It was a miricale that John got a book publishing deal. I don't how he pulled it off, but for whatever reason. I'm so happy for him.

He told me it was his dream to publish a book. I already had an idea of what he was writing about. The style he was going for wasn't my cup of tea.

I like books that are sweet, filled with love, and have happy endings. That kind that pulls your heart, filling your stomach with butterflies.

His style was more dark, it pulls you in for a ride your not ready for. It left sprinkles of sweetness in the story, but it felt liked it was forced in.

I didn't want to read what he wrote. I told him how it made me feel and eventually he stop giving me a draft.

It wasn't until a year later when he published his book.

I forgot about it. I wouldn't have remember if it wasn't for my coworker. Sally ranted to me that it was the most tear-jerking, disgusting and the most romantic srory she has ever read. I ask for the name of the book. She told me the name and author of the book.

I recongnize the author, it was my husbands pen name.

I asked Sally if I should read the book too. She was hesitant. She was pondering on the decision. She told me yes, but ready your heart.

After work, I stopped by the bookstore and asked for the book. The librarian nodded and retrive it for me. I grabbed the book from her hands. As i head for the door the librarian told me, "Be ready for the wonderful tale." I just waved back and walked off.

I wanted to read before i got home. I wanted to know what John wrote. I don't like theae kinds of books. But for my husband, I'll read it.

I don't have words to describe what I just read. From this however, I learned a lot of things about John. The way he weaved his words into my soul, crushing it and sooting it at the same time. About the ugliness and the beauty of it. I also know how he got the publishing job.

My legs are shaking, am I really scared to go back home? To meet John?

I was left with a question from the book, why? The book didn't answer it.

I'll meet John to get that answered.

I made it home the smell of the food penetrated my nose with an alluring aroma. John was in the kitchen, making dinner ready for tonight.

"Welcome home, your just in time for dinner. Foods hot and ready." John was smiling like he always does, it has another meaning after reading the book.

"Hey John... i read your book."

John paused in place. His face is not in view, i can't tell what he is thinking.

I asked him " Was everything in the book true?"

"Yes."

"All the stuff about your coworkers?"

"Yes."

"John if you needed help, I could've-"

"No."

"But why John!?"

John refused to show me his emotion, he brought out a bag and dig around in it before pulling out a book. The exact book I had in my hand. He handed it to me.

"John I already read-"

the cover was diffrent. It didn't have the words of the title nor did it have his pen name. All it said was:

To Janet,

My Loving Wife

I carefully grabbed the book and start reading.

I got lost in it, it was sweet, every word in the page it filled with love, not only I got the the butterflies, I got the tinglies too. The little girl inside me was jumping with joy. The story was about me and John living happly ever after. A tear left me with joy.

"This is the reason why. I wanted to tell my love about you. I didn't want anyone else finding out about how much I love you. I learned it was embarrasing for me to tell that in public. I wanted you to know anyway. I wasn"t gping to give it to you half-washed. I waited till it was ready, till you were ready. To accept all of me."

I couldn't help but to accept him. He made me very happy.

My only wish is that I didn't know why he kept his mouth so clean.

-Jack Rock