. You are a child who has tasted their first autumn frost and called it winter.

Yes, I speak to you, Captian Oberin of the 22nd Flechetters, under whom my nephew serves. The farmer may clink their classes to you. They will smile with cow-shit in their teeth as they regal your "de-hostiling" with relish. But I warn you that your unrestrained butchery will put not only your men in danger, but every single citizen you proclaim to defend. For in ravishing the land and the people, you create more enemies than you will ever 'de-hostile' in your lives. They will live their every waking moment to find your families and repay your 'de-hostiling' with interest. And they will, for the tortured and beaten are excellent learners, and they lose all meaning to live but to demonstrate their knowledge to their teachers.

If you have any questions on this, Capitan, you may come and find me at the address enclosed and I will discuss with you, to the limits I have agreed to, how I came to learn this.

A final word, Capitan: there are other terms of which you do not yet know. If I hear of any more "de-hostiling" of cities and innocents in the prosecution of this vicious war, I will use all my rank and resources to provide instruction to you on these terms.

My Regards,

Lorçilau Platz, Brig. General (Ret.)