I only ordered a water, I was thirsty. It turns out the unlimited breadsticks applied to that order too, even if the water was free, so now too were the breadsticks. Scientists had been studying microplastics and radiation for years, but those were only the trees in the forest of what would become unlimited breadsticks. We never could have seen the exponential growth that came from the sticks, and we tried to eat our way out when we could, but sometimes you can only really carbo load so much. Our best squatters and body builders ended up sinking into the mass of bread and being lost, while the rest of us tried to ride it out. We’ve finally reached the edge of the atmosphere, and olive garden continues to produce breadsticks. Soon I will be on the edge of the atmosphere with no air and no one to share these with. When you’re here, you’re family.