"Uhhhhh... what?"

As confused murmurs went up through the crowd that had assembled for the announcement of Princess Terpsichore's engagement, Terpsichore herself practically leapt off of the podium and pulled me into a bear hug. As she squeezed the life out of me, she said, "All my life I've known I love women, but my parents would've never approved if they knew! But thanks to you, I don't have to go through with the wedding and--oh my gosh, I just realized how cute you are! What's your name?"

My blush overtook most of my face as I attempted to ignore the fact that Terpsichore's chest was pressed against mine to say, "R-Ruby. My name is Ruby. Do you really think I'm...cute?"

"Of course I do! Look at yourself, you're positively scrumptious! You're like a big cupcake covered in a pitch black chocolate frosting!"

I pulled my hat down over my eyes to (unsuccessfully) hide just how flustered Terpsichore was making me. Terpsichore promptly pushed my hat back up and remarked, "Hey, don't do that! I wanna see those pretty eyes of yours over tea! Speaking of which, do you want to have afternoon tea with me?"

I nodded happily and said, "Yes I do!"

Terpsichore squeaked with delight and lifted me into a bridal carry. As she ran off for our date, she called out to her parents, "Bye mother! Bye father! I'm running away from home!"

And that's the story of how I met my wife.